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Would you please turn your shirt off?
您能行行好把衬衫给关了吗
What? I'm giving myself dramatic entrance music. People will know I'm awesome and to be feared.
那怎么行 我的闪亮出场需要恢宏的背景音乐 这样人们才会崇拜并畏惧我
Right. There's nothing more awesome and frightening than a man who's got music blasting from between his nipples.
确实 世上最惊悚的事莫过于有音乐从一个男人的咪咪间喷薄而出
Hey, Stuart, what's going on?
斯图亚特 忙啥呢
Well, you might want to mark your Google calendars.
你可能需要在谷歌日历上记下了
Stan Lee is coming to do a signing on Thursday.
斯坦·李周四来这里开签名会
Did he finally write a sequel to his autobiography?
他的自传出续集了吗
I'm sure ages 79 through 87 were just actionpacked.
我就知道80来岁的人照样老当益壮
No, just a regular comic signing.
没 就是普通的漫画签名罢了
My uncle is his dermatologist and Stan's doing him a favor.
我叔叔是他的皮肤科医生 斯坦·李因此卖个面子给他
Oh, I don't want to know that!
你告诉我这些干嘛啊你
How can I possibly discuss with Stan Lee the scientific foundations for interstellar flight on a silver surfboard
这下好了 我怎么可能一边和斯坦·李讨论用银质冲浪板来星际飞行的科学依据
when part of my brain will be scanning his face for signs of contagious skin disease?
一边逐行扫描他的脸以寻找皮肤传染病的蛛丝马迹
Stan Lee does not have a contagious skin disease.
斯坦·李没有皮肤传染病
Well, look who thinks he's Stuart's uncle now.
一边去 你又不是斯图亚特的叔叔
Can't believe it. We're going to meet Stan Lee!
难以置信 我们要见到斯坦·李了
I'm sad to say I taught him those moves.
我错了 我不该教他跳这舞的
I can't decicide whether I want Stan Lee to autograph my Journey into Mystery 83, first appearance of Thor
我实在无法取舍 究竟让斯坦·李把名字签在托尔第一次出场的《神秘之旅》83期上
or my Fantastic Four number five, first appearance of Dr. Doom.
还是签在《神奇四侠》第五本上 死亡博士的处女秀
Alex, I'm going to go with what is... you're a dumbass?
阿莱克斯 (Jeopardy的主持) 我选的答案是你是个傻帽
I've decided I'm going to have Mr. Lee sign my copy of this month's Batman.
我决定让斯坦·李把名签在这个月的《蝙蝠侠》上
That's crazy. Stan Lee had nothing to do with Batman.
有病吧你 蝙蝠侠又不是斯坦·李的作品(竞争对手)
Yes, which is why no one else will ask him to sign one,
对啊 所以其他人不会让他签这个
and I will be the possessor of a unique, albeit confusing, artifact,
于是我就会拥有一件虽然怪异但独一无二的稀世珍宝
which will set me apart from hoi polloi of comic book fandom.
我从此就和那群芸芸漫画迷不再是一个级别的了
That's a great idea. I'm going to get him to sign a Batman as well.
这点子不错 我也让他签《蝙蝠侠》去
What is it about the word "unique" you don't understand?
你对独一无二这个词很难理解么
Damn, paper cut.
靠 手被纸片划破了
Nothing worse than a paper cut.
被纸割伤最痛苦了
Well, obviously you don't remember your circumcision.
你忘了割礼吧(犹太儿童切除包皮的仪式)
There's Neosporin and BandAids in my top desk drawer.
上面抽屉里有新孢霉素和创口贴
Why don't you keep that stuff in the bathroom?
这些东西不是该放在卫生间里吗
He does. And in the kitchen. And in the car. And in his pocket.
卫生间里有 还有厨房里 还有车里 再加上他口袋里
Yeah, but the ones in my pocket are mine.
没错 但我口袋里的可不给别人用
Hi! Hey.Guess who's going to be at the comic bookstore on Thursday?
嗨 嘿 猜猜看 周四谁会去漫画店
Um... can you give me a hint? Stan Lee.
呃 给点提示吧 斯坦·李
Um... Stanley... Stanley... Stanley Tucci?
噢 斯坦利 斯坦利·图奇?
No. No, Stan... Lee. Oh, oh, Stan Lee! Cool!
不是 是斯坦·李 哦 斯坦·李嘛 不错嘛
You have no idea who he is, do you?
你根本不知道他是谁吧
Of course I do. You're an important part of my life and I pay attention to the things you are interested in.
谁说的 我当然知道 你是我生命中的重要的一部分 我自然会爱屋及乌啦
Oh, good. Good. So, who's Stan Lee?
是嘛 好啊 好极了 那你说说 斯坦·李是谁
Um... he was on Star Trek. Nope.
星际迷航里的 猜错了
Star Wars? No.Um... uh, Stan Lee.
那就星球大战 又错 呃 斯坦·李
Ooh, he was in those goofy kung fu movies you love so much? That's Bruce Lee.
我知道了是你喜欢的傻帽功夫片里的 那是李小龙
Oh. So, is this Bruce Lee's nerdy brother, Stan?
啊哦 那这是小龙的书呆子哥哥斯坦?
Sheldon, why do you have all these unopened paychecks in your desk?
谢尔顿 你抽屉怎么有那么多没拆封的薪水支票
Because most of the things I'm planning to buy haven't been invented yet.
因为我想买的东西市面上基本上都没有
Therethere must be thousands of dollars here. Why don't you put it in the bank?
这儿得有好几千块了吧 你干嘛不存银行里
I don't trust banks.
鬼才相信银行
I believe that when the robots rise up, ATMs will lead the charge.
我坚信如果有一天机器人奋起反抗了 自动取款机肯定是起义军领袖
You've also got something from the Pasadena Municipal Court.
这儿还有一封帕萨迪纳市法院寄来的东西
Undoubtedly another snide response to my repeated letters complaining that the flags in front of the courthouse are flying in the wrong order.
肯定又是回信来鄙视我之前寄去的几封信里投诉了法院门口的旗子次序是错误的
From left to right, it's supposed to be federal, state, and then city of Pasadena.
按照从左到右的顺序应该先是联邦旗 州旗 最后才轮到帕萨迪纳市旗
I'm sorry. You sent more than one letter about that? It bothers me.
打断一下 你为此寄了好几封信过去它们看着太碍眼了
Sheldon, this is a summons.
谢尔顿 这是封传票
A summons for what?
什么的传票
Looks like you ran a red light M Margo Avenue at 9:30 p.m. on November 16.They got you on a traffic camera.
信上说你在玛格大道闯了红灯 时间是11月16号晚上9点半 你被路边的摄像头拍下来了
Nice picture. November 16?
挺上镜嘛 11月16号
Penny, that's the evening you fell in your bathtub and I had to drive you to the emergency room.
佩妮 那不就是你在浴缸里摔倒 然后我不得不带你去看急诊的那晚吗
No, it isn't. Yes, it is. No, it isn't.
不是 就是 就不是
Penny, I have an eidetic memory.
佩妮 我记得很清楚
Also, that's a picture of you in the passenger seat holding your dislocated shoulder.
而且摄像头也拍下了你在副驾驶位置上托着你那脱臼的肩膀
Mmm, no, it isn't.
才不是呢
Okay, then why is a summons for a traffic violation committed in your car, bearing your license plates, coming to me?
好吧 那为啥传票上违反交规的 是你的车 而且挂着你的车牌却寄来我这儿了
Okay, look, they sent me the ticket.
好吧 他们给我发了传票
I told them I wasn't driving and they were all, "If it wasn't you, who was it?"
我告诉他们当时并不是我开的车 然后他们逼问我"除了你还有谁"
So you betrayed me?
于是你就把我出卖了
No! It wasn't a betrayal. It was more of a "I can't afford any more points on my license."
才没有 这哪是出卖 我只不过表示"我的驾照已经没分好扣了"
I already have to buy my insurance from this place in the Cayman Islands.
我已经不得不去开曼群岛上买车险了
But the only reason I was driving your car was because you were in distress and I was rescuing you.
但我之所以开你的车还不是因为你当时可怜兮兮的我才伸出援手
you have a photo to remember that heroic day.
你有张照片记录英勇的一天
It's not that big a deal. You just go down to the court on Thursday and you pay the fine.
没什么大不了的 你只要周四去法院交罚金就行
I'm not going to pay a fine. That would imply I'm guilty.
我才不去交罚金 那就说明我有罪
You are guilty.
你确实有罪
That one I liked. I am not guilty.
这个我喜欢 我是无罪的
I only have a learner's permit. Penny was the teacher.
我只有实习驾照 佩妮教我的
When the light turned yellow she said "Go, go, go." So I went, went, went.
转黄灯时 她就说"快快快" 于是我就"开开开"
Sheldon, I'm sorry. I'll be happy to reimburse you for the fine.
谢尔顿 对不起 我会还你罚金的钱
You know, as soon as I get a part in a movie or my own TV series.
只要我能参演一部电影或者自己拍个电视剧
You don't need to reimburse me because I'm not paying.
不用你还 因为我不会交的
On Thursday, I will have my day in court and justice will be done.
周四那天 我会去法院 正义会得到伸张
In fact, I'm going to begin preparing my defense right now.
我现在就着手准备辩护
Okay, he's going to jail.
他坐定牢了
Oh, that's right. Thursday is Stan Lee Day.
对哦 周四是斯坦·李签名日
Now you see what you've done? Because of you, we're all going to miss Stan Lee.
看到你做的好事了吧 就因为你 我们都见不到斯坦·李了
What do you mean "all?"
你说"都"是什么意思
Well, you're my friends. You'll be standing by my side, supporting me, feeding me legal precedents,
你们是我朋友啊 你们要站在我旁边支持我 为我提供案例
and if you had the upper body strength, carrying me out on your shoulders when I'm victorious.
你们上身要是够壮 我胜诉时 可以把我搁肩膀上扛出去
Yeah, okay. No.
这个嘛 不行
Are you saying that you will not stand beside me as I plead my case?
你是说我为自己辩护时你不会来站在我身边吗
That's what I'm saying.
是这个意思
Howard? Uh, Stan Lee, or you in court.
霍华德 斯坦·李 法庭上的你
Uh, if this was Sophie's Choice it would've been a much shorter movie. No.
要是《苏菲的选择》有这么简单 电影就不会那么长了 不行
Raj? You'll be there, won't you?
拉杰 你会来吧
All right, then. My socalled friends have forsaken me.
那好吧 我所谓的朋友都抛弃了我
So, I guess it'll just be me and my eyewitness. Oh, balls.
看来只剩我和目击证人了 晕死
Please try to wear something appropriate.
请着装得体一点
It won't help my case if the judge is busy trying to read the word "Juicy" scrawled across your buttocks.
要是法官只顾着想你屁股上'美味多汁'的意思 对我的案子没好处
Penny. Penny. Penny. That's just wrong. All right, let's go.
佩妮 佩妮 佩妮 节奏不对 好了 走吧
Wait, hold on. Before we get to the courthouse, I'd like to call on your skills as an actress.
等一下 去法院之前 我想看一下你的演技
What is this?
这是什么
I've taken the liberty of scripting your appearance on the witness stand because, let's face it, you're somewhat of a loose cannon.
我冒昧地为你起草了出庭作证的剧本 面对现实 你有点我行我素
Now, don't worry; it's written in your vernacular. So shall we rehearse?
别担心 都是用你的方言写的 我们排练一下如何
Do I have a choice?
我有得选吗
Well, of course you have a choice. Although we live in a deterministic universe, each individual has free will.
你当然有选择权 虽然我们生活在宿命里 但每个人都有自由选择的权力
Now, sit down. I call your attention to the events of November 16.Do you remember that date?
给我坐下 请你回忆下11月16日发生的事 你记得那天吗
"Darn tootin', I do. If the court will excuse my homespun, cornfed Nebraskan turn of phrase."
废话 我记得 请法官原谅我家乡内布拉斯加 粗俗简朴的语言
Excellent. Go on.
很好 继续
"The reason that date is, like, so totally fixed in my memory is that I had the privilege to be witness to one of the most heroic acts I've ever seen in, like, ever.
我记得那天 而且铭记在我的脑子里 是因为我有幸目睹了毕生从未见过的英勇行为
"And who performed that heroic act?"
谁的英勇行为
"Why, you did, sir. You. Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
您的啊 阁下 您 谢尔顿·库珀博士
And may I add, it is a privilege to know you."
而且我想说 我很荣幸认识您
"There's no need for compliments. This court is only interested in the facts."
不必称赞我 法庭只看重事实
"But it is a fact that it's a privilege to know you. Totally."
但感觉很荣幸能认识您啊也是个事实啊 真的
A teardrop rolls down my cheek?!
一滴泪从我面颊流下
Only a suggestion. A catch in your throat would work just as well.
纯属建议 喉咙哽咽一下也可以
"But it is a fact that it's a privilege to know you.
但我感觉很荣幸能认识您啊也是个事实啊
Totally." Maybe you should put on your "Juicy" pants again. Pay the cashier.
真的 你还是穿"美味多汁"的裤子吧 去交罚金
