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Yeah, I miss you, too, sweetie.
嗯 我也想你了 亲爱的
Listen, I got to go, but I'll see you tonight?
我得挂了 晚上见吧
Okay. Bye bye. Bye bye.
好的 拜拜 拜拜
No, you hang up first.
不 你先挂嘛
Hello? Dude, I'm glad you finally got a girlfriend,
喂 老兄 我为你好不容易找到个女朋友而高兴
but do you have to do all that lovey dovey stuff in front of those of us who don't?
但你非得当着我们这些光棍的面玩那套你亲我热的把戏吗
Actually, he might have to.
事实上 他也许该当如此
There's an economic concept known as a positional good in which an object is only valued by the possessor
在经济学里有种概念被称之为地位商品 它只在持有人手中才能彰显其价值
because it's not possessed by others.
因为其他人无法拥有
The term was coined in 1976 by economist Fred Hirsch to replace the more colloquial, but less precise "neener neener."
这个词由经济学家弗列得·赫希杜撰于1976年用来取代更口语化 但并不准确的"哦也,哦也"
That's not true. My happiness is not dependent on my best friend being miserable and alone.
才不是呢 我的快乐不是建立于挚友的杯具与孤独之上的
Thank you. Although, I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a little bit of a perk.
谢谢 当然 要说我没得儿意地笑肯定是说谎了
Who's miserable and alone? Me.
谁杯具和孤独了 我
Oh. I used to be like that. Then I got a girlfriend. In pre 1976 terms, neener neener.
噢 我以前也这样 直到我有了女朋友 用1976年之前的话来说 "哦也,哦也"
Hey, what are you and Bernadette doing for your first Valentine's Day?
嘿 你和伯纳黛特准备如何共度你们的第一个情人节
Yeah, I am pulling out all the stops.
啊 我可是绞尽脑汁了
There's a $39.95 lover's special at P.F. Chang's.
华馆提供了39.95美金的情侣特典套餐
Egg rolls, dumplings, bottomless wok, and you get your picture taken on the big marble horse out front.
蛋卷啊 饺子啊 数不清的炒菜 最后你还能和门口硕大的大理石马合影留念
Given that Saint Valentine was a third century Roman priest who was stoned and beheaded,
考虑到圣瓦伦丁是个在公元三世纪被丢石头和斩首的罗马祭司
wouldn't a more appropriate celebration of the evening be taking one's steady gal to witness a brutal murder?
在这个夜晚带着女朋友去看一场残忍的凶杀 难道不是更合情理的庆祝方式吗
I understand your point, but given a choice, Jews always go with Chinese food.
我明白你的意思 但是有选择的话 犹太人永远选择中国菜
Well, if anyone's interested, I'll be spending this Valentine's Day the same way I spend every Valentine's Day.
呃 如果任何人有兴趣 今年的情人节我会像往年一样
Buying a rotisserie chicken from the supermarket, taking it home, standing over the sink and eating it out of the package with my bare hands like an animal.
从超市买只大烤鸡带回家 站在洗手池边 像只禽兽一样直接打开包装用手抓着吃
Okay, so to sum up: one giant marble horse, one asinine comment, one lonely man and his chicken.
很好 那总结一下 一个是大理石骏马 一条愚蠢之极的意见 剩男则独自回家吃鸡
And let's see. Who's left? Oh, that's right. My plans. Isn't anyone going to ask?
让我们看看 还剩谁呢 没错 就剩我的计划了 有人想要问一下吗
Fine, tell us you're going to have sex with Penny.
好吧 告诉我们你会和佩妮云雨一番
That's not what I was going to tell you.
这不是我想说的
It's okay. I don't mind hearing about your sex life.
没关系 我不介意听听你的性生活
It's his that bugs me.
只有他的才会让我抓狂
Guess who the university is sending to Switzerland to attend a conference and see the CERN supercollider on February 14?
你们猜学校要派谁去瑞士参加研讨会并参观欧洲核子研究委员会的超级对撞机 就在二月十四日
Professor Norton, although, God knows why.
诺顿教授 尽管原因只有上帝才知道
He hasn't published anything of note since he won that Nobel Prize.
他自从获得诺贝尔奖之后就再也没有发表过任何着名的文章
Actually, Professor Norton can't make it. He threw his back out rock climbing.
事实上诺顿教授去不成了 他在攀岩的时候把腰扭了
I heard he threw his back out climbing on his new girlfriend.
我怎么听说他是在攀新女友的高峰时把腰扭了
The big boobed weather girl on Channel 2? That's the one.
就是第二台的那个爆乳天气女郎吗就是她
In any case, they're asking me to fill in for him.
不管怎样 他们邀请我代替他
In Switzerland or with the big boobed weather girl?
是瑞士还是爆乳天气女郎
Switzerland. And I get to bring a guest!
瑞士 而且我还能带一个人去
Oh, man! No way, dude! This is incredible!
哦 天呐 不可能 老兄 太难以置信了
I'm so happy, I'm not even going to question their judgment in picking you.
我太开心了 我甚至不想去质疑他们为什么会选你去了
I'm just going to run home and start packing.
我要速度奔回家收拾行李
Why wouldn't you take Penny? I am taking Penny.
你怎么不带佩妮去 我是要带佩妮去的
Oh. Well, then I anticipate an awkward situation when you get home.
哦 那我预测你回家会面临个尴尬的境地
Sheldon, you got a minute?
谢尔顿 有空吗
Of course, my good friend. Come in.
当然了 我的好朋友 请进
Help me out. Which ski hat says aprey supercollider?
帮我参考一下 哪顶滑雪帽比较像超级对撞机
Sheldon, I'm not taking you to Switzerland.
谢尔顿 我没有选你去瑞士
Well, of course you are. Who else would you take? Penny.
你当然选我了 你还能选谁呢 佩妮
What? That's absurd. Penny has no interest in subatomic particle research.
什么 这太荒谬了 佩妮对亚原子粒子的研究又不感兴趣
Yes, but it'll be Valentine's Day.
没错 但那是情人节啊
We can go sightseeing and skiing and make love in front of a roaring fire in the shadow of the snowcapped Alps.
我们可以去观光滑雪 然后在熊熊炉火前与皑皑白雪所覆盖的阿尔卑斯山阴中共度春宵
But Penny has no interest in subatomic particle research.
但佩妮对亚原子粒子的研究不感兴趣啊
I'm sorry, Sheldon.
抱歉 谢尔顿
Sorry? I've been dreaming about going to the Large Hadron Collider since I was nine years old.
抱歉 我自从九岁起就一直梦想着有朝一日去看大型强子对撞机
Yeah, well, I've been dreaming about spending Valentine's Day with a girl since I was six.
是吗 那我还从六岁起就梦想有朝一日有个女生能与我共度情人节呢
Shame on you! That's no dream for a scientist!
太可耻了 这不是科学家该有的梦
Okay, what's the big surprise?
你要给我什么巨大的惊喜啊
Just a minute. This tray contains clues as to what you and I are going to be doing on Valentine's Day.
稍等一下 这个托盘里藏着你和我如何共度情人节的线索
Oh. Wow. Okay. Let's see. We've got, uh, milk chocolate, Swiss cheese, fondue.
喔 好吧 让我看看 有牛奶巧克力 瑞士硬干酪 芝士火锅
My lactose intolerant boyfriend is going to eat all this.
我的乳糖不耐症男友要吃完这些
Then I'm going to climb on his back and rocket to the moon?
然后我骑在他背上直冲月球
No. But it does involve air travel.
不对 但的确跟空中旅行有关
Okay, um... let me slice this Swiss cheese with my Swiss army knife, and then you can wash it down with a cup of Swiss Miss instant cocoa.
这样吧 我用"瑞士"军刀切一片"瑞士"干酪 你可以把它加到一杯 "瑞士"小姐速溶可可里
Okay, I'm starting to think Swiss is key here.
嗯 我觉得瑞士应该是个关键词了
Uh huh. We're going to Disneyland and ride the Matterhorn?
没错 去迪士尼乐园玩马特洪峰雪橇过山车
How does that involve air travel? We're going to Disney World and ride the Matterhorn? No.
这怎么会跟空中旅行有关 去迪士尼世界玩马特洪雪橇过山车(奥兰多佛罗里达)? 不对
Okay, sweetie, this started out fun, but I'm over it.
亲爱的 开始是挺好玩的 但现在没意思了
We're going to Switzerland to see the CERN supercollider!And ski. We'll also go skiing.
我们要去瑞士的欧洲核子研究中心参观超级对撞机 还有去滑雪
We're going skiing in Switzerland?!
我们要去瑞士滑雪
Well, you'll ski, I'll fall, but, yeah, we will be in Switzerland for Valentine's Day.
你滑 我会摔倒 不过是的 我们要去瑞士过情人节
Oh, my God, Leonard! That's incredible!
天啊 莱纳德 太好了
Not so fast. You might want to hold off on lighting your rabeliechtli, Penny.
别高兴得太早 先别急着点你的芜菁灯吧 佩妮
Rabe what ly? Rabeliechtli.
芜什么玩意儿 芜菁灯
It means turnip light and refers to a traditional lantern hand carved from a root vegetable and used to celebrate certain Swiss festivals.
芜菁灯是一种用根菜手工雕刻的传统灯笼 用于庆祝瑞士的特定节日
Which you will not be celebrating because A: these festivals occur in the fall; and B: you will not be going to Switzerland.
但你不会参加原因之一 节日在秋季 原因之二 你去不了瑞士
Sheldon, we've been through this. I'm taking Penny.
谢尔顿 我们谈过了 我带佩妮去
Afraid not. Do you recognize this?
估计不行 你还认得这个吗
Not the roommate agreement.
别提室友协议
Indeed, the roommate agreement.
正是室友协议
I call your attention to the Friendship Rider in Appendix C: Future Commitments.
请您注意友谊附加条款在附录C 未来义务
"Number 37: in the event one friend is ever invited to visit the Large Hadron Collider, now under construction in Switzerland,
第37条 当一位朋友受邀参观现在瑞士建设中的大型强子对撞机
he shall invite the other friend to accompany him."
该人应邀请另一位朋友相陪
Oh, for God's sakes. You actually put that in an agreement?
偶滴神啊 你们连这个也写进协议里吗
Yeah. We also put in what happens if one of us wins a MacArthur Grant, or if one of us gets superpowers,
里面还写了如果一人得了麦克阿瑟天才奖怎么办 如果一人有超能力怎么办
or if one of us is bitten by a zombie. He can't kill me, even if I turn.
如果一人被僵尸咬了怎么办 就算我尸变 他也不能杀我
Is there anything in there about if one of you gets a girlfriend?
里面没写一人有了女友怎么办吗
No, that seemed a little farfetched.
没有 那个有点太不着调了
Sheldon, do you really expect to enforce this?
谢尔顿 你真打算强制实施这个吗
I've lived up to all my commitments under the agreement.
我一直遵守协议里的所有义务
At least once a day I ask how you are, even though I simply don't care.
每天至少问候你一次 即使我一点都不在意
I no longer stage spontaneous biohazard drills after 10:00 p.m.
我没有在晚上十点后进行生物危害演习了
And I abandoned my goal to master Tuvan throat singing.
我也放弃学习图瓦喉唱了
Okay, I know I shouldn't ask, but what is...? No.
我知道不该问 不过什么是 别啊
I'd be much further along if I'd been allowed to practice.
如果允许我训练 我能唱得更好
Look, Sheldon, I know it's in the agreement, and if you turn into a zombie, I promise I will not kill you.
谢尔顿 我知道协议这么写 如果你真的变成僵尸 我保证不杀你
In fact, I'll even let you eat my brains. But I am taking Penny to Switzerland.
我宁愿让你喝我脑浆 但我还是要带佩妮去瑞士
Is that your final decision? It is.
这是你的最终决定吗 没错
Very well. It's not over, is it?
很好 他不会罢休 对吧
What do you think?
你以为呢
Got a bit of traffic this morning, huh? Think it's gonna rain?
今早的车挺多啊 你觉得会下雨吗
Instead of underpants, I covered my crotch with potato salad this morning.
今天早上我把土豆沙拉当内裤穿了
Thoughts? Okay, I know what'll cheer you up.
有啥想法 我知道怎么让你高兴
Let's play one of your driving games.
我们玩你的开车游戏吧
All right. This game is called Traitors.
好啊 游戏名就叫叛徒
I will name three historical figures, you put them in order of the heinousness of their betrayal.
我说三个历史人物 你以背叛行为的罪恶程度来给他们排下序
Benedict Arnold, Judas, Dr. Leonard Hofstadter.
本尼迪克特·阿诺德 犹大 莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德博士
You really think I belong with Benedict Arnold and Judas?
你真觉得我跟他们是一类人吗
You're right. Judas had the decency to hang himself after what he did.
你说得对 犹大至少为自己的作为以死谢罪了
Come on, Sheldon. Can't you at least try to understand how much this means to me?
别这样 谢尔顿 你就不能理解一下这对我有多重要吗
Round two: Leonard Hofstadter, Darth Vader, Rupert Murdoch. Rupert Murdoch?
第二轮 莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德 达斯·维达 鲁珀特·默多克 鲁珀特·默多克
He owns Fox, and they cancelled Firefly.
福克斯电视台老板 他们把《萤火虫》砍了
Hint: he and Darth Vader are tied for #2.
提示 他和达斯·维达并列第二
I'm sorry I couldn't hang with you last night. I had a date with Bernadette.
对不起昨晚不能陪你 我和伯纳黛特约会了
I know. I saw the Tweet.
我知道 我在推特上看到了
So, what did you end up doing?
那你干什么了
Not much. Nuked a burrito. Oh.
没干什么 热了块玉米馅饼
Prayed to the Hindu god Urvashi that your bowels would loosen and your penis would droop like a willow tree.
向印度女神乌尔瓦希祈祷你会拉稀 老二蔫得跟柳条一样柔软
You seen Sheldon?
看到谢尔顿了吗
No. Is he still mad about the supercollider?
没有 他还在为超级对撞机的事生气吗
Yeah. He thinks I betrayed him.
对 他觉得我背叛了他
I mean, come on. What would you guys do if you were me?
搞什么啊 要是你们会带谁
I'd take Sheldon to Switzerland.
我会带谢尔顿去瑞士
Seriously? Absolutely. And I'd leave him there.
真的假的 当然了 再把他扔在那里
