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Ross: Noooo.
不。
Rachel: Oh Ross, honey you gotta stop torturing yourself!
罗斯，别再折磨自己了！
Phoebe: Yeah, why don't you just find another apartment?
你去找别的房子嘛。
Ross: Look, I've already looked at like a thousand apartments this month and none of them even compares to that one!
我这个月已经看了上千个房子，没有一间比得上那一间！
Ross: Well except for one, but I would've had to share it with an Armenian family. Grandma really liked me. But I want Ugly Naked Apartment!
有一间不错，但是我得跟一家亚美尼亚人一起住，那个奶奶很喜欢我。但我想要丑裸男的公寓！
Rachel: You know what you should do?
你知道你应该怎么做吗？
Ross: Huh?
恩？
Rachel: You-you should find out what his hobbies are and then use that to bond with him.
你应该找出他的嗜好，拿来跟他套交情。
Rachel: Yeah! Like if I wanted something from Joey, I would strike up a conversation about, say, umm, sandwiches. Or uh, or my underwear.
例如我对乔伊有所求，我就会聊……三明治或是我的内衣。
Joey: I'm listening.
我在听。
Rachel: See?
看吧。
Ross: That is a great idea! And! I know Ugly Naked Guy because we've been watching him for like five years so that gives me back my edge! Oh, let's see now he had the trampoline.
好棒的主意！而且我了解丑裸男，因为我们偷窥了他5年。所以我又重新占了上风！好，他有一张跳床。
Phoebe: Yeah well he broke that.
被他跳坏了。
Ross: Well, he had gravity boots.
他有一双重力靴。
Rachel: Yeah, he broke those too.
也被他穿坏了。
Joey: So he likes to break stuff.
所以他喜欢破坏东西。
Ross: Ok, I've gotta go pick up Ben but I-I will figure something out. Hey, didn't he used to have a cat?
好，我得去接班，不过我会想出来的。他之前不是有一只猫吗？
Phoebe: I wouldn't bring that up, it would probably just bum him out.
别提那个，会害他心情不好。
Joey: Yeah, poor cat, never saw that big butt coming.
可怜的猫咪，没看到大屁股压下来。
Rachel: Hello! Oh! Yeah! Hey! Hold on a second she's right here! It's Chandler.
喂？在，等一下，她就在旁边！钱德找你！
Phoebe: Oh? Hello you.
嗨，你。
Chandler: Hello Phoebe, I've been thinking about you all day.
菲比，我一整天都在想你。
Phoebe: Eh?
啊？
Chandler: Well you know that thing you said before, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't intrigued.
你之前的提议，说我不心动是骗人的。
Phoebe: Really?
是吗？
Chandler: Yeah, listen, Joey's not gonna be here tonight so why don't you come over and I'll let you uh, feel my bicep. Or maybe more.
对，乔伊晚上不在。你要不要过来，我让你摸我的二头肌，甚至是别的地方。
Phoebe: I'll have to get back to you on that. Ok, bye! Oh my God! He wants me to come over and feel his bicep and more!
我待会再给你答复，再见！天哪，他找我去摸他的二头肌和别的地方！
Rachel: Are you kidding? !
不会吧？
Phoebe: No!
是真的！
Rachel: I can not believe he would do that to Mon- Whoa!
他居然背着莫妮卡……呃！
Rachel: Joey, do they know that we know?
乔伊，他们知道我们知道吗？
Joey: No.
不知道。
Rachel: Joey!
乔伊！
Joey: They know you know.
他们知道你们知道了。
Rachel: Ugh, I knew it!
我就知道！
Joey: I would say 'Thank God! Everybody knows. It's finally over.' But that hasn't been working for me.
我本来会说：谢天谢地，大家都知道了，总算没事了。但每次说都没用。
Rachel: Oh, I cannot believe those two!
真不敢相信那两个人！
Phoebe: God, they thought that they could mess with us? ! They're trying to mess with us? ! They don't know that we know they know we know! And Joey, you can't say anything!
他们以为他们可以耍我们，想耍我们是吧？他们不知道我们知道，他们知道我们知道了。乔伊，你不能说。
Joey: Couldn't even if I wanted to.
我也不想说了。
Ross: Good evening, sir. My name is Ross Geller. I'm one of the people who applied for the apartment. And I-I realize that the competition is fierce but...
你好，我是罗斯盖勒，我也申请要租你的房子。我知道竞争很激烈，但是……
Ross: I'm sorry. I, I can't help but notice that you're naked and I applaud you. Man, I wish I was naked. I mean, this-this looks so great. That is how God intended it.
抱歉，我注意到你光着身体。我为你鼓掌，我也好想光着身体。看起来好舒服，这正是上帝造人的本意。
Monica: Look at them, they're-they're panicked!
你看她们多慌！
Chandler: Oh yeah, they're totally gonna back down!
她们绝对会退缩！
Monica: Oh yeah!
没错！
Phoebe: All right. All right! If he wants a date, he's gonna get a date. All right, I'm gonna go in.
好，他敢约我就敢去，我要过去了。
Rachel: Ok, ok, be sexy.
好，性感一点。
Phoebe: Please.
拜托。
Phoebe: So Chandler, I-I'd love to come by tonight.
钱德，我晚上可以过去。
Chandler: Really?
真的？
Phoebe: Oh absolutely. Shall we say, around seven?
当然，就7点吧？
Chandler: Yes.
好。
Phoebe: Good. I'm really looking forward to you and me having sexual intercourse.
很好，我很期待跟你发生性关系。
Joey: Hey-hey, check it out! Check it out! Ugly Naked Guy's got a naked friend!
快来看！丑裸男有裸友来访！
Rachel: Oh yeah! Oh my God! That is our friend! It's Naked Ross!
真的！天哪，那是我们的朋友！是裸罗斯！
Ross: Would you like another mini muffin? Try the blueberry, they're delicious.
你还要小英式松饼吗？吃吃看蓝莓口味，很好吃。
Rachel: Show time!
上场啰！
Phoebe: Hey, Rachel, get me perfume! Rachel: Ok!
瑞秋，拿香水来！好！
Phoebe: And Joey, get me a bottle of wine and glasses?
乔伊，帮我拿一瓶酒两个酒杯。
Phoebe: All right. Thanks. But umm, glasses that do not have handles and that are glass. And umm wine that is not olive oil. Rachel: Uh!
谢谢，但我要的是没把手的玻璃杯，我要酒不要橄榄油。啊！
Monica: All right, it'll be great! You just make her think you wanna have sex with her! It'll totally freak her out!
放心好了！只要让她以为你想跟她上床，她绝对会吓到！
Chandler: Ok, listen, how far am I gonna have to go with her?
我到底得撑到什么程度？
Monica: Relax, she-she's gonna give in way before you do!
别紧张，她会比你先投降！
Chandler: How do you know? !
你怎么知道？
Monica: Because you're on my team! And my team always wins!
因为你跟我同一队！我这一队总是赢1
Chandler: At this? !
赢这种事？
Monica: Just go get some! Go!
总之去吓她，快去！
Rachel: Ok honey, now I'm gonna try to listen from right here!
好，我会站在门外听！
Phoebe: Ok.
好。
Rachel: Ok? Whoa, wait!
等一下！
Phoebe: Good idea!
好主意！
Rachel: Yeah, oh wait!
等等！
Phoebe: Oh now, don't give away the farm! ok.
别血本无归了！好。
Chandler: Phoebe.
菲比。
Phoebe: Chandler.
钱德。
Chandler: Come on in.
进来吧。
Phoebe: I was going to. Umm, I brought some wine. Would you like some?
我正要进去。我带了酒来，你要吗？
Chandler: Sure.
好啊。
Phoebe: So, here we are. Nervous?
就我们俩了，紧张吗？
Chandler: Me? No. You?
我？不会，你呢？
Phoebe: No, I want this to happen.
不会，这样正合我意。
Chandler: So do I.
我也是。
Chandler: I'm gonna put on some music.
我去放点音乐。
Chandler: Joey likes to scare the duck.
乔伊喜欢吓鸭子。
Phoebe: Maybe I'll dance for you.
我跳舞给你看好了。
Chandler: You look good.
你真美。
Phoebe: Thanks! You know, that when you say things like that it makes me wanna rip that sweater vest right off!
谢谢！你说这种话，让我好想扯掉你的毛衣背心。
Chandler: Well, why don't we move this into the bedroom?
不如进房里再说吧？
Phoebe: Really?
真的吗？
Chandler: Oh, do you not wanna?
你不想吗？
Phoebe: No. No! I just, you know first, I wanna take off all my clothes and have you rub lotion on me.
不是，只是我想先脱掉衣服，让你替我擦乳液。
Chandler: Well that would be nice. I'll go get the lotion.
听起来不错，我去拿乳液。
Chandler: Listen, this is totally getting out of hand! Ok? She wants me to put lotion on her!
情况完全失控了！她要我帮她擦乳液！
Monica: She's bluffing!
她在唬你！
Chandler: Look, she's not backing down! She went like this!
她没打算放弃，她还这样！
Phoebe: He's not backing down. He went to get lotion.
他没打算放弃，他去拿乳液了。
Rachel: It's Chandler, you-you can take him. I mean come on, don't you remember, when you made him cry usingonly your words?
他是钱德，你可以搞定他。还记得你曾经把他骂哭吗？
Joey: Oh man! Aren't you guys done yet? ! I wanna sit in my chair!
真是的，你们还没好吗？我想坐我的椅子！
Rachel: Joey look, just look at it this way, the sooner Phoebe breaks Chandler the sooner this is all over and out in the open.
乔伊，菲比一突破钱德的心防，这一切就结束公开了。
Joey: Ooh! I like that!
我喜欢！
Rachel: Ok!
好！
Joey: Oh, ok! Show him your bra! He's afraid of bras! Can't work 'em!
我知道，让他看你的胸罩，他怕胸罩，他解不开！
Phoebe: Joey!
乔伊！
Phoebe: Wow, you didn't rip off any buttons.
你没把扣子都挑开。
Joey: It's not my first time.
经验老道。
Monica: You go back out there and you seduce her till she cracks!
你给我回去，色诱她让她屈服！
Chandler: Ok, give me a second! Did you clean up in here?
好，等一下！你打扫过吗？
Monica: Of course.
当然了！
Chandler: Oh, you're-you're going?
你要走了？
Phoebe: Umm, not without you, lover.
除非你跟我走，爱人。
Phoebe: So this is my bra.
这是我的胸罩。
Chandler: It's very, very nice. Well, come here. I'm very happy we're gonna have all the sex.
非常非常好看。过来，我很高兴我们要做爱了。
Phoebe: You should be. I'm very bendy.
你是该高兴，我的身体很柔软。
Phoebe: I'll kiss you now.
我要吻你了。
Chandler: Not if I kiss you first.
除非我先吻你。
Chandler: Well, I guess there's nothing left for us to do but-but kiss.
接下来就只能接吻了。
Phoebe: Here it comes. Our first kiss.
终于来了，我们的初吻。
Chandler: Ok! Ok! Ok! All right! You win! You win! I can't have sex with ya!
好，你赢了！我不能跟你上床！
Phoebe: And why not? !
为什么？
Chandler: Because I'm in love with Monica!
因为我爱莫妮卡！
Phoebe: You're-you're what? !
你什么？
Chandler: Love her! That's right, I...Love...Her! I love her!
没错，我爱她，我，爱她！
Chandler: I love you, Monica.
我爱你，莫妮卡。
Monica: I love you too Chandler.
我也爱你，钱德。
Phoebe: I just - I thought you guys were doing it, I didn't know you were in love!
我以为你们只是搞在一起，我不知道你们相爱！
Joey: Dude!
伙计！
Chandler: And hats off to Phoebe. Quite a competitor. And may I say your breasts are still showing.
向菲比致敬，强劲的对手。提醒一下你的胸部还晾在外面。
Phoebe: God!
天哪。
Joey: All right! So that's it! It's over! Everybody knows!
就这样，结束了！大家都知道了！
Monica: Well actually, Ross doesn't.
罗斯还不知道。
Chandler: Yes, and we'd appreciate it if no one told him yet.
对，请你们先别告诉他。
Ross: Well here it is. A new place for a new Ross. I'm gonna have you and all the guys from work over once it's you know, furnished.
就是这里，全新罗斯的新家。我一布置好就请你和同事来坐。
Dr. Ledbetter: I must say it's nice to see you're back on your feet.
很高兴看到你重新振作。
Ross: Well I am that. An-and that whole rage thing is definitely behind me.
我是振作了，脾气暴躁的事都过去了。
Dr. Ledbetter: I wonder if it's time for you to rejoin our team at the museum?
我认为你是不是该回馆里上班了？
Ross: Oh Donald that-that would be great. I am totally ready to come back to work. I...
那就太好了，我已经准备好重回岗位，我……
Ross: What? No! Wh...What're you doing? ! Get Off My Sister!
什么？不！你在干什么？离我妹妹远点！
