Step #4: Then... stop talking!

第四步：然后……停止讲话！

Bill Keith, 29, from Hudson, OH, has a knack for charming everyone around him. He says his secret is knowing when to stop yapping and start listening. “People aren’t used to having other people really listen to them, so that’s how I win a lot of people over,” he says. So whether he’s remarking about an old Madonna song that just came on the supermarket muzak (which is how he met his best friend) or asking someone at Starbucks which shaker has cocoa and which has cinnamon and whether really makes a difference, Keith opens the door to a chat and then shuts his mouth. His new acquaintance walks away feeling connected since Keith lavished on some personal attention.z

　　比尔·凯思（Bill Keith），29岁，来自俄亥俄州的哈德逊河流域，在将别人都吸引到自己身边来，他有绝招。他说秘密就在于他知道什么时候该闭嘴，开始倾听。“人们不习惯叫别人倾听自己说的话，那是我赢得很多的注意的关键，”他说道。所以不管他对商场里（在那里他遇到了自己最好的朋友）播放的麦当娜的一首老歌评论时还是在星巴克咖啡厅问别人哪个混合器里的是可可豆，哪个是肉桂，还问道它们中哪一个味道好一点。凯思为别人开启了一扇谈话之门，然后自己闭嘴。他新认识的人在和他谈完话走开后感到他与凯思的心境是相同的，因为凯思给了他一些特别的注意。

How to practice it: Next time you start a conversation, make an effort to ask the person you’re chatting with at least three questions before making another observation of your own. That will get you in the groove of letting the other person open up to you... and it shows your level of appreciation for what someone else has to say. And when people feel appreciated, chances are, they’ll want to continue that conversation.

　　怎样实行：下次在开始一段对话前，问正在与你谈话的人三个问题，然后再发表你的另一个意见。那样一来，你就处于有利地位，别人就会在你面前开口讲话…… 同时也展示出你对别人要说的话的欣赏态度。然而一旦别人感觉自己被欣赏，机会就来了。他们会想要继续跟你谈话。