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I'm going out tonight, I'm feelin' alright. Gonna let it all hang out
今晚我要出去，心情大好，我要好好爽一下
Wanna make some noise, really raise my voice
放声歌唱，升三个八度
Yeah, I wanna scream and shout
耶，我要大唱大叫
De-de-de, de-de-de-de-de, uh
滴滴啦啦
No.. Morning, Sheldon. Come dance with me.
不，早安，谢尔顿，和我一起跳舞吧
No.
不要
Why not?
干嘛不要
Penny, while I subscribe to the "many worlds" theory which pots the existence Of an infinite number of sheldons in an infinite number of universes,
佩妮，我支持"多个世界"理论这个理论表明在无限个宇宙中存在着无限个谢尔顿
I assure you that in none of them am I dancing.
我向你保证其中没一个"我"是在跳舞的
Are you fun in any of them?
那这些"你"里有没有幽默一点的
The math would suggest that in a few I'm a clown made of candy.
根据推算其中有几个"我"是糖娃娃
But I don't dance.
但是绝不跳舞
Alright, want some French toast?
行吧，来点法式吐司不
It's oatmeal day.
今天是燕麦粥日
Tell you what, next French toast day, I'll make you oatmeal.
这样吧，下个法式吐司日，我给你煮燕麦粥
Dear lord, are you still going to be here on French toast day?
神啊，你还要在这赖到法式吐司日啊
Morning.
早啊
Look, Leonard,
莱纳德，你看啊
Penny made French toast.
佩妮烤了法式吐司
Sorry I haven't given her your schedule yet.
抱歉我还没给她你的用餐日程表
It's an iCal download. She can put it right in her phone.
那是个iCal(Apple电子日程表)下载啊。她可以直接下到手机里的
And I thought we agreed that you'd have your conjugal visits in her apartment.
而且我想咱们说好了的你们只在她那儿行房事
We did, but there were extenuating circumstances.
是说好了，但是现在是特殊情况
I see.
我明白了
Did her abysmal housekeeping skills
她浑身的傻气
Finally trump her perkiness?
终于被她那盖世的家务活能力打压下去了是吗
No, her bed kind of... Broke.
不，是她的床有点散架了
That doesn't seem likely her bed's of sturdy construction.
这是不太可能的她的床的构造很结实
Even the addition of a second Normal size human being wouldn't cause a structural failure, Much less a homunculus such as yourself.
就算多承重一个正常体型的人类也不会引致其床架松动的更别提像你这样的小雏形人了
A homunculus?
小雏形人
Perfectly formed miniature human being.
功能健全的迷你型人类
Oh, you're my little homunculus.
你这我的小宝贝雏形人
Don't do that.
别这样
Sorry. Okay, who wants syrup and who wants cinnamon sugar?
抱歉 好啦，谁要普通糖浆谁要肉桂糖浆呀
I want oatmeal.
我要燕麦粥
Yes, well
行啊
I want a boyfriend whose roommate isn't a giant pain in the ass.
我想要个室友不是大混蛋的男朋友
I'm sure that will happen soon enough.
这个愿望很快就能实现了
But in the meantime, I still want oatmeal.
但我还是要燕麦粥
You know what, I give up.
得了，我投降
He's impossible.
怎么会有他这种人
I can't be impossible, I exist.
怎么会没有，我就是存在的
I believe what you meant to say is,
我相信你想说的是
"I give up, he's improbable."
"我投降，这种人几乎是不存在的"
Sheldon, you really need to find a better way of dealing with penny.
谢尔顿，你真得换个方式和佩妮相处了
What am I supposed to do--
那我该怎么做
Eat french toast on a Monday?
在礼拜一吃法式吐司吗
Now, that would be impossible.
这种情况才是不存在的
I'm just saying, you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar
我只是说，你想抓苍蝇的话得用蜂蜜而不是醋
You can catch even more flies with manure. What's your point?
你用粪粪还能抓更多呢。你到底想说什么
It's a...
这个...
Boy, that does smell good.
天，还挺香的呢
Too bad it's Monday.
太遗憾了，今儿就是礼拜一
Okay, Kim the night manager went on maternity leave
我们经理基姆去休产假了
And her husband's name is Sandy, right?
她老公叫桑迪
So get this--
然后
Her replacement is a woman named Sandy
顶她班的是一个叫桑迪的女人
Whose husband's name is Kim.
而她老公叫基姆
- Wow!，- I know!
-哇啊，-是啊
What are the odds?
这什么概率哦
Easily calculable. We begin by identifying a set of married couples with unisex names.
很好算嘛，先找到几对双方都取中性名字的已婚夫妇
We then eliminate those unqualified
然后剔除那些不适合
For restaurant work-- the aged, the imprisoned and the limbless, for example, - Next we look at... - Sheldon--
从事餐饮工作的比如说年老的，坐牢的，残疾的，-再然后就，-谢尔顿
It's an amazing coincidence.
这是一个奇妙的巧合
Can we leave it at that?
就这样了行吗
I'm sorry.
对不起
Ooh, Penny. It's as if the cheese-cake factory is run by witches.
喔佩妮，你们奶酪蛋糕工厂就好像是巫婆们开的
Ooh, Sheldon, it's as if you don't think I'll punch you.
喔谢尔顿，别以为我不会揍你
Come on, you guys, let it go.
行啦，你俩，别吵了
Fine, whatever.
哼，随便吧
Are you finished?
你吃完了吗
Well, thank you.
谢了
How thoughtful.
多么体贴
Would you like a chocolate?
你要吃巧克力吗
Um, yeah, sure.
好啊
Thanks.
多谢啦
What was that?
这算什么
You said be nice to Penny.
你让我对佩妮好点的
I believe offering chocolate to someone
我觉得给别人喂巧克力
Falls within the definition of nice.
能够符合"好"的定义
It does.
没错
But in my experience, you don't.
但就我观察，你这人不符合
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy
何瑞修，宇宙间无奇不有不是你的哲学全能梦想得到的(第一幕;第五景)
Now that's you obnoxious and insufferable.
这才是你嘛。讨厌而且让人难以忍受
What's going on, day dwellers?
日居者们，你们好啊
Oh, man, did the kiss army repeal "don't ask, don't tell"?
KISS(美重金属乐队)粉丝团也废除了"不许问不许说"(美军处理同性恋旧政策)吗
No.
不是
Raj and I are going to a goth club in Hollywood to hang with the night people.
我和拉杰要去好莱坞的哥特夜总会和夜猫子一起玩儿
Anybody want to come along?
有人想一起去吗
Oh, wow, you're actually going out like that?
你真要这样上街吗
No, no.
I'm going out like this...不不我要这样上街
Howard, what did you do?
霍华德，你做了些什么
They're called tattoo sleeves. Look.
这叫纹身袖。看
I go them online! Raj got a set, too..
我在网上买的，拉杰也买了一身
Fantastic, right?
帅死了，是吧
Put them on, have hot sex with some freaky girl With her business pierced, take them off, I can still be buried in a jewish cemetery.
穿上它，就能和前卫女孩发生韵事，脱下他，我依旧是个恪礼守节的犹太人
You know, I've always wanted to go to a goth nightclub.
知道吗？我一直都想去哥特夜总会
Really?
真的吗
Bazinga!
才怪呢
None of you ever see my practical jokes coming, do you?
没有人能察觉到我的玩笑，对吧
Okay, how about you two? Look, I've got some extra tatoo sleeves.
你们俩去吗？我还带了几个纹身袖
Why are you carrying extras? In case I snag one on someone's nipple ring.
你带那么多干什么？万一被哪个女人的乳环刮破了好有个替换呀
Uh, yeah, I think we'll pass.
我们就不去了
Oh, is the missus speaking for the couple now?
你现在就得"妻管严"了吗
In this case, you bet she is.
这件事，肯定她说了算
Yes, she's pushy, and yes, he's whipped,
是啊，她很强势，他受压迫
But that's not the expression.
但是不能这么说
Come on, I want to stop at walgreens And pick up some more eyeliner.
快走，我要去沃尔格林药店再多买几支眼线笔
They're gonna get beaten up at that club.
他们在夜总会要被揍了
They're gonna get beaten up at walgreens.
我看他们在药店就会被揍
Oh, sorry, Sheldon. I almost sat in your spot.
抱歉，谢尔顿我差点坐在你的专座上
Did you? I didn't notice.
是吗，我都没注意
Have a chocolate.
给你块巧克力吧
Thank you.
谢谢
I think we're fitting quite nicely.
我觉得我们很适合这里
It did help if you weren't drinking light beer.
要是你不喝低度啤酒就更好了
What's so gothic about vodka and cranberry juice?
喝伏特加和蔓越莓果汁就显得比我更有哥特风格吗
Hello? It looks like blood.
是啊，这看起来像在饮血
Did you even read the "wiki how" link I sent you on being goth?
你没去看我发给你的手把手学哥特风格的WikiHow链接吗
No, I'm behind on my wiki-reading.
没，我自己的东西还看不玩呢
I'm kind of on a John Grisham kick right now.
我正在读约翰·格里沙姆(法律惊悚小说《掮客》作者)
What? I finished reading The Pelican Brief And loved it so much, I dived right into the client.
什么？我看完了《绝对机密》，我太喜欢了，已经完全身临其境了
He was a lawyer himself,
他本身就是个律师
So his novels are accurate as well as entertaining.
所以他的小说内容的准确性和娱乐性都很强
Just remember we are lost boys, children of the night.
要记住，我们是浪荡子，暗夜之子
Great. Lost boys, children of the night.
好的， 浪荡子，暗夜之子
Got it.
明白了
Can you pass the chex mix please?
能帮忙把小吃递过来吗
Thank you.
谢谢
We are lost boys.
我们是浪荡子
Good for you.
是吗
I'm actually much more lost than he is.
其实我比他更放浪
Nice ink.
纹身不错
Thanks.
谢谢
Can we buy you ladies a drink?
能请两位小姐喝点东西吗
Two light beers.
两杯低度啤酒
Light beers. "Wiki how" about that?
低度啤酒吗，"WiliHow"该把这个写进去
What's your names?
你们叫什么
I'm Howard. Raj. I'm Bethany.
-我叫霍华德，拉杰，-我是贝萨妮
Nice to meet you, Bethany.
很高兴见到你， 贝萨妮
Yes, very nice.
很高兴
Nice to meet you, too.
我也是
I'm Sarah.
我叫莎拉
Not that anyone cares.
反正也没人关心
Do either of you ladies enjoy the novels of John Grisham?
两位小姐喜欢看约翰·格里沙姆的小说吗
What's this cartoon called again?
这动画片叫什么来着
Oshikuru: Demon samurai.
恶魔武士
Demon it's not a cartoon.
恶魔武士不是动画片
It'anime.
是动漫
Anime.
动漫
You know, I knew a girl in high school named Anna May.
高中时有个女生叫安娜·梅(Anime和Anna May谐音)
Anna May Fletcher.
安娜·梅·弗莱彻
She was born with one nostril.
她天生单鼻孔
Then she had this bad nose job and basically wound up with three
她后来的整鼻手术很失败最后竟然弄成了三个鼻孔
You're here a lot now.
你现在经常混在这儿了
Oh, am I talking too much? I'm sorry. Zip.
我话太多了吗？抱歉，我不说了
Thank you.
谢谢
Chocolate?
吃块巧克力吧
Yes please.
好的
Oh. Hey, Kim.
基姆 你好
You know what,hold on. Let me take this in the hall.
请你稍等一下我到楼道里去接电话
You'll never guess who they got to replace you at work.
你绝对想不到他们找谁来接替你的工作
