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I must say, Penny, this is great fun.
我不得不说 佩妮 这真有意思
Glad you're enjoying yourself.
很高兴你玩得这么嗨
Until I met you and Bernadette, my trips to the bathroom had been entirely focused on elimination. Now they have a delightful social aspect.
认识你和伯纳黛特前 我的洗手间之旅只有排泄这一个主题 现在又多了社交功能
Amy, you must've been in the bathroom with other women before.
艾米 你之前肯定跟别的女生一起上过卫生间吧
Of course I have. But they were strangers and seemed off-put when I engaged in friendly stall-to-stall chit-chat.
当然咯 但之前都是陌生人 而且在我跟她们隔着小间闲聊时都很不高兴
Some women don't like to get chummy when their panties are down.
有些女生不喜欢在没穿内裤时被人套近乎
You okay in there, bestie?
你在里面没事吧 闺蜜
I'm fine...
我没事
The reason I ask is that many people experience bladder shyness; the inability to pass uri...
我这么问你是因为很多人都会“膀胱羞涩” 就是在聊天的时候没法小...
Yeah, I said I'm fine. Stop talking to me.
喂 我说了我没事了 住嘴吧
She always this crabby when she urinates?
她小便的时候总是这么凶吗
We're really not that close.
其实我俩没那么铁
Screw it. I'll go later.
去他娘的 待会儿再说吧
And I'll be right by your side.
那我待会儿还来陪你
Did I tell you Priya invited me and Howard to have dinner with her and Leonard?
我有没有跟你说过普丽娅邀请了我和霍华德去跟她和莱纳德一起吃饭
Oh, that's nice.
哦 不错啊
No, it's not. It's a strategic maneuver. Leonard's new girlfriend is testing Bernadette's loyalty to you and the group. That bitch is crafty.
非也非也 她在耍花招 莱纳德的新女友在检验伯纳黛特对你和咱们的忠心呢 那个贱人真狡猾啊
You think?
真的吗
Of course. How does the cheetah attack a herd of wildebeests? By going after its weakest member.
当然 猎豹是怎么对付牛羚群的 追杀最弱小的成员
Well, what makes me the weakest member?
为啥我是最弱小的
Your trusting nature coupled with your teeny-tiny body. You wouldn't last a minute on the Serengeti.
因为你总轻信别人 而且身材瘦小 你要是在塞伦盖蒂连一分钟都撑不到 （塞伦盖蒂 非洲着名自然保护区）
Okay, Amy, you're being silly. I'm not concerned about who hangs out with who. And I certainly don't have a problem with Leonard's new girlfriend who wears way too much makeup.
好吧 艾米 你这是在犯傻 谁跟谁一起吃饭我才不在乎呢 而且我肯定对莱纳德那个 总是化妆太浓的新女友没啥意见
Ooh, these are cute.
呜 这鞋好漂亮
Of course if I buy them, I'll have to rent my womb out to a gay couple.
当然我要是买下的话 我就得给同性恋夫妇当代孕妈妈了
It doesn't matter. I'm going to tell her we can't make it.
无所谓了 我跟她说我去不了
Oh, no. You have to go.
不行 你一定要去
I don't understand. I thought I was a teeny-tiny wildebeest.
我不懂了 我以为我是那只瘦小的牛羚
You are—with hair that smells like strawberries. And we're going to use that to our advantage.
没错 而且你还在用草莓香味的香波 我们要充分利用这一点
Wait. What are you talking about?
打住 你到底在说什么
By accepting the invitation, Bernadette becomes a double agent inside the enemy camp. She could ferret out Priya's tactics, identify her weaknesses and feed her false information, such as: Leonard's no stranger to back-alley cockfights.
只要接受了邀请 伯纳黛特就成了敌营里的双面间谍 她可以洞悉普丽娅的诡计找到她的弱点 并能提供假情报 比如莱纳德是地下斗鸡比赛的常客
I don't know. I'm not a very good liar. They kind of whup that out of you in Catholic school.
不知道啊 我不怎么会撒谎的 在天主学校时就被罚得不敢撒谎了
Don't worry. I'll teach you. I did two years of Cub Scouts before they found out I was a girl.
别担心 我来教你 我在童子军里待了两年都没让他们发现我是女生
Okay, I don't know you people. I'm just an innocent woman wondering if this shoe store will take my Texaco card.
好吧 我不认识你们我只是个天真的女生 不知这家鞋店能否用德士古加油卡
How do you feel about concealing a recording device in the cleavage of your ample bosom?
你觉得在你的双峰之间藏一个录音设备怎么样
I don't want anything in my ample bosom.
我双峰之间容不下任何东西
Come on, Strawberries. Take one for the team.
来嘛 小草莓 为咱们牺牲一下呗
Okay, see you later.
好 待会儿见
Good news. I finally have a handle on my idea for three-person chess.
好消息 我终于设计出了三人象棋
That is good news. Bye.
确实是好消息 拜拜
Uh, do you know how I solved the balanced center combat-area problem? Five words: transitional quadrilateral to triangular tessellation.
你知道我是怎么解决交战区域中心对称这个问题的吗 很简单 四边形向三角形的过渡镶嵌
That... that's brilliant.
这 这个很赞
It's what I do. But wait, there's more. I also invented two new chess pieces. The serpent... and the old woman.
我就说嘛 等下 还有哈 我还发明了两个新棋子 毒蛇和老妇
Okay, now I have to ask. What do they do?
好吧 现在我非得问了 这俩怎么玩
When the serpent slithers to an opposing player's piece, that piece is considered poisoned and will die after two more moves.
当毒蛇经过对方的棋子时 那个棋子就算中毒了 再走两步之后就会死掉
All right.
好吧
Unless... it gets to the old woman in time, in which case she sucks out the poison, turning her into the Grand Empress: a piece combining the power of the Knight, Queen and Serpent.
除非 它能及时赶到老妇身边 这样的话她就能吸出毒液并且自己变成太后 老妇同时集合了马 后和毒蛇三者的功效
Elegant.
妙极了
That's because it's simple.
那是因为简单才妙
Okay, well, I look forward to playing with you.
好 很期待和你杀一局哦
And...
还有
And what?
还有啥
And a third person. It's three-person chess.
第三个人啊 这是三人象棋嘛
I must say, ever since you started having regular intercourse, your mind has lost its keen edge. You should reflect on that.
我不得不说 自从你开始定期交媾之后 你的脑子就没那么好使了 你应该采取点儿措施的
Excuse me, but Einstein had a pretty busy sex life.
抱歉 可爱因斯坦性生活也很频繁啊
Yes, and he never unified gravity with the other forces. If he hadn't been such a hound dog, we'd all have time machines.
所以他没能把引力和其它力统一起来 他要是不这么乱搞 我们早就有时光机器了
Got it. Bye.
知道了 拜
You know I'm right.
你知道哥是对的
I think he's getting worse.
他的病情又加重了
Oh, my metatarsal are barking.
嗷 我的跖骨在哀嚎
You okay?
你还好吗
Yeah, yeah.I'm just breaking in some new shoes.
没事 我只是穿了双新鞋而已
Very pretty.
很漂亮
Thank you. Did you know that women wear high heels to make the buttocks and breasts more prominent?
谢谢 你知道女人穿高跟鞋是为了更加前凸后翘吗
Hadn't really thought about it.
还真没这么想过
Look.
瞧
Uh, sure. Very... prominent.
呃 没错 相当...翘
Please, Leonard, don't leer, you have a girlfriend.
拜托 莱纳德 别乱瞟了 你有女友了
Sorry.
抱歉
So, are you off to dinner with Priya, Howard and Bernadette?
你要和普丽娅 霍华德 伯纳黛特共进晚餐吗
Yeah. How did you know?
是啊 你怎么知道的
I heard it at the mall, when I was shopping with my girlfriends, 'cause, you know, that's kind of my life now. Have a good night. Try not to ogle my caboose as I walk away.
我在商场听说的 当时正和闺蜜们一起血拼 这基本上就是我现在的生活状态了 祝你有愉快的一晚 我转身离开时 尽量别偷瞄我的翘臀
Hey, Raj, will you be joining us for dinner?
拉杰 你要和我们共进晚餐吗
The lonely guy and the two happy couples? I'd rather get a prostate exam from a leper who walks away with nine fingers.
孤家寡人跟两对甜蜜鸳鸯掺和吗 我还不如找个猥琐男 帮我做前列腺检查直到他断指呢
Oh, would you please stop feeling sorry for yourself?
你能不能不要顾影自怜了
I have to feel sorry for myself. I'm the only one who cares. Just like I'm the only one who'll have sex with me.
我也是迫于无奈 因为我是唯一关心自己的人 就像我是唯一愿意和自己做爱的人一样
Really? In front of your sister?
你怎么能在你妹妹面前说这种话
We shared a room growing up. This is not news to me.
我们从小住在一个房间 我都听习惯了
Excuse me. I'm going to go wander the streets alone. Invisible, unwanted and unloved. A pathetic shadow in a city with no heart. I forgot my windbreaker. It'chilly.
失陪了 我要去街上独自闲逛一会 无人关注 无人需要 无人爱怜 都市里的一剪孤影 无牵无挂 我忘穿防风夹克了 外面怪冷的
I don't understand. Is this a way to break in new shoes?
我就不明白了 新鞋就这样穿的吗
No. Once these puppies touch the ground they're mine, and I'll have to wear them walking up and down Hollywood Boulevard in order to pay them off.
不 但这对小宝贝一旦沾地就属于我了 我就要穿着它们在好莱坞大道徘徊 好让它们物有所值
Pretty, pretty, pretty.
美啦 美啦 美啦
Good news: the wildebeest is in the curry.
好消息 牛羚到达印度人家了
The what?
神马
Bernadette is with Priya and Leonard. Message received. Commence operation "Priya Wouldn't Wanna Be-ya."
伯纳黛特同普丽娅和莱纳德碰面了 短信已收到 启动“普丽娅不想步你后尘”行动
Hey. Seriously? Didn't you get enough of this cliquey crap in high school?
你不至于吧 你高中没玩够这种小团体把戏吗
I wish. A clique requires friends. I didn't have any.
我倒也想 但组小团体是需要朋友的 而我却没有
None?
一个都没有吗
I used to take my lunch down to the maintenance room and eat with the janitor. It was nice until his wife called me a puta and made me stop. Hang on. It's the wildebeest. Priya just made a snide comment about your acting career.
我以前会把午餐带到保全室和清洁工一起吃 那种感觉很好 直到他老婆骂我“贱货”将我拒之门外 等等 是牛羚发来的 普丽娅刚刚挖苦了一番你的演艺事业
W-What the hell did she say?
她都说什么了
She thinks it's cool you're following your dream, no matter what.
她认为 了不起的是你勇于追梦 不管这有多难
That bitch!
贱人!
How do you want to handle it?
你想怎么应对
Um, okay. Tell Bernadette to tell Priya that I'm on my way to Prague to shoot a movie with Angelina Jolie.
呃 好吧 让伯纳黛特告诉普丽娅我在去布拉格的路上 准备去和安吉丽娜·朱莉拍电影
Got it. Is it going to be in 3-D?
明白 是3D电影吗
What? I don't know. It doesn't matter.
什么 无所谓 这个不重要
I'm gonna say 3-D. That'll let her know the studio has faith in it.
还是说3D电影吧 可以让她知道制片方对电影很有信心
You're kidding. 3-D?
开什么玩笑 竟然是3D的
That's what I hear.
听说是这样的
Then the studio must have real faith in it.
那制片方一定对电影很有信心
Wonder why she didn't tell me.
她为什么没告诉我呢
Have you been spending time with your ex-girlfriend?
你最近经常和你的前女友接触吗
No...
没有
Then why are you surprised she didn't tell you?
那她没告诉你有什么好奇怪的
Well, it's not as much "surprised" as... you know... uh... the other thing.
与其说是“奇怪” 不如说是另一种感觉
What other thing?
什么感觉
Well, if you... uh... I don't... oh... What's the word I'm looking for?
如果你 呃 我不 我想说的是哪个词来着
I'm not going to help you. This is hilarious.
我不会帮你的 看你的囧样太欢乐了
She's also dating an astronaut.
她还在和宇航员谈恋爱
Wow. That's very impressive.
哇哦 这么厉害啊
Yeah. But Leonard's impressive, too.
是啊 但莱纳德也很厉害啊
Thank you. "Befuddled." The word I was looking for was "befuddled."
谢谢 糊涂 “糊涂”这个词很合适
