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Should we tell Rachel there's an empty private room right next door to hers?
我们该告诉瑞秋她隔壁就有一间单人待产室吗？
We could. Or we can have sex in it.
可以啊，或者我们可以在这里做爱。
Well, let me think about that while I remove my pants!
让我边脱裤子边想吧！
Okay, mister! Fertilize me!
好了，先生！为我播种吧！
Does that sound like Janice?
那是珍妮丝的声音吗？
If it's not, then there's two of them. And that would mean it's the end of the world!
如果不是她，那就是个很像她的人。而那表示世界末日到了！
I can't believe this is taking so long. How you doing?
我不敢相信要拖这么久，你还好吗？
Oh not bad. You know that feeling when you're trying to blow a Saint Bernard out your ass?
还不错。你知道想使劲把圣柏纳犬从屁股里拉出来的感觉吗？
Weirdest thing. Did I hear...? Mother of God, it's true!
真是太奇怪了。我好像听到……天啊，是真的！
Chandler Bing!
钱德勒·宾！
Jan Janice!
珍妮丝。
Not just Janice. Janice in labor. Contracting and everything.
不只是那样，珍妮丝要生了。她在经历阵痛什么的。
Oh, this should be easy. I have a very wide pelvis. You remember, Chandler.
生孩子对我来说很容易，我的骨盆很宽。你应该记得，钱德勒。
Janice, I didn't even know you were pregnant. Who's the unwitting human whose essence you've stolen?
珍妮丝，我都不知道你怀孕了。你偷走了哪个笨蛋的"精"华？
It's you. This is yours.
是你。这是你的孩子。
What?
什么？
Look how nervous he gets! We haven't slept together in years!
看他有多紧张！我们都好几年没上过床了！
That's funny. Does it does it hurt? Does the labor hurt?
那可真搞笑。会痛吗？生孩子会痛吗？
Okay, I've got one for you. If you had to, which would you rather eat? A Seeing Eye dog or a talking gorilla?
好吧，我想到一个。如果非吃不可，你要吃哪一个？千里眼的小狗还是会说话的猩猩？
I'd have to say the talking gorilla. Because at least I could explain to him that you're making me eat him.
我要选会说话的猩猩。因为至少我可以跟它解释是你逼我吃掉它的。
Oh. Somebody went to college. Wow. What is it? I'm sorry.
某人念过大学哦。怎么了？对不起。
No, I'm sorry. It's just my foot itches like crazy.
对不起，我的脚好痒。
Oh. I'll get it.
让我来吧。
Wow! I usually get to know a girl a little better before I let her spoon me.
通常我跟女人混熟之后才会让她用汤匙帮我搔痒。
Relax. It's not like we're forking.
别激动，我们又不是要用"插"子。
Oh, that's five, Ross. Five women have had five babies and I have had no babies. Why doesn't she want to come out?
这都第五个了，罗斯。五个女人生了五个孩子，而我还是没生。她为什么不肯出来？
You know what I think it is? I think you made such a nice home for her over the last nine months that she just doesn't want to leave.
你知道我在想什么吗？我想九个月来她在你的身体里住得很舒服，所以不想离开。
Look at you making up crap for me. Oh, God.
你甚至在瞎掰哄我。天啊。
Twenty one hours. You're a hero.
21个小时了。你简直是英雄。
Doctor you gotta do something! I gotta you gotta give me drugs or you gotta light a fire up in there and just smoke it out.
医生，你得想想办法，给我用药吧或是放火把她熏出来！
Actually, I think you're ready to go to the delivery room.
事实上，我想你可以进产房了。
What?
什么？
Dr. Long: Ten centimeters. You're about to become a mom.
开了10公分了，你快当妈妈了。
Oh my God. Ok. Ha ha ha beat you! Sucker!
天啊，好吧。打败你了，逊鬼！
Oh, my God! That's the doctor who was in my room before.
天啊，他就是刚刚来看过我的医生。
Okay, Mr. Percocet.
好吧，幻想先生。
I'm telling you, the guy from that show was here in my room asking me all these weird questions.
我跟你说，电视里的那个人刚刚来过，还问了我一堆怪问题。
Cliff, do you really believe that a character from a TV show was here in your room?
克利夫，你真的相信电视明星来过你的房间？
Rachel's having her baby!
瑞秋要生了！
That's him! You know him?
就是他！你认识他吗？
Ok. Ok. I Ok umm...this...I I sent my friend Joey in here to find out stuff about you.
好吧，我……好吧。我派我朋友乔伊来调查你。
Umm, if you know, if it helps you came off great. A lot better than I'm coming off right now.
如果有帮助的话……我们觉得你是个好人。比现在的我好多了。
I don't believe this. You you got him to pretend he was some fake doctor?
我不敢相信。你要他假扮医生？
Fake? Excuse me? Hello?
假扮？对不起？看这里。
And then you tried to make me think I was crazy?
你还要我以为自己疯了？
You're right, that was wrong. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It's just that I liked you so much. Can we just, can we just start over?
那样是不对的，我非常抱歉。那只是因为我非常喜欢你。我们能重新开始吗？
I don't think so.
我觉得不行。
Uh, if if I may? Umm umm look, Cliff, you told me a lot of personal stuff about you, right? And maybe maybe it would help if if you knew some personal stuff about her.
我可以说话吗？你跟我透露了很多你的私事。或许你应该知道一些关于她的私事。
Uh, she was married to a gay ice dancer. Uh, she gave birth to her brother's triplets. Oh! Oh! Oh! Her her twin sister used to do porn! Uh...
她曾跟男同志冰舞选手结婚。她帮她弟弟生下三胞胎。她的双胞胎姐姐曾是A片女优。
Joey, we're trying to dial down the crazy. Right.
乔伊，你简直是越抹越黑。 对。
Umm, look we don't, we don't really know each other so it would be really easy to just forget about this, but there seems to be something between us.
我们对彼此并不太了解，要忘记这次相遇很容易。但我们对彼此都有感觉。
And I don't know about you but that doesn't happen to me a lot.
我不知道你是怎么样，但我不常有这种奇妙邂逅。
It doesn't happen to me either. Me neither!
我也是。 我也是。
Push. Push. We're gonna push for five more seconds.
用力。你得再用力五秒。
Five, four... Three, two, one! Oh!
五、四…… 三、二、一！噢！
Ok, the next contraction should be in about twenty seconds.
下一次阵痛是20秒后。
I can't. I can't push anymore, I can't. Sweetie you're doing great.
我没办法再用力了。 你表现得很好。
Oh, God! Twenty seconds, my ass!
天啊！这根本就不到20秒嘛！
Here we go. Okay, keep pushing.
来吧，继续用力。
Come on, come on. Push. Wait.
加油。 用力，等一下。
I see something.
我看到了什么。
What, you do? You do? Oh, my God!
什么，真的吗？我的天啊！
Don't say, "Oh my God!" Oh my God what? What is that?
别说"我的天啊！" 我的天啊是什么？ 那是什么？
It's the baby's buttock, she's breech.
宝宝的屁股，她倒位了。
Oh thank God, I thought she had two heads. Oh, God!
我还以为她有两个头。 天啊！
Is she gonna be okay?
她没事吧？
She's gonna be fine. Okay.
她没事的。 好吧。
She's in a more difficult position so you're gonna have to push even harder now. Go! Push! Go! Go!
她的胎位不正，你得更加用力才行。就是那样，用力。 加油！加油！
Rachel, you're gonna have to push even harder. Nothing is happening.
瑞秋，你得更用力，还没有任何变化。
I'm sorry, I can't! I can't! Yes, you can. I know you can do this. Let's go.
抱歉，我办不到！ 不，我知道你办得到。加油。
I had no idea. Please, you do it for me!
我不知道咋办。拜托，帮我用力吧！
Let's go. One more time. One final push, ready? One, two, three.
来吧，再来一次。最后一次，准备好了吗？一、二、三。
Good.
很好。
Keep pushing!
继续用力！
Are you okay?
你没事吧？
You have no idea how much this hurts. Keep going! Keep going!
你不知道那有多痛。继续用力！
Here we go!
好了！
She's upside down but she's coming! She's coming!
宝宝胎位不正，但她要出来了！
Oh, God! Oh! Oh, my God!
天啊！ 我的天啊！
Oh, my God, she's here.
天啊，她出来了。
Oh, she's perfect.
她太完美了。
Oh, wow! Oh, she's so tiny. Where'd she go?
哇，她好小啊。她要去哪里？
They're just they're just wrapping her up.
他们得先把她包起来。
Okay. Well, be careful with her, she's really tiny.
好吧，小心一点，她真的很小。
Here she is.
宝宝来喽。
Oh hey you. Oh. Thanks for coming out of me.
你好呀。谢谢你终于出来了。
I know. Oh. Yeah. Oh, she's looking at me. Hi! I know you.
我知道。她在看我。嗨，我认识你。
Do we have a name yet? No, not yet.
你们取好名字了吗？ 还没有。
That's fine. For now we'll just call her Baby Girl Greene.
没关系，先叫她格林之女。
Oh, no. Baby Girl Geller Greene.
不，盖勒·格林之女。
Hello, Baby Girl.
你好，小姑娘。
Can we come in? Oh, come on in.
我们能进去吗？ 请进。
Oh, there she is. Oh, she's so beautiful.
她在那里。 她好漂亮。
Here.
来吧。
