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All right, all right, good news. I just found $3 in my pocket.
好了，好消息。我刚在我口袋发现3块钱。
Oh, and a peanut M&M, so we don't have to spend money on dinner.
还有一颗M&M花生巧克力豆，我们今晚不必花钱吃晚餐啦。
Caroline, why are you putting it off? You know what you have to do.
卡洛琳，别再闪躲了？该干嘛你自己知道。
Go over to the couch and put your hands in that crack.
乖乖伸手去掏沙发缝吧。
It's every poor girl's rite of passage.
每个穷姑娘都躲不过这件事
What? I think something just licked me.
怎么了？感觉有东西舔了我一下。
I'll just check our purses. Here's yours.
我检查我们的钱包吧，这是你的。
Uh, no, no, no. I already checked that. There's nothing in mine...
不用不用，我已经检查过了。我的钱包里没东西...
Except that baggie of pot that Keefer gave me as a Christmas present.
只有一袋大麻，那是琦芙送我的圣诞礼物。
Max, this is not a Christmas present.
麦克斯，这不是什么圣诞礼物。
This is a giant, illegal, fat sack of weed.
这是满满一大袋的非法大麻
Yeah, with a Rudolph sticker, which makes it a Christmas present.
对啊，可上面有个麋鹿贴纸，所以这是圣诞礼物啦。
See? His nose and his eyes are red.
看见没，他的红鼻子和红眼睛多喜庆。
I want this out of my sight. You gotta get rid of it.
我不想看见这玩意，你得让它消失。
Well, it's gonna take me at least 45 minutes to smoke all that.
我抽完这满满一袋至少得花45分钟呢。
Max, I'm serious, I'm not comfortable with that fat sack of weed.
麦克斯，我是说真的，我看着这满满一袋大麻觉得很别扭。
Stop saying "fat sack of weed." You're like someone's dad overusing the word "awesome."
别再用"满满一袋"这个词。你就像那种学了潮流词就猛用的中年父亲。
I'll just put it up here, next to the half a Vicodin I was saving for new year's.
我把它放上面吧，放在我留着新年嗑的半颗维柯丁旁边。
Oh, no! The pot! The pot is in the pot! It's in the butter I was using to make cupcakes.
别啊，我的大麻！我的大麻掉进锅里了！掉到我要用来做小蛋糕的那锅黄油里了。
Maybe this is the universe's way of telling you to stop doing drugs.
也许这是老天爷的旨意，让你不要跟毒品沾边。
Or is it telling us to sell them?
或是在指引我们拿去卖掉？
Max, we are not that desperate.
麦克斯，我们没穷到那个地步。
We're not making pot cupcakes. I'd rather just see what the holidays bring.
我们不用做大麻小蛋糕的。我宁愿期待节日会带来什么惊喜。
Well, this isn't Bethlehem, it's Brooklyn.
这里不是伯利恒，这里是布鲁克林。
There's no frankincense and myrrh, there's only frankenberry and "Myrrh-ajuana."
这里既没乳香，也无没药，这里只有"屌香"和"大麻药"。
