Hey, do me a favor and take Table Seven.
嗨 帮我个忙 去七号桌点菜吧
You mean the one with my 118-pound rock-hard stud of a fiance who's prone to canker sores and pinkeye?
你是说有我那个118磅重的性欲旺盛的最近可能得了口腔溃疡和红眼病的未婚夫的那桌吗
Nah, I prefer to look at it as the one with my ex-boyfriend and his gorgeous, successful and sophisticated girlfriend, who makes me feel like a toothless Okie.
不对 我更愿意看作是有我的前男友和她那美丽成功而知性的女友的那桌 那女孩让我觉得自己就像个没用的乡巴佬
Do you want me to spill hot soup on her?
你想让我往她身上洒热汤吗
Oh, please—you're not that kind of person.
拜托 你不是那种人
I know. But if she orders something low-fat , I'll totally give her the full-fat version.
我知道 但如果她点了低脂食物的话 我绝对可以给她端上全脂的
Uh, that's my water.
这杯水是我的
What?
什么
My water. You're drinking it.
我的水 你喝的是我的水
D-Dear Lord! Have you been drinking it?
苍天啊 你喝过吗
Yes. It's my water.
肯定啊 都说了是我的水了
Well, that's it then. I'm dead.
那完蛋了 我死翘翘了
Here we go...
又来了
I'm sorry, do I really need to connect the dots for you? The backwash into this glass is every pathogen that calls your mouth home, sweet home.Not to mention the visitors who arrive on the dancing tongue of your subtropical girlfriend.
不好意思 但非得让我把话挑明了吗 流回到这个杯子里的 是在你那所谓温暖的家的嘴里待过的每一个病原体 更别提那些来自你那次大陆女友的舌头上的外来病原体了
Hey! That's my sister and my country you're talking about. Leonard may have defiled one, but I won't have you talking smack about the other.
喂 你这是在诋毁 我妹妹和我的祖国 莱纳德也许玷污了其中一个 但我绝对不允许你再侮辱另外一个
You guys ready to order?
你们准备好点菜了吗
Yes, I'd like a seven-day course of penicillin, some, uh, syrup of ipecac—to induce vomiting. And a mint.
准备好了 我要七天疗程的青霉素 一定量的吐根糖浆 催吐用的 再来颗薄荷糖
I don't understand.
我没听明白
He drank from Leonard's glass.
他喝了莱纳德杯子里的水
"He drank from Leonard's glass" the words they'll be carving into my tombstone.
“他喝了莱纳德杯子里的水” 这句话得刻在我的墓碑上
That's actually my napkin.
这餐巾其实也是我的
Oh, this is a nightmare!
坑死爹了
Where are you going?
你要去哪儿
To the bar, to sterilize my mouth with alcohol. Gang way! Dead man walking!
去酒吧 用酒精给口腔消毒 快让开 行尸走肉来了
All right. Here you go. Two lemonades, one iced tea and a root beer for Priya.
好的 拿好了 两杯柠檬汽水 一杯冰茶 还有普丽娅的一杯根汁汽水
Is it diet?
是无糖的吗
That's what you ordered.
这就是你点的
Thank you. Hey, have you and Howard started planning your wedding yet?
谢谢 嗨 你和霍华德开始计划婚礼了吗
Yeah. We're thinking of having it on a cliff overlooking the ocean.
嗯 我们想在一个能俯视大海的悬崖上办婚礼
Nothing soothes those pre-wedding jitters like the thought of falling and drowning.
没什么能比担心摔下去溺死更能缓解婚礼前的紧张了
What did your mother say when you told her you were getting married?
你跟你妈妈说你俩要结婚的时候 她说啥了吗
He hasn't told her yet. He's waiting for the right time.
他还没跟他妈妈说 他在等合适的时机
I was thinking of weaving it into her eulogy.
其实我想把这事儿编进悼词里
Howard, you've got to tell your mother.
霍华德 你必须告诉你妈妈
Hey, have you told your parents you're dating this short glass of skim milk here?
喂 你跟你爸妈说了你在跟这一小杯“脱脂牛奶”约会吗
Uh... that's different. First of all, we're not engaged; and second, Indian parents are very protective of their children.
呃 这不一样 首先 我们还没订婚 其次 印度父母 都对孩子很不放心的
Right, right, whereas Jewish mothers take a casual, la-di-da approach to their sons.
是啊是啊 而犹太母亲一般都任自己的儿子自生自灭的
I gargled with tequila and may have swallowed a teeny bit.
我在用龙舌兰酒漱口的时候貌似咽下了一点点
You all right?
你没事吧
Fine. Thank you for asking. I love you so much.
没事 多谢关心 我好爱你哦
Fire demon.
火魔
Ooh, fire demon. Sheldon's turning up the heat...
哇 火魔 谢尔顿开始引爆游戏热度了
Troll master.
巨怪首领
Check it! Howard pulls one out from under the bridge. Nice!
看啊 霍华德从流氓团伙里拽出了一只巨怪首领 漂亮
Water nymph.
水仙女
Oh, yeah, she's got puddles in all the right places.
哦也 她的“那个地方”充满了粘液
Could you please play the game without commenting on every card?
劳驾您能在打牌的时候 别老是打一张解说一句吗
Sorry.
抱歉
Walking tree.
树怪
Last one. I'm taking a stroll and I'm sporting wood.
下不为例 我是运动的树 我在散步
Okay, the Eagle has landed.
好吧 终于还是发生了
What's going on?
怎么了
Bernadette and my mother are having a get-to-know-you lunch at the Old Town Deli.
伯纳黛特和我妈妈正在老镇餐厅第一次共进午餐
Oh, that sounds lovely.
听起来不错啊
Hope so. Of course, if history is any indication, my mother will swallow her whole and spit out her bones like an owl.
但愿如此 当然 根据以往的经验 我老妈会把她囫囵吞了 然后像猫头鹰一样把骨头吐出来
Have you met Bernadette's parents?
你见过伯纳黛特的父母了吗
You mean Adolf and Eva? Not yet. One goose step at a time.
你是说希特勒和爱娃吗 还没呢 一步一步来嘛
Sheldon, that's my water.
谢尔顿 这杯水是我的
Oh, dear Lord! That's not your water.
苍天啊 那杯水不是你的
I know.
我知道
Where's the mouthwash?! "Where" indeed.
我的漱口液在哪儿呢 在哪儿呢
Ma, I'm home! Where are you?
妈 我回来了 你在哪
I'm in the toilet!
我在厕所
So, how'd it go?!
进行得怎么样
Too soon to say! I'm not done yet!
现在还说不准呢 我还没拉完呢
No, I mean lunch, today, with Bernadette!
我是说你跟伯纳黛特的午饭吃的怎么样
I had a pastrami sandwich. She had eggplant lasagna. Like that's what a person orders in a Jewish deli.
我吃了个五香熏肉三明治 她吃了个茄子肉酱千层面 就好像在犹太餐馆就该点这种东西吃
Besides food, did you get along? Did you talk?
除了吃的以外呢 你们相处得怎么样 你们聊天了吗
Oh, sure! Did you know she's going to school to become a microbiologist?!
当然了 你知道吗 她正在读微生物学呢
No, she never mentioned it.
不知道 她还真没提过
I bet she did and you didn't listen!
她肯定提过 是你没注意听
Yeah, that's probably it. So, what do you think? Do you like her? She's great, huh?
没准吧 那你觉得她怎么样 你喜欢她吗 她是个好女孩对吧
She's a lovely girl! Cute as a button!
她是个挺可爱的 超级可爱
That's good to hear, 'cause I've got some news.
听你这么说我就放心了 因为我有事要跟你说
I hope it's good news, because I've got nothing but disappointment in here!
最好是好事 因为我在厕所里进展可不怎么样 都快郁闷死了
Bernadette and I are getting married. Ma? You too busy bearing down? Ma? Oh, my God, Ma? Ma? Ma? Stand back, I'm gonna break the door down! Son of a bitch! Ma, help!
我要跟伯纳黛特结婚了 妈 你正忙着使劲呢吗 妈 天啊 妈 妈 妈 退后点 我要撞门了 该死的 妈 救我
Hey. Hello. Haven't seen you in a while. How's it going?
你好 好久不见了 你最近咋样啊
Oh, other than waiting out the exponential growth period of the virulent organisms trooping through my microvilli into my circulatory system—hunky-dory.
除了等着那些致命的有机物沿着我的绒毛组织 侵入我的血液循环系统外就没啥特别的了
Did I say something amusing?
很好笑吗
I don't know, maybe, I have no idea what you said.
不知道 也许吧 我完全没听懂你在说什么
So your mirth is merely a discharge of nervous energy with no semantic content at all?
这么说你刚才的欢笑声只是为了释放你的紧张情绪 没有任何实际意义咯
My mirth. Classic.
我的欢笑声 还真是谢尔顿的经典语录啊
Is there a station coming up where I can board your giggling train of thought?
我啥时候才能理解你这些奇怪的笑声呀
It's not a big deal, Sheldon.
这没啥大不了的 谢尔顿
It's just, ever since Leonard's been dating Raj's sister, I've had to keep my distance. I don't get to hear all your jibber-jabber.
只是 自从莱纳德跟拉杰的妹妹在一起之后 我就得跟你们保持距离了 我就没机会听你的这些胡言乱语了
Jibber-jabber?! I don't jibber-jabber.
胡言乱语 我才不会胡言乱语呢
What are you doing at work these days?
你这段时间上班都忙什么呢
Oh, I'm working on time-dependent backgrounds in string theory, specifically quantum field theory in "d-dimensional" de Sitter space.
我在研究弦理论的时间依赖性 尤其是量子场论在德西特时空d维空间中的应用
Okay, come on, even you have to admit that's jibber-jabber.
拜托 这下你总得承认那是胡言乱语了吧
Interesting, do you know where the phrase "jibber-jabber" comes from?
有意思 你知不知道 胡言乱语这个词是怎么来的
Oh, my God, you're about to jibber-jabber about jibber-jabber.
天啊 你就要说一堆关于胡言乱语的胡言乱语了
Howard and his mother are at the hospital. Come on, we gotta go.
霍华德和他妈进医院了 快点 咱们走
Oh, my God! What happened?
天啊 出什么事了
I don't know, I just got a text. Come on, hurry.
不知道 我只是收到短信而已 快点 快走
Okay.
好吧
Sheldon, let's go!
谢尔顿 走啦
To a hospital?! Full of sick people?! Oh, I don't think so.
去医院吗 那个满是病人的地方 我才不去呢
Okay, well, your friend and his mother are there, we're going.
你朋友和他母亲都进医院了 你非去不可
I can't.
我不要
Oh, don't tell me you're afraid of germs.
别跟我说你怕细菌啊
Not all germs. Just the ones that will kill me.It's the same way I'm not afraid of all steak knives—just the ones that might be plunged in my thorax.
不是所有的细菌 我只怕那些会让我病死的细菌 就像是我并不是害怕所有的餐刀 我只怕那些会捅死我的餐刀
Fine, I'll tell Howard you didn't come because you're more concerned about your own well-being than his.
好吧 那我就跟霍华德说 你没去医院是因为比起他的健康 你更担心你自己的身体
I would think he would know that.
我想他是很清楚这一点的
Okay, you know what? You are unbelievable.
好吧 算了吧 你简直不可理喻
You buy all these superhero T-shirts, but when it's time for you to step up and do the right thing, you just hide in the laundry room.
你买了那么多超级英雄的恤衫 可是到了你该挺身而出做点正确的事的时候 你就只会躲在洗衣房里
Fine, I'll go. Just for the record, my Aunt Ruth died in a hospital. She went in to visit my Uncle Roger, caught something and bit the dust a week later. The two of them now share a coffee can on my mother's mantel.
好吧 我去就是了 不过事先声明 我的舅妈露丝就是死在医院里的 她去医院探望我舅舅罗杰 结果却染上了病 结果一周后就挂了 他俩现在都被装在我妈壁炉架上的同一个咖啡罐里