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Really? Remember Twinkles?
真的吗？还记得亮亮吗？
He was a hamster. I'm not gonna vacuum up my baby!
他是只仓鼠，我又不会拿吸尘器吸我的宝宝！
Okay, come on, Rach. It's present time!
快来吧，瑞秋，拆礼物的时间到了！
You know you're the glue holding this whole party together. It's kinda falling apart here.
你是这个派对的主角。现在这个派对也快毁了。
Oh, look! Wow!
你看！ 哇！
They came this is from your friends at work.
这是你同事送的。
Oh, my gosh! Oh, wow! Oh, I know what this is.
天啊！哇！我知道这是什么。
Wait a minute. That can't be right. Is that a beer bong for a baby?
等一下。不可能啊。这是宝宝啤酒机吗？
Darling, that's a breast pump.
女儿，那是挤奶器。
Did I say I was done guessing? Okay, thank you for that. Oh, wow! What's this?
我说过我猜完了吗？好吧，谢谢。哇，这是什么？
It's a Diaper Genie. It dispenses clean diapers!
是尿布精灵？ 是用来放干净尿布的！
No. It's where you put dirty ones.
不，那是放脏尿布的。
Well that's gross, why don't you just take it outside and throw it in a dumpster?
真恶心。为什么不直接把脏尿布丢在外面的垃圾桶里？
Oh you're gonna do that ten times a day?
你每天要丢十次吗？
What, it goes 10 times a day? Are we feeding this baby Indian food?
什么？宝宝一天可以拉十次？难道我们给她喂的是印度食物吗？
No dear, that's what babies do. No, dear.
不，宝宝都是那样的。
Rachel, listen to your mother. She is very smart.
瑞秋，听你妈妈的话，她非常聪明。
Plus, what are you planning on doing with the baby while you're trotting out to the garbage ten times a day?
再说，你去倒垃圾的时候你的宝宝该怎么办？
I don't know, I'd leave it on the changing table?
我不知道，把她放在尿布桌上？
What? What did I do? What did I do?
怎么？我做错了什么？
You can't leave a baby alone.
你不能丢下宝宝一个人。
Oh come Of course, I know that! Of course you never leave a baby alone.
我当然知道，千万不能丢下宝宝一个人。
I mean who would she wouldn't be safe, you know, not as she would be with me, the baby dummy. Oh God.
那样……她会很不安全。她跟我这个菜鸟妈妈在一起也会不安全。
OK.You know what? Opening the presents is a little overwhelming right now. So I think umm, I'm just gonna maybe open them all a little bit later, but thank you all for coming. And for these beautiful gifts, and this basket is beautiful.
这样吧，现在拆礼物让我有点不知所措。我待会再把礼物都拆开。谢谢你们赶来，还送了礼物。这个篮子很漂亮。
It's actually a bassinet.
那其实是个摇篮。
Okay, Mommy, don't ever leave me.
好吧，妈妈，别离开我。
In what John Houston film would you hear this line, "Badges? We don't need no stinking badges!"
这是约翰·休斯顿哪部电影里的台词，"警徽？我们不需要臭警徽！"
Treasure of the Sierra Madre!
《碧血金沙》！
Correct! There's a possible backwards bonus!
答对了！倒念还能加分！
Madre Sierra the of Treasure! Yes!
沙金血碧。 对！
I'd like to go up the Ladder of Chance to the Golden Mud Hut, please!
我要爬上机会梯到金泥屋去。
Wise choice. How many rungs? Six!
明智的选择。几阶？ 六阶！
That noise can only mean one thing. Hungry Monkey!
那个声音只代表一种东西。 饥饿的猴子！
I'd like a Wicked Wango Card. Okay.
我要魔法机会卡。 好。
It's an audio question. Name this television theme song:
这是声音题。说出这出电视剧的主题曲。
Oh, my God. I know this, give me give me a second!
天啊。我知道，让我想一想。
Tell it to the Time Turtle! Shut up!
去跟时间乌龟说吧！ 闭嘴！
Ross:"I Dream of Jeannie"! Yes! Yes, you're back in the lead!
《太空仙女恋》！ 答对了，你再度领先！
I'd like to spin the Wheel.
我要转轮子。
Oh, come on!
快点！
Super Speedy Speed Round.
超级快速答题回合。
Is there a Hopping Bonus? Of course.
跳跃有加分吗？ 当然。
Who invented bifocals? Ben Franklin!
谁发明了双焦点透镜？ 本·富兰克林！
Correct. Which monarch ruled Great Britain the longest?
答对了 哪位君王统治英国最久
Queen Victoria! Correct again.
维多莉亚女王。 再次正确。
But you forgot to switch legs between questions. So, no Hopping Bonus!
但你忘了换题时要换腿跳。所以跳跃动作不加分！
Ohhh! Every time!
每次都这样！
Yeah. Now over to Chandler. I'd like a Google Card.
对。现在轮到钱德勒了。 我要搜索卡。
Are you sure? Yes! No! Google!
你确定吗？ 对！不！搜索卡！
Oh, my God! Congratulations, Ross! Because, Chandler...you've been Bamboozled!
天啊！恭喜你，罗斯，因为钱德勒……你已经出局了！
No! Yes! This is the best game ever!
不！ 对。 这是我玩过最棒的游戏！
So umm, you're gonna stay with me as long as I need you?
只要我有需要，你就会留下来吗？
Of course, I am.
当然了。
Oh mom, I swear I'm not an idiot. I read all kinds of books on pregnancy and giving birth, but I I just didn't think to read the part about what to do when the baby comes.
妈，我发誓我不是白痴。我看了各种有关怀孕跟生产的书。但我没想到要去看带孩子方面的书。
And and then guess what? The baby's coming and I don't know what to do. Oh, can I throw up in my Diaper Genie?
可现在呢，宝宝就快要出生了，我却不知道该怎么办。我可以吐在尿布精灵里吗？
Sweetie, you're gonna be fine.
甜心，你会没事的。
Wait wait where're you going? Where're you going? I'm going to the bathroom.
你要去哪里？ 我得上洗手间。
Now, don't worry. Everything's gonna be okay.
别担心，一切都会没事的。
It is gonna be okay! Worth a shot.
确实会没事的！这值得一试。
Hey! Hey! Why are you all red and sweaty?
嗨。 嗨。你干嘛满脸通红全身是汗？
I just Bamboozled Chandler!
我刚刚干掉了钱德勒！
Which is not a sexual thing. That was a quick shower.
我对他没有不轨行为。欢迎会这么快就结束了。
Not if you were here.
那是因为你没参加。
Wow! Looks like we got a lot of good stuff.
看来我们收到不少礼物。
Oh we did, but my mom got us the greatest gift of all.
没错，我妈给了我们最棒的礼物。
A Play Doh Barbershop?
培乐多理发师玩具组？
No. She's going to live with us for eight weeks.
不是，她要搬过来跟我们住八星期。
What?
什么？
Yes! She's gonna help us take care of the baby!
对，她要帮我们照顾宝宝！
What You're not serious. I mean she's a very nice woman, but there is no way we can take eight weeks of her.
你不是认真的吧！她是个好人，但我们无法忍受她八个星期。
She'll drive us totally crazy. Hi, Ross!
她会把我们逼疯。 嗨，罗斯。
Hey, roomie!
嘿，室友！
Hey, Joey, hi! I'm Ray. I'm the producer of the show.
乔伊，我是雷，本节日的制作人。
It's a pleasure to meet you, Ray.
很荣幸能见到你，雷。
And this is Duncan and Erin, they're gonna help us outwith the audition. So uh, let's get the camera rolling.
他们是唐肯跟艾玲，他们会帮你试镜。现在开拍吧。
Righty O Ray! Whenever you're ready.
好的，雷。 你准备好了就开始。
Hello. I'm Joey Tribbiani. Let's play Bamboozled!
大家好，我是乔伊·崔比安尼。我们来玩晕头转向吧！
Erin, you get the first question. In hockey, who is known as "The Great One"?
艾玲，你先来作答。在曲棍球史上，谁被称为是"伟人"？
Gretzky. Correct!
葛瑞斯基。 答对了！
Now, would you like to pick a Wicked Wango Card or spin the Wheel of Mayhem?
你要挑魔法机会卡还是旋转处罚轮？
Uh Joey, didn't your agents give you the revised rules? We've eliminated all that. No wheel, no cards.
你的经纪人没把改过的游戏规则给你吗？我们把那些东西都删掉了。没有轮子或机会卡。
What-Why? !
什么？为什么？
Uh, well, the game was too complicated and research showed people didn't follow it.
之前的游戏太复杂了，调查显示观众无法理解。
Well what's complicated?
哪里复杂了？
You spin the Wheel of Mayhem to go up the Ladder of Chance. You go past the Mud Hut through the Rainbow Ring to get to the Golden Monkey; you yank his tail and boom! You're in Paradise Pond!
转处罚轮，上机会梯穿越彩虹环，经过泥屋找到金猴。拉它的尾巴就能到天堂池！
Yeah all that's gone. Um, it's basically just a simple question and answer game now.
对，那些都删掉了。现在这只是个简单的问答游戏。
Well, what's fun about that? You expect me to be the host of a boring game that's just people standing around answering questions?
那有什么好玩的呢？你要我主持这个无聊的游戏，就只是几个人站在那里傻傻地回答问题？
Well, there'll be women in bikinis holding up the scores.
会有比基尼女郎举得分板。
Let's play Bamboozled!
我们来玩晕头转向吧！
And all those dinosaur knick knacks you have, Ross, I I thought they might be more at home in the garage.
你买的那些恐龙小玩意，罗斯我觉得还是放在车库里比较合适。
Well we...we don't have a garage.
我们没有车库。
Did I say garage? I meant garbage.
我说车库吗？我是说垃圾桶。
You know what, Mrs. Green? Maybe it's not absolutely vital that you live with us.
你知道吗，格林太太？你不一定要跟我们住在一起。
What Rachel needs help with the baby.
瑞秋需要人帮忙带孩子。
I do. I really do. I don't know anything.
真的，我什么都不会。
Oh, I'm I'm sure that's not true.
我相信那不是真的。
Oh, no? Pheebs, Monica, do I know anything about babies?
是吗，菲比，莫妮卡，我会带孩子吗？
No. Not a thing. It's frightening.
啥都不会。 令人发指。
Well uh, you know what? Even if she doesn't know anything, I do.
就算她不会，但是我会。
I have a son. And his mother and I didn't live together. When he was with me, I took care of him all the time, by myself.
我有个儿子，他妈妈跟我没有住在一起。他跟我一起住时，我都是自己照顾他。
That's true. You do have another child. Yeah.
没错，你还有一个孩子。 对。
With another woman. Have you no control, Ross?
跟另一个女人生的。你没有自制力吗，罗斯？
That's a different issue.
那是另一个问题。
The point is, when the baby comes, I will be there to...to feed her and bathe her and change her. And more than that, I want to do all those things.
重点是宝宝出生后，我会帮忙喂她吃饭，帮她洗澡，换尿布。更重要的是，我愿意照顾她。
Well then you really don't need me to live with you. Yes!
那你们真的不需要我搬过去。 对！
Yes. You're gonna be so missed.
对。我会想念你的。
You're gonna be a great father. Well you're gonna be a wonderful grandma.
你会是个好爸爸。 你会是个好外婆。
Hello? I still don't know what the hell I'm doing!
喂？我还是不知道我该做什么！
Come on, every first time mother feels that way. You'll you you're gonna pick it up.
新手妈妈都会有那种感觉。你可以慢慢学。
Hey! You will! Uh look, you know when you first came to the city? You were this spoiled helpless little girl who who still used daddy's credit card. Do you remember?
你可以的。看，你刚到纽约来的时候你是个被宠坏的无助小女孩，只会用爸爸的信用卡，记得吗？
I hope you're going somewhere with this.
我希望你下面的话有点建设性。
Look at you! What You're you're this big executive! You are much more capable than you give yourself credit for. I I have no doubt you're gonna be an incredible mother.
看看你，你现在是个大主管了。你比自己想象中能干多了。我相信你会是个好妈妈。
Really? I'm telling you.
真的吗？ 没错。
Thank you.
谢谢。
All right, you two. I'm gonna get going.
好吧，我得走了。
Oh no no no no sweetheart, you stay put. I'll let myself out. It's like I'm not here, which I almost wasn't.
不，亲爱的，别送了。我自己出去。就当我没来过，我差点真的来不了。
You're still so funny. You're so funny. What do I do?
你真的太幽默了。我到底该怎么办？
Nothing. You have apologized to her, like, a million times. And she's been nothing but terrible to you.
没什么，你跟她道过很多次歉了。结果她对你的态度还是一样恶劣。
And don't forget, you just threw her daughter a lovely, albeit slightly boring, shower. And she hasn't even thanked you for it.
别忘了，你刚刚帮她女儿办了个稍显无聊的温馨欢迎会。她甚至都没有谢谢你。
You know what? You're you're right.
你说得对。
Yeah I mean if you wanna say anything to her, I'd tell her off.
你有什么话想跟她说，直说无妨。
Really?
真的吗？
Okay, I will. Mrs. Green? Mrs. Green?
好吧，我会的。格林太太？格林太太？
It is rude to leave a party without saying goodbye to the host. Yeah, and and also, when someone apologizes to you, the decent thing to do is to accept it.
不跟主人道别就离开派对是很无礼的。如果有人跟你道歉，得体的做法是接受道歉。
'Cause what I did to you, it wasn't on purpose! But what you're during to me now, it's just plain spiteful!
我对你的所作所为并非故意！但你对我的态度太恶毒了。
Spiteful? That's right.
恶毒？ 没错。
Maybe it's time you took a good, hard look in the mirror, young lady! Old lady! Lady!
你该好好去照镜子了，小姑娘！老太婆！女士！
Wrap it up. Wrap it up. Wrap it up.
别说了。
So whenever you're ready to apologize to me, I will forgive you. Good day.
只要你准备好跟我道歉，我会原谅你的。再见。
I can't feel my legs!
我的腿没有感觉了！
You were fantastic! I'm so proud of you.
你真的太棒了！我以你为荣。
Yeah? I'm proud of me too. You should be.
是吗？我也以自己为荣。 你应该的。
Yeah could could could you get me something to drink? You got it!
你能帮我拿杯饮料吗？ 没问题！
Mrs. Green! Ok I'm really sorry! I'm apologizing for the Ok, I bit my tongue, but I'm still really sorry!
格林太太，我真的很抱歉！对不起。如果你……好吧，我咬到舌头了！但我真的很抱歉！
Okay, I'm ready. You sure?
好吧，我准备好了。 你确定？
Yes. I've done my studying, and I really know my stuff.
对。我看过书，把一切都搞清楚了。
All right, then. Rachel Green, let's play Bamboozled!
好吧。瑞秋·格林，我们来玩晕头转向！
How do you test the temperature of the baby's bath water?
你该如何测试宝宝洗澡水的温度？
Uh, put your elbow in it. Excellent! How do you put a baby down for a nap?
用手肘去试。 非常好！如何哄宝宝小睡？
Full, dry, on its back, and no loose covers.
喂饱她，换尿布，仰卧，被子盖紧。
That's correct! This is an audio question. What do you do when a baby makes this sound?
答对了！这题是声音题。宝宝发出这种声音时你该怎么办？
Check if it's wet, check if it's hungry, burp it!
检查她是尿湿或饿了，帮她拍背！
Excellent! Excellent! Now do you want another question or a Wicked Wango Card?
太棒了！你要再回答一题或抽魔法机会卡？
A card! A card! I pick a card! Oh, I'm sorry.
我要抽卡！ 对不起。
You've been Bamboozled! You're gonna be a terrible mother!
你出局了！你会是个糟糕的妈妈！
I've lost sight of why we're doing this!
我忘记我们这么做的初衷是什么了！
