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So, this spring,I get to go to the International Space Station.
今年春天 我要出发去国际空间站
Oh, my word, a trip to the heavens.
上帝啊 上天堂呀
If you ever want to live there eternally,I've got a good book you could read.
如果你想在那里定居我这有本好书你可以看看
Thanks, but I watch the Charlie Brown Christmas special every year,so I get the gist.
心领了 不过我每年都看《查理·布朗的圣诞节》特辑(查理·布朗:史努比的主人)所以我了解其中的要领
I bet your mom is really proud of you.
你妈妈肯定很以你为荣
Nope.She says if I don't back out she's going to go on a hunger strike.It would take years before she'd be in any kind of danger, but still.
不 她说如果我不退出她就要绝食抗议 虽然离出现生命危险得有好几年时间 但我还是于心不忍
I've got a treat for us tomorrow, Mom.I'm taking you to see Saul Perlmutter give a lecture about his Nobel Prize winning work in cosmology.
我们明天去好好玩一天 妈妈 我要带你 去看索尔·珀尔马特演讲(Saul Perlmutter 2011诺贝尔物理学家得主)他那赢得诺贝尔奖的宇宙学研究成果
And the best part is,at the Q and A afterward, I've worked up a couple of "Q's" that will stump his sorry "A."
但最精彩的部分是 在后面的问答阶段 我准备了几个问题 绝对能把他问哭
I don't know, Shelly.I thought we could do a little sightseeing.
我不确定 谢利 我觉得我们可以去观观光
What sight is better than your little boy embarrassing a Nobel laureate?
有什么景色能与你儿子 让诺贝尔奖得主颜面扫地相媲美呢
Come on, Sheldon, we'll take your mom to see the Hollywood sign,the wax museum, the Walk of Fame.
别这样 谢尔顿 我们可以带你妈 去看看好莱坞标志 参观蜡像馆 走走星光大道
Ooh, maybe a little Rodeo Drive.Well, I can't spend $12,000 on a handbag,but it's free to look upon those who do with righteous condemnation.
一万二的手袋 我可买不起 但用正义的眼光谴责那些 买得起的人 这倒是不用花钱的
What do you say?
你觉得怎么样
What do I say?
我觉得怎么样
I say you people need to stop ruining my mom's visit with your sushi, and your sadness and your slutty shirts.Stop it.
我真心觉得我妈来探望我 关你们屁事 去你的寿司 滚你的悲伤 还有你的放荡小吊带 你们够了
He's not talking about your shirt. Your shirt is fine.
他不是说你 你的衣服密不透风
These are delicious.
这真是美味啊
The trick to pancakes is bacon grease.I cook everything in it.
煎薄饼的秘诀就是用培根油 我做什么都放这油
Everything? Aren't you worried about your health?
每样都放吗 你不怕有害健康吗
Oh, doctors are always changing their mind.
医生说话一向自相矛盾的
One week bacon grease is bad for you.The next week we're not getting enough of it.
这个星期说你不能吃培根油 下个星期就说你吃得不够多
Good morning, Shelly.
早上好 谢利
Mom, I want to apologize for my behavior last night.
妈妈 我要为我昨晚的行为道歉
Apology accepted.
接受你的道歉
Great. Now, you're going to love the Perlmutter lecture.
太好了 你会喜欢珀尔马特的演讲的
Look, he will be stating that the universe is older than 6,000 years,but I thought you could stick your fingers in your ears and hum "Amazing Grace" during those parts.I am still going out with your friends.
我还是要跟你朋友出去
But I apologized.And that was hard for me because I didn't do anything wrong.
可我已经道歉了 我容易吗我 我又没做错什么
Shelly, I hung out with you in enough dusty lecture halls while you were growing up.I want to go sightseeing.So why don't you have some pancakes,get dressed and come with us.
谢利 从小到大 那些枯燥无味的演讲 我已经陪你听得够多了 我现在要去观光 你何不吃点煎薄饼 穿好衣服 跟我们一起去
I'm not going, and you can't make me.
我不去 你不能逼我
You're right, I can't. Have a nice day.
你说得对 我不能逼你 你自个儿玩得开心点
Well, I'm going to stand here until you change your mind.
那我就一直站在这里 直到你回心转意
Well, then you are going to stand there all day.
那你就在那儿站一天吧
I'm just gonna take my bacon grease and slide over there.
我还是带上我的培根油闪一边去吧
I can't believe my own mother is abandoning me.
真没想到 我妈妈居然要抛弃我
I am not abandoning you.Sheldon, abandoning you is leaving you in a basket on a church doorstep.
我没有要抛弃你 谢尔顿 要抛弃你 我早把你放篮子里 扔教堂门口了
I am going to Hollywood and thank a wax Ronald Reagan for his service to our country.
我要去好莱坞 对着里根总统的蜡像说 感谢他对国家做的贡献
We appear to be at a crossroads in our relationship, Mother.
看来我们的母子关系处在十字路口了 妈妈
Well, I guess we are.
看来如此
Sorry. Syrup.
不好意思 忘了拿糖浆
All right, Mom.When you're at the Ripley's Believe It Or Not Museum,if they have an exhibit about a mother who threw away a chance to spend the day with the world's most wonderful son,believe it, because it's true.
好吧 妈妈 等你进到"瑞普利信不信由你"博物馆(在美国田纳西州 纪念Robert Ripley) 如果那里有展出情愿扔掉大好机会 也不愿陪她的天才儿子玩一天的母亲 要相信 因为真有这种妈妈
I hadn't...
我还没...
That lecture was a waste of time.
听这场演讲真是浪费时间
I made more accurate diagrams
我还穿尿布的时候
of the expansion of the early universe on the nursery wall
用尿布里的物体 在幼儿园墙上画的
with the contents of my diaper.
早期宇宙膨胀图都比他的准
Are you getting sick?
你是不是病了
No, I'm just allergic to people who get Nobel Prizes for no good reason.
不是 只是对那些 平白无故就得诺贝尔奖的人过敏
Sheldon, is it possible that your foul mood or, to use the clinical term, bitchiness
谢尔顿 你心情不好 或者用临床术语说 嘴贱
is because your mother isn't making you a priority?
是因为你妈妈没有把你放在第一位
No. Or to use the clinical term, "nuh uh""
不是 或者用临床术语说 我呸
Are you sure? The infant mother pair bond is the building block of primate psychology.
你确定吗 母婴配对关系是灵长类动物心理的基础
Oh, there it is.It always comes back to monkeys with you. Just monkeys, monkeys, monkeys.
又来了 什么东西到你嘴里都绕回猴子身上 除了猴子 还是猴子
Sheldon, we're all animals.
谢尔顿 人类也是动物
And granted, there are aspects of you that are extraordinary,when it comes to emotions and relationships,you're just like everybody else.
虽然你有一些过人之处 但说到情绪和人际关系 你跟普通人没什么两样
Are you trying to suggest that my emotional problems are no different than those of a stupid person?
你是说我的情绪问题 跟那些白痴没什么两样吗
Actually, some research indicates that by not overthinking,the less intelligent handle emotions better.
实际上 有些研究表明 不过分考虑的话 智商较低的人 情绪控制得更好
Sure you're not coming down with a cold?
你确定你不是感冒了吗
Oh, yes, the common cold.Just like everyone else.You'd love that, wouldn't you?
是啊是啊 就跟其他人一样 得那种普通的感冒呀 那样你就爽了 对吧
Oh, this one's sweet.You know, for your rosary rattlers.
这间挺漂亮的嘛 对你们这种拿着念珠念经的人来说不错了(指天主教念玫瑰经时用一串念珠)
Mrs. Cooper, we say "Catholics" not "rosary rattlers".
库珀太太 那些是天主教徒 不是"拿着念珠念经的人"
My goodness, it's a wonder you people in California can talk at all.
上帝啊 加利福尼亚怎么这么多条条框框 还让不让人讲话了
This is like the worst Hollywood tour ever.
这真是史上最烂的好莱坞之旅了
What are we gonna do? She wanted to see churches.
咱有什么办法 谁叫她非要逛教堂呢
Hey, they have wine here, don't they?
教堂里有酒的 对吧
None of our gods have abs like that.
我们印度的神可没有这么强壮的腹肌
Yep, that's the last Jew who did sit-ups.
没错 这是最后一个坚持做仰卧起坐的犹太人
And look where it got him.
可你看看他的下场
Hey, while we're here, why don't we all do some praying?Let's put a little church in this church.
既然咱们都来了 何不一块祷告呢 给这个教堂也添点教堂的气氛嘛
Oh, I'm not sure we should...
我觉得我们不...
It's easy. I'll show you how.
很简单的 我教你
Lord, Mary Cooper here.
主啊 玛丽·库珀在此
Coming to you from Gomorrah, California.
我从加利福尼亚州的蛾摩拉城前来膜拜(蛾摩拉城是圣经中的罪恶之都)
I want to thank you for the blessing that is my little Shelly.
我想感谢您保佑我的小宝贝谢利
I also want to thank you for the continued strength not to coldcock him with my Bible.
我还想感谢您一直赐予我宽容的力量 我才没用圣经把他给拍晕
All right, Penny, your turn.
好了 佩妮 到你了
Okay, um...Hey, God. What's up?
好吧 好呀 上帝 最近咋样啊
Um, I'm good, but, uh,it would be a big help to my family if you could get my brother to stop cooking meth.
我挺好的 但是 您要是能阻止我哥造冰毒的话 那就是帮了我们家大忙了
But no cops. Be cool.
但是别惊动警察 私下解决就好
She also goes a little overboard on the "love thy neighbor" .Could probably use that chat you had with Mary Magdalene.
她还有点太爱她的邻居了 都爱上床了(被耶稣解救的妓女) 或许可以像解救抹大拉的玛丽亚那样帮帮她
Leonard, you're up.Wasserman, you're on deck.
莱纳德 到你了 那个叫沃什么的 你做好准备
Okay. I don't know...it's probably a little late to ask you to make me taller.
好吧 说啥呢 现在再求你让我长高点 可能有点太晚了
Oh, um...if you could help out with me and my girlfriend.She's all the way in India. That would be great.
对了 也许你可以帮帮我和我的女朋友 她现在远在印度 你要是能帮我们一下就好了
Hear that? Girl trouble.Turns out we were both wrong on that front.
听见没 恋情烦恼 看来我们都没想到莱纳德也能交上女朋友
How about you?
你呢
Oh, me? No. Thanks, I'm good.I'm really just trying not to burst into flames.
我不用了 我没啥愿望 我只盼着宇宙飞船别突然爆炸就行
Rajesh?
拉杰呢
He says he's having trouble dropping those last five pounds.
他说他那最后的五磅体重怎么都减不下去
Huh, I might have gone with the talking to girls thing.
要是我就求主解决 我不敢跟女孩子讲话的问题
No, you only get one wish.
不行 你一次只能许一个愿
Look at the two of us.
看看咱俩（美国著名演员 Martin Sheen）
Me, a highly regarded physicist.The kind of mind that comes along once,maybe twice in a generation.
我 一位受人尊敬的物理学家 一两代人里才偶然出现一个的 超级高智商
You, the common man,tired from your labors as a stockbroker,or vacuum cleaner salesman, or bootblack.
你呢 就是个普通人 股票经纪 要不就是吸尘机销售员 再不然就是个擦皮鞋的 累得半死刚下班
But deep down inside...apparently we're just two peas in a pod.
但是内心深处咱俩也就是一丘之貉
A regular pea,and the kind of pea that comes along once,maybe twice in a generation.
只不过你是个普通的貉 而我是个一两代才出那么一个的 高等貉
Rain.
下雨了
Another great equalizer.
又一个象征着众人平等的标志
Falling on the head of the brilliant and the unremarkable alike.
雨浇在我这个天才头上 也浇在你这个凡人头上
Smarty pants.
真有先见之明
Oh, Mrs. Cooper, it smells so good.
库珀太太 你做的饭太香了
You take notes, darlin'.
记着我的话 亲爱的
The real way to get a man is with melted cheese and cream of mushroom soup. He'll die at 50 but his love will be true.
拴住一个男人真正的秘诀就是给他做 融化的奶酪和奶油蘑菇汤 虽然他五十岁就挂掉 但在那之前绝对会全心爱你
I need a tissue. This one got wet.
给我张纸巾 这张湿了
Here.
给你
Thank you. Yeah, I've learned something today.
谢谢 我今天学到东西了
You and I, in so many ways,other than intelligence and what counts,we're the same
你和我 在很多方面 除了智商和其他重要方面 其实没什么不同
Sweetheart, are you sick?
亲爱的 你生病了吗
I hope so. because if this is well, life isn't worth living.
但愿如此 如果这都不叫生病 那活着还有什么意义
Oh, sugarpie, you are burning up.We've got to get you to bed.
宝贝儿 你发烧了赶快上床躺着去吧 好吧
Okay.Don't worry. Mama's here to take care of her baby.
别担心 妈妈来照顾小宝贝儿
And just to be clear, only her baby and not these other people.
咱先说清楚 你只照顾自己的宝贝儿 而不是所有这些宝贝儿对吧
Of course.
那当然
Can I have tea with honey and toast with the crust cut off?
我想喝蜂蜜茶 吃去边的三明治 可以吗
You can have whatever you want.
你想吃什么都行
Thanks, Mom. You're the best.
谢谢妈妈 你最好了
Boy, last time I put VapoRub on you,you didn't have hair on your chest.
天啊 上次我帮你涂药膏的时候 你还没长出胸毛来呢
I know, it filled in last year.
是啊 去年才长出来的
I didn't get to spend a lot of time with you on this visit.
你这次来 我都没跟你在一起待多久
And whose fault was that?
这是谁的错啊
Yours.
你的错
Shelly, you're not eight years old anymore.We have to have a different relationship.
谢利 你已经不再是个八岁的小孩子了 咱俩之间的关系不能跟以前一样了
No, we don't.The one we have works great.
不要 咱俩之前那样就挺好的呀
Sweetheart, you are a grown man.
亲爱的 你是个大人了
Or maybe I'm part of a new species,that lives for hundreds of years, which means I'm still basically a toddler.
没准我是个 寿命长达上百年的新物种呢 也就是说我现在还是个两三岁的孩子呢
Oh, I so should have taken you to Houston.
我当年真应该带你去休斯顿
Does this mean you're not going to sing "Soft Kitty"?
也就是说你不会唱《乖乖猫》给我听了吗
No, I will always sing you "Soft Kitty".
不 我永远都会唱《乖乖猫》给你听的
Soft kitty，warm kitty Little ball of fur...
乖乖猫 暖暖猫 小小毛绒球
Mrs. Cooper, were we supposed to take that pie out of the oven?
库珀太太 我们是不是该把那个派从烤箱里拿出来了
Get out!
滚
Well, that was rude.
这也太没礼貌了
Well, I know, but he means well.
就是啊 不过他也不是故意的
Sing.
继续唱吧
Happy kitty,sleepy kitty
快乐猫 瞌睡猫
What are you trying to pull, Mom?
你是想偷懒吗 妈
From the top.
从头开始唱
This is what I'm talking about.
我就说他欠揍嘛
Soft kitty，warm kitty Little ball of fur...
乖乖猫 暖暖猫 小小毛绒球
