n. 仁慈,好意
My earliest memory was of taking our only vacuum bottle to the public canteen for drinking water. Weakened by hunger, I dropped the bottle and broke it. Scared witless, I hid all that day in a haystack. Toward evening, I heard my mother calling my childhood name, so I crawled out of my hiding place, prepared to receive a beating or a scolding. But Mother didn’t hit me, didn’t even scold me. She just rubbed my head and heaved a sigh.
我记忆中最痛苦的一件事,就是跟着母亲去集体的地理拣麦穗,看守麦田的人来了,拣麦穗的人纷纷逃跑,我母亲是小脚,跑不快,被捉住,那个身材高大的看守人煽了她一个耳光,她摇晃着身体跌倒在地,看守人没收了我们拣到的麦穗,吹着口哨扬长而去。我母亲嘴角流血,坐在地上,脸上那种绝望的神情深我终生难忘。多年之后,当那个看守麦田的人成为一个白发苍苍的老人,在集市上与我相逢,我冲上去想找他报仇,母亲拉住了我,平静的对我说:“儿子,那个打我的人,与这个老人,并不是一个人。”
My most painful memory involved going out in the collective’s field with Mother to glean ears of wheat. The gleaners scattered when they spotted the watchman. But Mother, who had bound feet, could not run; she was caught and slapped so hard by the watchman, a hulk of a man, that she fell to the ground. The watchman confiscated the wheat we’d gleaned and walked off whistling. As she sat on the ground, her lip bleeding, Mother wore a look of hopelessness I’ll never forget. Years later, when I encountered the watchman, now a gray-haired old man, in the marketplace, Mother had to stop me from going up to avenge her. “Son,” she said evenly, “the man who hit me and this man are not the same person.”
我记得最深刻的一件事是一个中秋节的中午,我们家难得的包了一顿饺子,每人只有一碗。正当我们吃饺子时,一个乞讨的老人来到了我们家门口,我端起半碗红薯干打发他,他却愤愤不平地说:“我是一个老人,你们吃饺子,却让我吃红薯干。你们的心是怎么长的?”我气急败坏的说:“我们一年也吃不了几次饺子,一人一小碗,连半饱都吃不了!给你红薯干就不错了,你要就要,不要就滚!”母亲训斥了我,然后端起她那半碗饺子,倒进了老人碗里。
My clearest memory is of a Moon Festival day, at noontime, one of those rare occasions when we ate jiaozi at home, one bowl apiece. An aging beggar came to our door while we were at the table, and when I tried to send him away with half a bowlful of dried sweet potatoes, he reacted angrily: “I’m an old man,” he said. “You people are eating jiaozi, but want to feed me sweet potatoes. How heartless can you be?” I reacted just as angrily: “We’re lucky if we eat jiaozi a couple of times a year, one small bowlful apiece, barely enough to get a taste! You should be thankful we’re giving you sweet potatoes, and if you don’t want them, you can get the hell out of here!” After (dressing me down) reprimanding me, Mother dumped her half bowlful of jiaozi into the old man’s bowl.
我最后悔的一件事,就是跟着母亲去卖白菜,有意无意的多算了一位买白菜的老人一毛钱。算完钱我就去了学校。当我放学回家时,看到很少流泪的母亲泪流满面。母亲并没有骂我,只是轻轻的说:“儿子,你让娘丢了脸。”
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