Chandler: Do you think that there's a town in uh, Missouri or some place called Sample? And ah, as you're driving into town there's there's like a sign, and it says "You're in Sample."

Monica: Hey. Hey! How'd it go with Pete? ! Tell us!

Monica: You're not gonna believe this. Ok, so I go over. I'm sorry. Ex excuse us. I'm sorry, it's a little crowded. Do you mind if we. Yeah, could you scooch?

Billy: Yeah, move over just a little bit. Gracias.

Robin: Keep on scooching. Gracias.

Monica: So, guys listen, I go over there, and umm you know, I I. Why? Why? ! What's it always me? !

Billy: What's the matter? Tim, I have a feeling.I, my wife is sleeping with her gynecologist.

Billy: How do you know? Well you know, he's got access. Yeah.

Robin: You know it's that feeling you get, you know?

Billy: Like when you go bowling and you know you're in somebody else's shoes?

Robin: That's the one.

Phoebe: All right, so, so you went to Pete's. What happened? I. Why is this happening to me? ! I don't know, maybe it's my wound.

Monica: Forget it.

Billy: It's it's not healed yet? No no, it's ooozing, oozing. Could you pass me the cream? Is there any Uh, there's the cream. Thank you very much.

Billy: Thomas, this is gonna be hard, but I wanted it to come from me, and nobody else.

Robin: What is it, Tim? It's me, I've been sleeping with your wife.

Joey: So you're the gynecologist?

Billy: Hey, I'm trying to have a private conversation right?

Robin: Ooh, Can I have a napkin, please? Could you please hand me a napkin? Let me give me this thing! all right! ! Enough! And you are no longer my friend!

We are finished! Nada! ! No more! You are a bastard for doing this! ! Get away from me! ! Thomas, come back here!

Phoebe: So Monica, what were you gonna tell us?

Monica: I have no idea.

Rachel: So, come on, what was the big news Pete wanted to tell you Mon? ! Or should I say Mrs. Monica Becker?

Phoebe: No no no oh, keep your name, don't take his name.

Monica: He didn't ask me to marry him. Ohh. Well then definitely don't take his name.

Monica: He wanted to tell me he's going to compete is some ultimate fighting competition thingy.

The Guys: Pete? ! Why? ! What is it?

Monica: I don't know exactly. It's it's sorta like wrestling. Oh? ! Yeah, but without the brutal. Oh.

Chandler: Yeah, it's two guys in a ring, and the rules are: "There're are no rules."

Rachel: Which made a great 12 year old. Oh, it's the best year of my life.

Monica: You can like, bite, and pull people's hair and stuff? Yeah, anything goes, except ah, eye gouging and fish hooking.

Monica: What's fish hooking? What's fish hooking.Thanks man, that would've been really hard to describe. What is that taste?

Joey: What? My hands are totally clean, I just gave the duck a bath.

Doug: So thanks for the warm welcome. It's good to have you guys on my team, I come to play. I hope you do too.

Now, let's go out there and get 'em! Huh? And remember, there is no 'I' in team.

Chandler: Yes, but there's two in martini, soo everybody back to my office.

Doug: You! Chuckles! What's your name?

Chandler: Oh it's Bing, sir. I'm sorry, I was just ah. No no, I heard what you said, funny. I like funny.

This team is about hard work, but it's also about having fun. Good to have you aboard Bing!

Ross: That's right, Ryder. Wynona Ryder, for six. Thank you. Yeah, we have the reservations. Yes! !

Chandler: All right buddy, way to go!

Ross: Dude, what're you doing?

Chandler: Thank you! Today, my boss keep slapping my butt and he was acting like it was no big deal.

Phoebe: Yeesh, what'd you do about it?

Chandler: Well, I didn't do anything. I didn't wanna be the guy who has a problem with his boss slapping his bottom.

Monica: I gotta tell you, I think it's ok to be that guy.

Joey: Yeah, maybe it's like you know, that jock thing. You know how football players pat each other after a touchdown.

Rachel: You know I don't, I don't understand guys, I mean I I would never congratulate Monica on a great stew by you know, grabbing her boob.

Chandler: Yeah, I know, for a really great stew you just you know, stick your head in between 'em.

Monica: Ok, can we please go eat?

Joey: Yeah. What're we getting? Anything but stew.

Ross: All right so, Chandler, from now on, don't give your boss a chance to get you. You know just ah, don't turn your back to him.

Joey: Yeah, or you can teach him a lesson. You know? What you could do is you could rub something that really smells on your butt, all right?

Then, when he goes to smack ya, his hand will smell. Now what could you rub on your butt that would smell bad?

Chandler: What if Joey was President?

Phoebe: Umm, hey Rach, can I ask you something? Yeah.

Phoebe: Ok, you can totally say no, but umm, would it be ok with you if I set Ross up on a date?

Rachel: Oh. Ahhh, with who?

Phoebe: Umm, my friend, Bonnie. She just always thought Ross was really cute, and now that you two aren't together, she asked if I could set it up, but if you're not cool with it.

Rachel: Oh oh oh, which one is Bonnie again?

Phoebe: You remember her from my birthday party two years ago. She's yeah, like, average height, medium build, bald.

Rachel: Oh! That's fine.

Phoebe: Really? ! Come on, the bald girl? Absolutely.

Rachel: Great! Ok, good for you! Great!

Ho Chi: You are iron. You are steel! Let me ask you something, how come when I call your computer support line, I have to wait an hour and a half?

Pete: I told you, we're adding new operators all the time. Could we concentrate on my training?

Ho Chi: It's just hard when I know I have e mail I can't get!

Monica: Hi! Monica! Hi honey. All right, on the table, on the table.

Monica: Hey, umm, so listen umm, my friends were telling me a little about this ah, ultimate fighting thing and it, well it sounds really dangerous. I I don't want you to get hurt, 'cause I, I kinda like you.

Pete: Oh, believe me, I don't wanna get hurt either. I'm being smart about this. See these guys? They're the best trainers in the world, and Ho Chi here used to be a paid assassin.

A house painter! He used to be a house painter.

Monica: Promise me you'll be careful. I promise.

Monica: Hey, are we still on for tonight? Yeah. Ok, good, because umm, well, maybe we could have a little workout of our own.

Ho Chi: No! No boom boom before big fight!

Monica: How about just a boom?

Rachel: Well that was depressing, I think I just bought a soft pretzel from one of The Kids from Fame. Ready to go to the movies? Um hmm. Oh wait! This is Bonnie.

Bonnie: Hi! This is Bonnie? This is Bonnie? You're Bonnie?

Bonnie: I can show you an ID if you want?

Rachel: Oh no, I'm sorry, just, you look a lot different than the last time I I saw you.

Bonnie: Oh, yeah, well I just started wearing bras again.

Rachel: Oh, that must be it.

Phoebe: Well I hope you have fun tonight.

Bonnie: Thanks! You too. Ok.

Rachel: You said she was bald.

Phoebe: Yeah, she was bald, she's not now.

Rachel: How could you not tell me that she has hair?

Phoebe: I don't know, I hardly ever say that about people.

Rachel: Ohh, well, this is just perfect!

Phoebe: Well I'm sorry, I thought you said it was ok.

Rachel: Yeah, I said it was ok when I thought she was some weird bald chick. I mean, you know, that girl has hair got all over her head!

Phoebe: Well, maybe it won't work out. Maybe Ross won't like her personality. Why, did she have a bad personality? Oh no, Bonnie's the best!

Doug: Bing! Read your Computech proposal, real home run. Ooh. Barely got ya that time, get over here. Come on. Wham! Good one. Now that was a good one. Keep at it team.

Chandler: What is with him? With him? You're his favor, you're his guy!

Stevens: We never get smacked.

Chandler: Well, that's not true, he he smacked you once.

Phil: Not on purpose, he ricocheted of you and got me.

Stevens: I'm telling you, I need some smacks. I got a kid starting Dartmouth in the fall.

Doug: Dartmouth? Who went to Dartmouth? Dartmouth sucks. you gotta Dartmouth Bing? No sir.

Doug: There you go.

Ross: Hey! God Ross, what is that?

Ross: Yeah, it's the Ultimate Fighting Combo. Yeah, I saved thirty cents, plus I get to keep the cup. Yay! !

Announcer: From New York City, New York! Appearing in his Ultimate Fighting Championship debut! He's known for his confrontational business style.

Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing Pete Beck errrr! !

Monica: I love you, Pete! !!

Announcer: And his opponent, from Huntington Beach, California! He's a 300 pound street fighter, Tank Abbottttttt! !! !

Monica: Pete! Pete! ! That guy's pretty huge!