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It's open.
门没锁
Hey, you got a minute?
你现在有空吗
Yeah, sure, come on in.
当然 进来吧
Thanks.
谢了
Want some mac and cheese?
来点芝士通心粉吗
No. Lactose. Gas.
不了 有乳糖 吃了会放屁
Glass of wine?
酒呢
No. Sulfites. Migraines.
不了 有亚硝酸盐 喝了会头痛
Okay, well, I'd offer you Halloween candy,but that's gone.
好吧 我本来想给你吃万圣节糖果 不过都吃完了
So, what's up?
怎么了
Okay, we used to go out, right?
好吧 我们以前不是约过会吗
Oh, my God, that's where I know you from.
老天 总算想起来你是谁了
I'm dealing with a situation and it's kind of about my love life,
我碰到了点难题 是跟感情有关的
so I know that might be weird for us to talk about,but in this area, as you know,all my other friends are just so stupid.
我知道咱俩谈这个 可能有点尴尬 但在这方面 你也知道 我其他的朋友实在是 蠢得可以
All right, what's going on?
好吧 怎么回事
So, you're okay talking about this?
这么不介意我跟你谈吗
- Yes. - You're sure it's not weird. It's okay.
是的。你确定不介意。真的不会
You know what, if you ever want to talk to me about a problem in your life with a guy,then I would be fine with that.
好吧 如果有天你想和我谈 你跟男人的感情问题 我也愿意听
Okay, good, because there's this one guy I used to date who's about to be force-fed wine and cheese if he doesn't get to the point.
那好 现在就有个我以前好过的小子 他要是再这样拐弯抹角 我就要灌他吃红酒和芝士
Okay,here it is.
好吧 是这样的
Is it cheating if a guy has a girlfriend...
这样算不算偷腥 如果一个男的有女朋友
Yeah, probably.
应该算的
Come on.
别这样嘛
I'm sorry, go ahead.
对不起 你说
I met this girl, and she's great.we have a lot in common.
我新认识一个女孩子 她人很好 跟我有很多共同话题
Did you guys do it?
那你们搞了吗
No. We just made out a little.
没有 只是亲热了一下下
Oh, look at you, you bad boy.
哎呦 瞧你个小坏蛋
Did you tell her about Priya?
你跟她提过普丽娅吗
Well, I was gonna, but there were too many tongues in my mouth.
我也想提 可她的舌头在我嘴里呢
That's gross.
真恶心
Here's the thing,
现在的情况是
I-I'm not one of those guys who sneaks around and sleeps with more than one woman.
我不是那种四处偷腥 拈花惹草的男人
Well, good for you.
好孩子
The problem is, I want to be one of those guys.
可问题是 我想成为那种男人
So sleep with the new girl and lie to Priya.
那就瞒着普丽娅 把那女的睡了
Oh, that's not who I am.
我不是那种人
All right, then break it off with the new girl.
那好 那就跟那女的一刀两断
Now, let's not do anything rash.She's really hot.
也别草率行事 她真的很正点
If you like this girl so much, why don't you just end things with Priya?
既然你这么喜欢这个女孩子 那干嘛不跟普利娅分手
Priya and I are in love.I think we could get married someday.
普丽娅和我深爱对方我们以后说不定会结婚呢
Leonard, you're looking for a way to sleep with both women and have everybody be happy about it.
莱纳德 你是想找个两全其美的办法 好让你左拥右抱
Now we're getting somewhere.
终于说到点上了
What does your gut tell you?
你的第一直觉是什么
Go ask Penny; she'll know what to do.
去问佩妮 她知道该怎么做
Hello, Howard.
你好 霍华德
I've realized that you scaring me was all in jest.
我知道你们吓我是闹着玩的
Allow me to say, job well done.
请容许我说 吓得很成功
Perfect.
完美
What are you doing?
你在干嘛呢
Science. You wouldn't understand.
搞科研呢 你不会懂的
Hey, well, see you. I'm going out.
那好 再见 我出门了
I thought you were leaving the apartment.
我以为你是要出门呢
Yeah, me, too. I can't make up my mind.
我也以为 可我下不了决心
Are you concerned because the world is filled with big dogs and bullies?
你是不是担心外面的世界 充满着疯狗和坏蛋
No. I'm having a moral crisis.
不是 我正面临道德上的难题
Well, if it's of any help,I've read all the great moral philosophers,including Dr. Seuss.
如果需要帮忙的话 我读过各种伦理学家的著作 美国着名作家及漫画家 以儿童书出名 包括苏斯博士的书哦
Oh, what the hell.
死马当活马医吧
I'm supposed to go see that girl from the comic book store, Alice,
我本来要去见 在漫画书店认识的那个女孩子 爱丽丝
but I don't know if I should,because I'm going out with Priya,but she's in India.
可我不知道该不该去 因为我现在跟普利娅在一起可她人又远在印度
All right. So the topic at hand is sexual fidelity.Probably won't be relying on Seuss here.
好吧 这么说现在的主题是性忠贞 苏斯博士在这方面估计靠不住
Although One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish might be surprisingly applicable.
苏斯博士1960年着作 不过《一条鱼 两条鱼 红色的鱼 蓝色的鱼》倒可能惊人的适用
Go on.
继续
Well...they say at the end of your life,you regret the stuff you didn't do more than the stuff that you did,
那个 别人都说 人到了暮年 比起自己做过的事 会更后悔没有做过一些事
and I'm pretty sure Alice is the stuff I want to do.
而我非常确定我很想跟爱丽丝"做"
You know, the German philosopher, Friedrich Nietzsche,believed that morality is just a fiction used by the herd of inferior human beings to hold back the few superior men.
德国哲学家弗里德里希·尼采 相信道德只是低等人群体用来阻碍少数高等人的虚构事物
That actually does help.
死马还真给医活了
It's worth noting that he died of syphilis.
值得一提的是 他后来死于梅毒
Screw it, I'm going.
管他呢 我去也
On your way home,will you pick up some orange juice?
你回家的路上能不能买点橙汁回来
Do you mind? I'm questioning a lot of things in my life right now.
我正在质疑我人生中很多的人事物呢
Is one of those things your fondness for orange juice?
你喜欢橙汁也需要质疑吗
Is one of those things your fondness for orange juice?
你喜欢橙汁也需要质疑吗
No.
不用
Great. Tropicana, no pulp.
那就对了 纯果乐 要没果肉的
Hey, Sheldon.
嗨 谢尔顿
Who is it!
谁啊
It's me, Sheldon, Mrs. Wolowitz.
沃罗威茨太太 是我 谢尔顿
That's not my mom, it's Bernadette.
那不是我妈 是伯纳黛特
Really? That's very unsettling.
真的吗 真分不出来
Hi, Sheldon.
嗨 谢尔顿
- Hi.
嗨。
What's up?
有什么事？
It just occurred to me that I never formally congratulated you on your pending nuptials.
我刚想到 我一直都还没正式恭祝过你们即将到来的婚事
So I hopped on the first bus and hightailed it down here to shake your hand.
于是我跳上首班车一路狂奔过来跟你握手道贺
Put 'er there, you old so-and-so.
快把手伸过来 你这家伙
Well, I-I'm gonna see you at work in...12 hours don't you think it could have waited until then?
再过12小时 咱俩就一起上班了 你怎么不等上班了再跟我握手呢
Holy smoke, why didn't I think of that?
我的老天 我怎么就没想到呢
You're a better man than I, Howard Wolowitz.
你果然比我聪明 霍华德·沃罗威茨
You put 'er there, you son of a gun!
快把手伸出来 你个小聪明
Whatever.
那随你吧
My...oh...it's...
天啊我
Oh, my God, Howard!What did you do?
天啊 霍华德 你对他做了什么
It was a harmless Halloween prank. Look.
只是个无恶意的万圣节恶作剧而已 看
Howard has a heart condition! You know that!
霍华德有心脏病 你又不是不知道
Well, I thought he made that up.
我还以为他那是瞎编的呢
I-Isn't hypochondria a common idiosyncrasy of Jewish people?
犹太人不是常有 疑病症的问题吗
This is adrenaline --we're gonna have to inject it into his heart.
这是肾上腺素 我们得把这个注射到他的心脏里
We are?
我们得做吗
You are.
是你做
I'm not strong enough to get it through his chest plate,and we've only got one shot.
我可没那么大劲扎穿他的胸腔 而且机会只有一次而且机会只有一次
Oh, no! I can't!
不 我做不来
Hurry!We're running out of time!
快点 咱们时间不多了
- Okay.
好吧。
Just do it!
你快点
Oh, God! One...two...three!
上帝啊 一 二 三
Trick or treat, bubbeleh.
不给糖就捣蛋 笨蛋
What?
什么
No. You mean this was all a ruse?
不是吧 你们居然设局耍我
Oh, how could I be so stu...
我怎么会笨成这...
Damn it, I can't.I can't do this.
该死的 不行 我不能这样
Uh, is it my tongue stud? 'Cause if that freaks you out,you're in for a real surprise later on.
是因为我的舌环吗 要是有穿舌环就会吓到你 那待会儿你会更大吃一惊哦
No, no, no.I-I can't do this. Believe me, I really want to.
不 不是 是我不能跟你这样 相信我 我真的很想
But...?
但是呢
But I kind of have a girlfriend.
但是我有女朋友了
Are you kidding?
你开什么玩笑
You're cool with you and me just being friends, right?
你不介意咱俩只做朋友吧
I don't believe this.
我真不敢相信
Wait, I don't... Which part?
等等 我...你不相信哪部分
I'm so stupid.I thought for once I'd met a good guy,but you're just another jackass.
我真是笨到家了 我还以为我终于遇上了个好人呢 结果你也只不过又是一个混蛋而已
Oh, no, no, you have it wrong.
不 不 你误会了
No. I-I was going to be a jackass,but I stopped myself.
不 我本来是要当个混蛋 但是我克制住了
I stayed a good guy, so...I'm gonna pass on the sex.
我决定做个好人 所以 我还是不跟你滚床单了
But you should know, that's not a comment on your hotness but on my goodness.
但是你要知道 这并不代表你不够辣这只是说明我品德高尚
That's kind of my superpower.
这也算是我的超能力了吧
I'm, like, Captain Good Guy.
我就像是 好人队长
It's okay.
没啥了不起的
Did the right thing.
做了对的选择
You idiot!
我悔得肠子都青了
Hey, Priya.
普丽娅
Hey, sweetheart. How's it going?
亲爱的 一切都好吗
Uh, not so good.We have to talk.
不怎么样 咱俩得谈谈
Oh, sounds serious. What's up?
好像很严重的样子啊 怎么了
Okay, uh...here it is.
好吧 事情是这样的
I met this girl and I kissed her,and I feel terrible about it.But it's done, it's never gonna happen again. And I am so, so sorry.
我认识了一个女生 我们接吻了 我觉得很内疚 但都结束了 绝无下次 我真的非常非常抱歉
Leonard, relax. It's okay.
莱纳德 别紧张 没事的
It is?
真的吗
Yeah, these things happen.They happen to everybody.
是啊 这种事情很正常 人之常情嘛
Oh, my God, you are amazing.I mean, I don't deserve you.Wh-what do you mean "everybody"?
天啊 你真是太好了 我怎么这么命好呀 等 等会 你说"人之常情"是什么意思
Leonard, I didn't know if I should tell you,
莱纳德 我不知道该不该说
but I kind of cheated on you, too.
不过我好像也背叛你了
Kind of?
什么叫好像
A couple of weeks ago,I slept with my ex-boyfriend.So, I guess we both messed up a little.
几周前 我跟我前男友上床了 所以说 我们俩都犯了点小错误
No, no, I messed up a little. You messed up a lot.
不 我是犯了点小错 你可是犯了大错
Well, it's not a competition.
咱这又不是在比赛
Oh...yeah, it is, and you won.
就是比赛 而且你赢了
I-I-I'm sorry, I have to go.
对 对不起 我要下线了
I don't believe this.
老天爷你玩我啊
Bazinga, punk. Now we're even.
吓到了吧 小混蛋 现在我们扯平了
