Rachel: Here you go Pheebs. Who else wants one of my special homemade brownies?

Chandler: I will have one. Yeah, I'm not gonna have one. Neither will I.

Phoebe: No, no, it's just my tooth.

Chandler: All right I'll have one.

Ross: So what's a matter, you need a dentist? I've got a good one.

Phoebe: Um, thanks, I have a good one too. I just, I, I can't see him.

Chandler: See, that is the problem with invisible dentists.

You know, it's very unsettling to see all those metal tools just you know flying around.

Ross: Why? Why can't you go to him?

Phoebe: Because, every time I go to the dentist, somebody dies.

Chandler: That is so weird, because every time I go to the dentist, I look down the hygienist's blouse.

Rachel: Phoebe, what? Umm...what? !

Phoebe: Yeah, yeah, first there was my aunt Mary, and then there was umm, John, my mailman, and then my, my cowboy friend 'Albino Bob'.

Rachel: And all these people actually died?

Phoebe: Yes, while I was in the chair! That's why I take such good care of my teeth now, you know, it's not about oral hygiene, I floss to save lives!

Ross: Pheebs, come on, you didn't kill anybody, these people just happened to die when you went to the dentist. It's, it's, it's just ah, a coincidence.

Phoebe: Well tell that to them. Oh! You can't, they're dead.

Ross: Thanks, Gunther. Hey! Umm, can I get a napkin too?

Gunther: Oh, like you don't already have everything.

Phoebe: Ow! Ow!

Rachel: Phoebe, you're in pain, would you just go to the dentist, just go.

Phoebe: All right, fine, fine, but if you're my next victim, don't come back as a poltergeist and like suck me into the TV set.

Rachel: I promise.

Phoebe: Although, don't feel like you can't visit.

Joey: Hey, you guy, is is Chandler here?

Ross: No, no he's not.

Monica: You guys, Joey just saw Janice kissing her ex husband.

Phoebe: Oh!

Ross: What? So what're you gonna do? I mean how, how're you gonna tell Chandler?

Joey: Well, I was thinking about that and I, I think the best way would be, to not.

Rachel: Joey, you can't keep this to yourself, if you know about this, you have to tell him.

Joey: It'll kill him. I mean it'll, it'll just kill him.

Phoebe: Well, you could wait till I go to the dentist, maybe I'll kill him.

Joey: Ewww! Ugly Naked Guy is using his new hammock. It's like a Play Doh Fat Factory.

Phoebe: Well, I'm going to the dentist, so listen, ok, just be on the look out for anything that, that, that you can fall into, or, or that can fall on you, or...

just look out! Ok, And um, I also just wanna, I just wanna tell you all that um...

Ross: Ok, I have a problem I have to go into work for a few hours, some kids messed up the Homo Sapiens display.

Joey: What did they do?

Ross: Well, they painted over the word 'Sapien' for one thing, then they rearranged the figures, let's just leave it at that.

Monica: So, do you want me to watch Ben for you?

Ross: Yes, that's what I was gonna ask, thank you. Whoa! Wait! Hello! What about me?

Ross: You? You! Want to watch Ben? Yes! That'd be great, no, I just asked Monica because I know how, empty her life is.

Joey: Hey hey, Ross? Yeah.

Joey: I got a science question. Hmm?

Joey: If the Homo Sapiens, were in fact 'Homo sapiens', is that why there extinct?

Ross: Joey, Homo Sapiens are people.

Joey: Hey hey, I'm not judging.

Rachel: Look Benny, spoon. Spoon. Come on! All right, you know what, I think he's bored.

Monica: Here. Ben, do you wanna play the airplane game, you wanna show Rachel? Come here. We're gonna do something fun. Ok. Weee! ! Weee! !

Monica: Who's so brave, you're so brave, yes you are, you're so brave.

Rachel: Ok. Ok honey, he's fine, he's fine, let's just put him down. Come here, Ben. See that's a good boy.

How could you do that to him! ! Ross trusted me, what is he gonna say? !

Monica: He's not gonna say anything, because we're not gonna tell him. We're not? ! No we're not. All right, I like that. Ok.

Rachel: So we're ok, we're ok, we're ok, aren't we? No, we're not ok, we're not ok, there's a bump, there's a bump.

Monica: What bump? Oh my God! Well push it in! Push it in!

Rachel: I cannot push it in!

Monica: Ok, we're gonna need a distraction. Ok.

Monica: That's it. Ok.

Monica: I got it! Ok.

Monica: The second that Ross walks in that door, I want you take him back to your bedroom and you do whatever it is that you do that makes him go, rweee! !

Rachel: Or, We could put a hat on his head.

Monica: A hat! Yes! We need a hat. We need a hat... Where are we gonna find a tiny little hat? Oh, oh, oh, I'll get 'Rainy Day Bear'! !

Monica: Because he'll know what to do? Oh my God, you're a genius!

Rachel: Oh God, it's kinda sewed on though.

Monica: Give it. Give it. Ok. Monica and Oh! !

Rachel: Oh, it's just like a bloodbath in here today.

Chandler: Hey! Hold on a sec, hold on a sec. You think these pearls are nice?

Joey: I'd really prefer a mountain bike.

Chandler: Janice's birthday is coming up, I wanna get her something special. Come in here with me.

Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, whoa. You ah, you wanna get her something special, get her flowers, get her candy, get her gum, girls love gum.

Chandler: That's a good idea, 'Dear Janice, have a Hubba Bubba birthday'. I would like to get her something serious.

Joey: Oh, you want something serious. You know what you should do, you should get her one of those um, barium enemas. Those are dead serious, you know? And you know she'll never get one for herself.

Chandler: All right. Look, I'm gonna go in here, and you don't buy me anything ever.

Joey: No, no, you can't, you can't, ok, you can't, you can't buy her pearls, you just can't, you can't, you can't, you can't. Why not? !

Joey: Oh God. Uh, ok, here's the thing, this is the thing, ok, the thing is... What is the thing? Ok. I went down to the Mattress King showroom and, and I saw Janice kissing her ex husband.

Chandler: What?

Joey: They were in his office.

Chandler: Well she, she wouldn't do that, she's, she's with me.

Joey: I'm telling you man, I saw it.

Chandler: Yeah, well, you're wrong! Ok, you're wrong.

Joey: I'm not wrong! I wish I was. I'm sorry. Bet that barium enema doesn't sound so bad now, huh?

Monica: It just makes more sense as an ensemble. Right. Besides, it takes the focus off the hat.

Phoebe: No! Oh! You're alive! You're alive!

Rachel: See Pheebs, I promised you no one would die, didn't I? Yeah, well, we'll see about that. Can I use your phone? I just wanna call everyone I know.

Monica: Sure, we have no money, go ahead.

Phoebe: 'Hey! You're not dead! Ok, see ya!'

Ben: Monica.

Monica: Oh my God! He just said my name! Did you hear that?

Ben: Monica bang!

Rachel: Ok, I heard that.

Monica: Did he just say 'Monica bang'? Uh huh.

Monica: Oh my God! He's gonna rat me out!

Ben: Monica bang!

Monica: Oh ho ho, sweetie, sweetie, you gotta stop saying that now. It's no big deal, it's not even worth mentioning, you see, we all do it all the time.

See, watch this, Ben, Ben, Ben. Ow, Monica bang! Everybody bang. Ben bang. Rachel bang. Bang, Rachel, bang! Oh, isn't that fun?

Rachel: Look at that! Look at that! We all do it. Ok, I'm stopping now. You ok?

Rachel: Oh yeah! You know, if it's not a headboard, it's just not worth it.

Janice: How's my Bing a ling?

Chandler: Ah, I don't know, you you tell me. Anything you ah, you wanna tell me? because, if you ah, you should, if you, you would, tell me.

Janice: Why are your eyes so wide?

Chandler: You tell me! Maybe, it's because I was just fooling around with my ex! Oh no no no no, no no no no, that was you! !

Janice: Oh my God! ! All right! How did you know? Joey told me, he saw you two kissing.

Janice: In the park?

Chandler: No! In his office! How many kisses were there?

Janice: Just those two!

Chandler: Wh wh why, wh why, why, why was there kissing! ? There should be no kissing! !

Janice: Oh, I'm sorry honey, I'm so, so, haaaaa! I'm so, so sorry, I just haaaaaa! But I, oh what happened was, I I I can't breathe. Can you get me a bag, or something?

Chandler: Here. Here.

Janice: It's the receipt.

Chandler: I'll take it! All right look, I've gotta know. Are you finished with me? Are you finished with him?

Do you still love him? Do you still love me? All right look, I'm gonna need an actual answer here ok? So which is it, him or me?