评论
打印
I'm late, I know.
我迟到了，我知道
I just got a text from Chestnut.
我刚接到栗宝的短信
"Where are you? I'm wearing my best suit."
他问："你们在哪呢？我穿着最好的西装恭候大驾呢"
He spelled suit with a four, but that's pretty good for a horse.
他把西装打成"四"装，不过马蹄打字，情有可原
I have a good reason.
我有正当理由
15 chicken pot pies. Regular price: $1.47. Coupon price: Free!
15个鸡肉饼，原价1块47分，折价后，免费
'Cause I bought 15 and used the double coupon in-store sale combo.
因为我买了15个，用双倍折价券正好免费
Listen to me with the lingo already.
瞧我折价界行话说的多溜啊
Reminds me of my first day interning on Wall Street.
让我想起去华尔街实习的第一天
Chicken pot pies? You don't even like them.
鸡肉饼？你自己都不爱吃
What does it matter if I like them or not? They were free.
我爱不爱吃又如何？反正是免费的
It's free money. Who doesn't like free money?
不要钱啊。谁不喜欢天上掉馅饼的好事
I don't know about free money,
天上有没有掉馅饼我不知道
but this is like watching someone free base for the first time.
我只知道某人看起来像第一次尝到毒品甜头似的
Chestnut's fine. It's not a big deal.
栗宝没事的。晚个一天又不会怎么样
Ooh, oh, I just got another text from Chestnut.
哎哟，栗宝又给我发来一条短信
"I'm so lonely, I just tried smoking."
"我好孤单哦，唯有以烟慰籍"
We can go tomorrow.
我们可以明天去看他嘛
In the Lifetime movie version, we just missed the day we were appointed by the court,
如果这是生活台的剧，那剧情就是，我们错过法庭指定的日子
and Chestnut's new parents move him out of town. And we cry.
现在栗宝要被新爸妈带去别城市了。然后我们泪洒当场
I get it, it's just that after last night,
我明白，只是昨晚尝过甜头后
I woke up fascinated by the concept of coupons.
我就对折价券的好念念不忘，连醒来都想着
So I did some research.
所以我上网搜了下
I found this woman online who calls herself the Williamsburg Coupon Queen.
搜到网上有名奇女子自封为"威廉斯堡折价券女皇"
Only she calls them "Cue-pons." Is that the correct way to pronounce it?
只不过她念成折"家"券。难道那样才是正确的念法吗
Eh, I'm gonna go with her way after all, she is the queen.
算了，我也那样念吧。毕竟人家才是女皇嘛
Canned pumpkin?
罐装南瓜
Ten cans, double coupon, five cents each.
10罐，双倍折扣后，5分钱一罐
Great, 'cause I'm always lying in bed at night thinking I wish I could crack open a can of pumpkin.
太好了，我一直有个晚上躺床上想着要能开一罐南瓜会有多爽的梦呢
Oh, and I found a coupon for you to send your mom an edible arrangement for her birthday.
我找到了个折"家"券，你可以送给你妈，一个可自选的花篮当生日礼物
A pretty pineapple daisy says so much more than cash in a card.
一朵凤梨雕的雏菊比贺卡夹现金有意义多了
And it's for 40% off the regular price.
而且能打六折呢
That's perfect because my mom was 40% off a regular mom.
太巧了，我妈也是个六折妈
And Max, I do have something else for you in this bag.
麦克斯，袋子里还有要给你的小礼物哦
Somet'hing that'll make you very happy.
你见了包准欣喜若狂哟
Canned yams for when I get tired of canned pumpkin?
开腻南瓜罐后，换口味的地瓜罐吗
Better, look.
比那个还棒，你瞧
Look out, Han Lee. I'm about to get my tamp on.
接招吧，李憨。老娘要"棉"起抗战啦
