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Leonard, what time does your mom's plane get in? I don't know, some time tomorrow morning.
莱纳德，你妈妈的飞机什么时候到？不知道，明天早上的某个时候吧。
Don't you want to know for sure?
你不去确定下确切时间吗？
No need to. As soon as she flies into California airspace, I'll feel a disturbance in the Force.
不必。只要她的飞机一进入加州领空，我就能感觉到原力一阵扰动。
It's so nice both of your moms are coming in to see you guys get an award.
真好，你们两个人的母亲都专程飞过来看你们领奖。
Well, my mother's been there for every honor I've won since I beat out my twin sister for the "Did it on the potty" trophy. How does this look?
每次得奖我妈妈都会陪在我身边，这个传统从我打败双胞胎姐姐赢得"学会用便盆"奖杯时就开始了。这看起来怎么样？
Aw, it's so nice. She's gonna love it.
很好看，她一定会喜欢。
Sure, his mom gets roses. When I want them, they're a "bouquet of severed plant genitals."
是啊，他妈妈就能有玫瑰。每次我说我想要玫瑰，他说玫瑰是"一束被砍下来的植物性器官"。
You act like I didn't get you that mushroom log on Valentine's Day.
你说得好像情人节我没送过你蘑菇养殖木一样。
He's right. Roses die, but a moist rotting log will pump out mushrooms for two or three magical years.
他说得对。玫瑰会枯萎，但一段潮湿腐烂的木头能让蘑菇长个美好的两三年呢。
You know, your mom's never been too thrilled with our relationship. Maybe I should get her something so she warms up to me.
你妈妈一直对我们的感情不太感冒。或许我该给她点什么，让她能慢慢接受我。
If you could run out and get a PhD, that might make her like you.
如果你能跑出去弄个博士学位，她说不定就会喜欢你啦。
Really? It didn't work for you. Do you think the moms will get along?
是吗？你这个博士也没赢得她的欢心啊。你们觉得两位妈妈处得来吗？
Uh, I don't know. They're pretty different.
不知道。她们两人差别挺大。
Maybe they'll be best friends. One of them is brilliant, one is sweet and simple. Sound familiar?
说不定能成为挚友啊。她们一人聪明绝顶，一人善良单纯。有没有种熟悉的感觉？
Shelly, I'm so proud of you and Leonard for getting this award. Oh, thank you, Mother.
谢利，你跟莱纳德得到这个奖让我十分骄傲。谢谢你，母亲。
I tried to read your paper, but it was very hard for me to understand.
我有试着读你的论文，但是太深了我读不懂。
Oh, it's quite straightforward, actually. It describes a new model of the universe that conceptualizes it as the surface of an n-dimensional superfluid.
其实还挺好理解的啦。它描述了一种新的宇宙模型，将宇宙构想成n维超流体的表面。
Interesting. You can believe that, but God filling an ark with animals two-by-two is nonsense.
有意思。你相信这个，却不信上帝在方舟上雌雄各一地装了各种动物。
What did they feed the lions, Mother?
母亲，那他们用什么喂狮子呢？
The floating bodies of drowned sinners, of course.
被大洪水淹死 、漂来漂去的罪人尸体啊。
Listen, Leonard's mom is a renowned psychiatrist and woman of science. Can you please keep the Bible babble to yourself while she's here?
听我说，莱纳德的母亲是一位知名心理学家和一名女科学家。能不能请你把你那些圣经碎话收着别在她面前说？
Are you ashamed of me?
你觉得我让你丢人了吗？
Of course not. I love you. I'm just embarrassed by the things you believe, do and say.
当然不是啦，我最爱你了。只是你的信仰 、行为和话语让我感到难堪。
Well, I love you, too. My little bowl of lion chow.
好吧，我也爱你。我那喂狮子的小宝贝。
So, have you and Penny set a wedding date? No, we're kind of taking it slow.
你跟佩妮定下婚礼的日子了吗？没呢，我们打算慢慢来。
I see. What does that mean?
我懂了。你这是什么意思？
You've been on and off with this woman for seven years and engaged for one year. One has to wonder if there's a problem. Are you having satisfactory intercourse?
你跟这个女人分分合合七年了，然后也订婚一年了。让人不禁疑惑：你们俩性生活还行吗？
Yes, Mother. Only satisfactory. I see.
是的，母亲。所以只是还行，我懂了。
I change my answer. It-it's amazing. It's hot. We can barely keep our hands off each other.
我换下答案。是很棒，超热辣。一看到对方就天雷勾动地火。
Seems odd to try and impress your mother with your sexual prowess. But then, you always did have that unresolved Oedipal complex.
试图靠炫耀床上功夫来取悦你的母亲有些怪吧。不过你也的确一直有尚未解决的恋母情结。
See, this right here, what you're doing, can you please not do that around Sheldon's mom?
你看，就是你现在这样，能不能求你别在谢尔顿他妈妈面前这样？
Why? Are you attracted to her, too?
为什么？你也恋上她了吗？
Of course not. She's-she's just a very sweet and God-fearing lady, and you have to be respectful of her beliefs.
当然没有啦。她就只是个很善良很虔诚的女士，所以请你对她的信仰表示尊重。
Leonard, I'm an adult. I know how to conduct myself around people from different walks of life.
莱纳德，我是个成人。我知道如何在各式各样的人面前保持风度。
Thank you. Where is she from again? East Texas. Ugh. Hey, look who's here.
谢谢。她是哪里人来着？德州东部。天哪。看看谁来啦。
Oh, Dr. Hofstadter, it's so good to see you again.
霍夫斯塔德博士，真高兴再见到你。
Likewise. I read your paper; it was very impressive. Oh, thank you.
我也是。我读了你的论文，非常棒。谢谢。
We just spent two hours in traffic. Did you think to mention to me that you liked our paper?
我们刚开了两小时的车回来。在路上你怎么没想过要说你喜欢我们的论文呢？
Of course I did, but it's a mother's job to make sure her child's self-esteem is not dependent on anyone's approval.
我当然想过，但一位母亲的职责，就是得确保自己孩子的自尊不是建立靠得到他人肯定上。
That's so sweet, you think I have self-esteem.
真好，你觉得我还有自尊心。
Dr. Hofstadter, I want you to meet my mother, Mary. So nice to meet you.
霍夫斯塔德博士，这位是我的母亲玛丽。很高兴见到你。
Nice to meet you, too. How was your flight? Very pleasant. And yours?
幸会幸会。飞得还顺利吗？很好。你的呢？
Lovely. Almost as if someone-- not saying who-- was watching over the plane.
非常好。仿佛某位...不说是谁了，从飞机上方庇佑着我们。
You're kidding, right? Subtle, Mom, real subtle. Stuart. Morning.
你是在开玩笑的吧？妈，你真是一点都不明显啊。斯图尔特。早安。
We talked about this. I don't mind you still living here, but we got to have some rules. And rule number one is pants.
我们谈过这事了。我不介意你继续住在这里，但我们必须要有些规矩。而第一条规矩就是：穿裤子。
You must be very proud of your son.
你一定很引你儿子为豪吧。
Oh, yes. He recently argued a case before the Supreme Court.
是啊。他最近在最高法院为一件案子辩护。
He did? Oh, you mean this son. Uh, sure, he's terrific.
他去了吗？你是说这个儿子啊。是啦，他很不错。
Uh, Beverly, would you like to see the math I worked out to support our hypothesis?
贝弗莉，你想不想看下我为验证我们的假设所做的计算？
Uh, you mean, my hypothesis. I hypothesized it all by myself.
你是说我的假设吗。这全部假设都是我做出来的。
Calm down, dear. Mary, I'm curious. When did you first realize that your son had such a remarkable mind?
冷静，亲爱的。玛丽，我很好奇。你第一次发现你儿子有着如此非凡的脑子是什么时候呢？
Ooh, good question. Everyone loves stories about Sheldon Cooper, boy genius.
好问题。大家都喜欢天才小子谢尔顿·库珀的故事。
Well, I would have to say when he was 13 and tried to build a nuclear reactor in the tool shed.
大概是他十三岁的时候吧，他试着在工具房里造一个核反应堆。
Ooh, this is a good one.
这是个好故事。
Now, the first thing you have to know about Shelly is ever since he was a little boy, he was always concerned with the well-being of others.
首先，你需要知道的是，谢利从小开始就打从心底为别人着想。
And he didn't think that it was fair for people to pay for electricity, so he was gonna power the entire town for free.
而他觉得要人们付电费这事太不公平了，所以他想要为全镇提供免费电力。
Tell her about the uranium! Tell her about the uranium.
告诉她铀的事！快告诉她铀的事。
Oh, well! Oh, this is adorable. When he arranged to get some yellowcake from Chad, I thought he was talking about Twinkies from one of his friends.
好！这事还挺好玩的。当他说要从乍得那里弄来黄饼[核反应燃料]时，我还以为他是要从朋友那里弄个夹馅面包之类的。
But I wasn't. 'Cause I didn't have any friends.
但其实不是，因为那时我没有任何朋友。
No. It turns out that this little scallywag was trying to use my Visa card to buy uranium from an African warlord in the country of Chad!
没有。后来才发现，这个小混蛋是要用我的信用卡去跟非洲国家"乍得"的军阀买铀！
Sounds like Sheldon was a handful.
听起来谢尔顿小时候是麻烦精啊。
Oh, he was a handful. I was a handful.
是啊，他小时候可麻烦了。我小时候是麻烦精。
You still are. Uh, Mom, hey, tell Mary the story about how I made a Van de Graaff generator out of our vacuum cleaner.
现在还是。妈，告诉玛丽那个我用家里的吸尘器来做出范德格拉夫起电机的事。
All right. He broke the vacuum cleaner.
好啊。他把吸尘器弄坏了。
I mean, for a while, everything was vampires. Now it's all zombies. I wonder what the next monster fad will be.
曾有一阵子，全都是吸血鬼。现在全换成了僵尸了。真不知道下一个潮流怪物会是什么。
We haven't had a good invisible man in a while.
貌似有段时间没看过隐形人了。
Clearly, you've never seen me try to talk to a woman.
显然你是从未看过我跟女人说话。
Guys. In the time you've been sitting here playing video games, I got the car washed, picked up cleaning supplies and went to the bank.
先生们。在你们坐在这里打电动的时间里，我把车开去洗了，把清洁用品买了，还去了趟银行。
I put on pants. Kiss-ass.
我把裤子穿上啦。马屁精。
Okay, I don't know when I became the mother to three lazy teenagers, but it stops today. You guys are cleaning the kitchen, top to bottom.
我不知道我从什么时候开始变成了三个懒鬼少年的妈妈，但一切到此为止。你们去把厨房打扫了，从上到下里里外外。
Hey, I don't even live here.
人家根本不住这里啊。
Yes or no, do you have clothes in my laundry right now?
那你回答我，我家洗衣房里有没有你的衣服？
I do. And some of it's wool, so dry flat if possible.
有。其中有些是羊毛的，尽量平摊晾干。
Oh, and here's a picture of me receiving my bachelor of science degree.
这张是我拿到学士学位时拍的照片。
You don't look very happy.
你看起来不是很开心啊。
Well, I had just begun puberty. It was figuratively and literally one of the hairiest moments of my life.
当时才刚开始进入青春期。所以无论从实际或比喻上来说，那都是我最"毛"孩子的一段日子。
Shelly does not like change.
谢利不喜欢改变。
Oh, true. But all the clenching in the world will not keep testicles in your abdomen.
是的。无论你再怎么缩腹蛋蛋还是会垂下去[长大]。
Hey, sorry, got caught up at work. Hi, Beverly!
抱歉，工作有点耽搁了。贝弗利，你来啦！
Hello. Oh, okay. Sorry, I forgot. You remember my mother.
你好啊。好吧。抱歉，我忘了。还记得我母亲吗。
Oh, yes. Hi, Mary! Good to see you again, dear.
记得。你好吗，玛丽！亲爱的，很高兴又见到你。
Ah, yeah, now that's what I'm talking about.
这才是我想要的。
So, Mom, you haven't seen Penny since we got engaged. Oh, yeah, let me show you the ring.
妈，我跟佩妮订婚后你还没见过她呢。对了，给你看看我的戒指。
Oh, lovely. Must have been very expensive.
很漂亮。肯定很贵吧。
Oh, no, not at all. No, we, uh, found a place online that, uh, repurposes diamond drill bits.
不，一点都不贵。我们在网上找到一家店能将金刚石钻头改成钻石。
We did not. That's not true. Can I speak to you alone for a second?
才不是呢。他乱说。我能跟你单独谈一下吗？
Oh, sure. It came from Tiffany's. You mean the box, right? Keep walking!
当然。这是从蒂芬妮买的。你说的是盒子对吧？继续走你的！
Really doesn't matter to me how much he spent on the ring. I think.
我一点都不在乎他在戒指上花了多少钱。大概吧。
Did I misspeak about the ring?
关于戒指的事我说错话了吗？
Yes, and we'll get back to that. But, uh, even with your mother here, you are deliberately hogging all the attention from my mom.
是的，那个我们等会再说。你自己的妈妈就在这儿，你却在故意霸占我妈全部的注意力。
You're like one of those elephant seal pups that steals the milk from two mothers!
你就像象海豹的幼崽，从两个妈妈那里抢奶喝！
Do you mean what marine biologists refer to as "super weaning"?
你指的是海洋生物学家所说的"超断奶机制"吧？
Yes, you are a super weaner!
对，你就是超"机吧"！
Well, now I have to correct you. A As a bit of an elephant seal buff, the more accurate comparison would be when two mother seals actively seek to nourish the same pup.
这我就要纠正你了。作为象海豹的小小爱好者，更准确的比喻，应该是当两只海豹妈妈都抢着给一只海豹幼崽喂奶。
So I believe the term you're looking for is a double mother suckler.
所以我觉得你想说的是双吸母奶婴。
Yeah, you're right. That is the term I'm looking for. You are a dirty double mother suckler!
你说得没错。我想说的就是这个词。你这个肮脏的双吸母奶婴！
Okay, well, now that we have the terminology straightened out. How dare you!
好吧，现在我们找到正确的名词了。你好大的胆子！
We're not in a rush. We'll set a date when the time is right.
我们不着急。等时机到了再定日子吧。
It doesn't matter, sweetie. The moment a man lays with a woman, they are married in the eyes of the Lord. Uch.
没关系，亲爱的。只要一个男人跟女人上床，在上帝眼里他们就已经结婚了。我去。
