Alas! If I join St. John, I abandon half myself: if I go to India, I go to premature death. [qh]

哎呀！要是我跟着他，我就抛弃了我的一半。我去印度就是走向过早的死亡。[qh]

And how will the interval between leaving England for India, and India for the grave, be filled? [qh]

而离开英国到印度和离开印度到坟墓之间的空隙，又是如何填补呢？[qh]

Oh, I know well! That, too, is very clear to my vision. [qh]

我也看得清清楚楚。[qh]

By straining to satisfy St. John till my sinews ache, I shall satisfy him -- to the finest central point and farthest outward circle of his expectations.[qh]

为了使圣·约翰满意，我会忙个不停，直弄得肌肉酸痛。我会使他满意——做得丝毫不辜负他的希望。[qh]

If I do go with him -- if I do make the sacrifice he urges, [qh]

要是我真的跟他去了——要是我真的作出他所怂恿的牺牲，[qh]

I will make it absolutely: I will throw all on the altar -- heart, vitals, the entire victim. [qh]

那我会做得很彻底。我会把一切心灵和肉体——都扔到圣坛上，作出全部牺牲。[qh]

He will never love me; but he shall approve me; [qh]

他决不会爱我，但他会赞许我的做法。[qh]

I will show him energies he has not yet seen, resources he has never suspected. [qh]

我会向他显示他尚未见过的能力和他从不表示怀疑的才智。[qh]

Yes, I can work as hard as he can, and with as little grudging.[qh]

不错，我会像他那样奋力工作，像他那样毫无怨言。”[qh]

"Consent, then, to his demand is possible: but for one item -- one dreadful item. [qh]

“那么有可能同意他的要求了，除了一条，可怕的一条。[qh]

It is -- that he asks me to be his wife, and has no more of a husband's heart for me than that frowning giant of a rock, down which the stream is foaming in yonder gorge.

也就是他要我做他的妻子，而他那颗为丈夫的心，并不比那边峡谷中小溪泛起泡沫流过的阴沉的巨岩强多少。[qh]

He prizes me as a soldier would a good weapon; and that is all. [qh]

他珍视我就象士兵珍视一个好的武器，仅此而已。[qh]

Unmarried to him, this would never grieve me; [qh]

不同他结婚，这决不会使我担忧。[qh]

but can I let him complete his calculations -- coolly put into practice his plans -- go through the wedding ceremony? [qh]

可是我能使他如愿以偿——冷静地将计划付诸实践——举行婚礼吗？[qh]

Can I receive from him the bridal ring, endure all the forms of love (which I doubt not he would scrupulously observe) and know that the spirit was quite absent?[qh]

我能从他那儿得到婚戒，受到爱的一切礼遇（我不怀疑他会审慎地做到）而心里却明白完全缺乏心灵的交流？[qh]