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Maggie: What?
Jason: I'm...err...trying to think of the next logical step in this thing.
Maggie: Well, by the time you've thought of the next logical step, Mike and Julie will be
happily married, and then what will we do?
Mike: Nothing!! Because we'll be happily married.
Maggie: Mike, there's no reason to raise your voice. We can have a nice, calm, rational
intercourse here.
Grandpa: Margaret!!!!
Maggie: Daddy, just shut up!!!
Grandpa: No, now you see by that example, I can see why your children are yelling at you!!
Jason: Like I said, Maggie, super idea.
Mike: Listen, you guys can say whatever you want, but Julie and I are getting married!!! I
mean, we'll elope if we have to, right Julie?
Julie: Mike!
Mike: And I'm not talking about three months from now, Mom. I'm talking about tonight.
Ba-bing! Ba-bang! Err...
Jason: Ba-boom.
Mike: Ba-boom! Right Julie?
Julie: Excuse us.
Mike: Hey!
Grandma: Family wedding, oh, you two must be so thrilled.
Julie: How could you say something so crazy, like, we're eloping?
Mike: Look, would you just calm down!
Julie: I mean, isn't that something we should talk about, instead of you just blurting it out?
Mike: Yes, yes, we'll talk about it, OK? Calmly and rationally. So, what do you think?
Julie: I didn't subscribe to "Bride's Magazine" for six years, just to end up in front of some
justice of peace, in some scummy chapel, in some place where it smells bad!! I...I just...
Mike: Wait, what...what...what...you'd rather just not get married at all?
Julie: Yes.
Mike: What?
Julie: No. Yes. I don't know. I know, let's just elope.
Ben: Grandma, Grandpa, we didn't know you guys were coming.
Jason: No, apparently that was a well guarded secret.
Grandpa: So, Carol, looks like you're gaining a sister in law.
Carol: And, losing a brother.
Ben: I'm gaining an apartment.
Grandma: Now, isn't this Julie the same girl you've been raving about all these months?
Carol: The very same.
Grandma: And Maggie, didn't you say once that you hoped Mike would meet and settle down
with a girl like Julie?
Maggie: Mom, of all the things I've ever said, you've picked that one to remember!
Grandpa: That Michael is a lucky man.
Maggie: He is not a lucky man! He is a boy! And when did you two get so lenient?
Grandma: We've always been lenient.
Maggie: Mom, Dad, did you two drive two hundred miles just to torment us?
Grandpa: With the short-cuts I know, this old copper's cut that down to about a hundred and
eighty three.
Maggie: Mom, Dad, why don't you two turn right around and go back to Boston!
Grandpa: Maggie! Maggie! Dear, is something bothering you?
Maggie: Stop! Stop it!
Jason: Maggie, Come on! Now, under normal circumstances I would applaud you telling your
parents to hit the road. Heck, I'd do the wave! But, I think tonight, you have strayed from
your original purpose.
Maggie: You're right! Let's find her and fire her!
Jason: No!! Maggie, no! Look, come on, whatever happened to the calm, rational discussion?
Whatever happened to the little chat over dinner? What happened to dinner?
Maggie: Well I...I figured she'd never make it past the pate. Look, I don't feel so great about
what I just did. But I am worried to death about Mike. He's this sweet kid, who's nowhere near
ready for the trials and tribulations of marriage.
Jason: Hey, I know that.
Maggie: Jason, do remember how tough our first year together was? Remember the pain? We
almost didn't make it. I just love him so much, I don't wanna see him hurt.
Jason: Nor do I honey, that's...
Maggie: But you don't think he should go ahead and...
Jason: No, no, not at all. No, but I do think those two should hear what you just said to me.
Now, I think the four of us should sit down and...and talk this out together.
Maggie: You're right.
Grandpa: Alright! Now freeze!!
Jason: Oh, Ed, you're not gonna tell me to spread 'em again, are you?
Grandpa: If I have to!! But, enough of this malarkey! I think the four of you should be
together in the same room, to talk this damn blasted thing out!!
Jason: Ed, I couldn't agree with you more.
Grandpa: OK. What's the head shrinker trying to pull?
Maggie: Nothing, Daddy.
Grandma: You know, I was just thinking...
Jason: Oh.
Grandma: This is all so funny. Ha ha ha. You are reacting to Mike's fiancée, just as I reacted to
Jason.
Maggie: Ha! Did I ever call Julie a hippy sleaze ball, who wanted to be some second-rate rock
star?!! Have I ever said to Mike, "until you regain your senses, we will do the thinking for you!
Young man, it's time to nip this thing in the bud!!" Jason?
Jason: Did you ever hear that demo I cut with the new bass player?
Maggie: No, I haven't! Because I would never talk that way to my son!
Grandpa: You don't have to say another word. I mean, why should you go down there and be
treated like a child?
Mike: Yeah!
Grandpa: Why should you be subjected to that, just for defending this little tramp?
Julie: What?
Mike: Hey! Listen, that's my future wife you're talking about!!
Grandpa: Mike, just between the two of us; you don't marry girls like this.
Julie: Gals like this!!
Mike: Hey, listen Grandpa, as much as I love you, you say another word and I'm gonna have
to hit you!!
Grandpa: Come on, you can't honestly tell me, you think this marriage is a good idea!
Mike: I sure can, I think it's a great idea! And nothing and nobody is gonna stand in the way
of me marrying Julie, because I love her.
Grandpa: Well, what are you talking to me for? Go down there and tell your parents that!
Mike: I will! Let's go Julie! Hey, Grandpa, thanks.
Grandpa: For what?
Julie: Calling me a tramp.
Grandpa: My pleasure.
Jason: Yep, well, I for one am glad that we're all finally sitting down to reason together.
Maggie: And I want to apologize for being over-emotional earlier. It's just out of my love for
Mike.
Julie: I can relate to that.
Maggie: Right.
Jason: Yes, well, just to make sure that this thing starts off right, I wanna say that, we accept
the fact that you two are gonna get married.
Maggie and Julie: What?
Julie: Wow.
Mike: Hey, wait a minute, wait a minute. I bet there's a catch.
Jason: Relax. There's a catch.
Mike: I knew it.
Jason: Well, look the whole issue here Mike, is really one of timing. I mean why do you wanna
get married in three months? Why not wait a year? Why do you wanna jump into this thing?
Mike: See, there you go again Dad, just jump into this thing. I am not jumping, OK? Do you
see anyone in this room who is jumping? We're all sitting!
Jason: Mike.
Mike: Look, I am not gonna sit here and be accused of jumping when I am clearly sitting!!
Jason: Alright, let me rephrase the question; is this the right time for you to be planning a
wedding?
Maggie: Planning? They haven't planned didley!!
Jason: Maggie!
Maggie: Well, I'm not gonna sit here silently, when I know they haven't planned didley!!
Mike: You're not sitting, you're standing!
Jason: Oh, come on, both of you!! Now remember a little while ago, I said I wanted to take
the next logical step to this thing?
Maggie: And?
Jason: And, there is no next logical step to this thing!
Maggie: Thank you Doctor. Here's one hundred Dollars.
Jason: Maggie, what I mean is, we've got to start from scratch! They're not kids anymore,
they're adults.
Maggie: Yes, Jason! Now, but I think they're wrong and I know you do too. And if you won't
say it, then I will.
Jason: I'll say it. You should wait.
Mike: I don't care what you say. Julie and I are getting married, no matter what!!
Maggie: And, I say, until you regain your senses we will do the thinking for you! Young man,
it's time to nip this thing in the bud!
Mike: Nip this thing in the bud?
Maggie: Oh, my God! It's true, you do turn into your mother. Nip it in the bud; Jason, when
was the last time you heard that?
Jason: I don't know...five minutes ago in the kitchen.
Maggie: No! No, twenty years ago in my parent's kitchen. I...I can't do this; I can't do to them,
what was done to us. Mike, I am not going to stand in your way.
Julie: You're not?
Maggie: No.
Mike: Well, what's the catch this time?
Maggie: There's no catch.
Mike: So, you're saying you approve of this marriage.
Maggie: Not in three months I don't. But, you will never hear another bad word about it from
me.
Mike: Dad?
Jason: I'm with your mother.
Mike: But it's a start.
Maggie: Julie, welcome to the family.
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