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Oh. Wow. Yeah, that sounds great.
听起来很棒。
I'm just gonna put this back in my pocket and pretend that didn't happen.
我现在就把这个放回口袋假装什么都没发生过。
Uh yeah, actually I'm free now. You wanna grab some coffee or...
我现在就有空。你想喝杯咖啡吗？
Sure. Horny bitch.
没问题。 饥渴的贱人。
No, you're a horny bitch! No, you're a horny bitch! No, you're a horny bitch!
不，你才是个饥渴的贱人！不，你才是个饥渴的贱人！不，你才是个饥渴的贱人！
So you guys go and have a really good time.
祝你们玩得愉快。
Yeah I'm just gonna grab my coat. And uh, and my whip. You know because of Indiana Jones?
我去拿我的外套跟鞭子。因为我像印第安纳·琼斯。
Not not because I'm I'm into S&M.I'm not I'm not into anything weird. You know? Just just normal sex. So, I'm gonna grab my coat.
不是因为我喜欢性虐待。我没有怪癖，你知道吗？我只喜欢一般的性爱。我去拿外套。
So you had a good day, huh? Big commission, picked up a daddy.
你今天过得很不错嘛！赚了一大笔佣金，泡上了准爸爸。
Are you okay with this?
你对这事没意见吧？
Oh, yeah. Yeah, please. You guys have fun.
当然，拜托，你们好好玩吧。
Okay. It was nice to see you.
好吧。很高兴能见到你。
Oh, and it was great to see you too. And you look fantastic.
我也是。你看起来漂亮极了。
Although you missed a button. Oh, umm, actually I umm...
不过你有颗扣子忘了扣。 事实上我……
Oh, okay, I see what you're doing there.
好吧，我知道你的意图了。
I can't even believe this. I really come off that badly?
我不敢相信，我的形象有那么糟？
Oh! It's ok, you calm down after a while and then people can see how really sweet and wonderful you really are.
那没什么。相处久了你会稳重下来，大家就会了解到你有多体贴，多靠谱。
Oh good. Good, because I'm sure this interview is gonna last a couple of weeks.
好吧，我相信这次面试会维持好几个星期。
All right, don't freak out, okay? I I will help you.
好吧，别惊慌，我会帮你的。
How long before you have to leave? An hour.
你什么时候出发？ 一小时后。
I can't help you. Phoebe...
我帮不了你。 菲比……
All right, all right, we'll just do our best. Ok? So let's say that I'm the interviewer and I'm meeting you for the first time.
我们尽力而为吧。假如我是面试官，我第一次跟你见面。
Okay. Hi. Come on in. I'm Regina Phalanges.
好吧。 请进，我是瑞吉娜·费兰吉。
Chandler Bing. Oh, Bing.
钱德勒·宾。 宾。
What an unusual name.
你的名字很罕见。
Well you should meet my uncle, Bada. I'll let myself out.
你应该见见我的巴达叔叔。我自己出去吧。
Your Fettuccini Alfredo looks a little dry, did you use all your cheese?
你的意大利宽条面有点干，你放奶酪了吗？
When you say "use," do you mean "eat as a pre cooking snack"?
你说"放"是指"当烹饪前点心吃掉"吗？
And the cream? Cheese makes me thirsty.
那奶油呢？ 吃了奶酪，我口很渴。
Okay. Let's move on. All right.
好吧，我们继续。 好吧。
Oh! Something smells good over at Monica's station!
莫妮卡做的菜味道很香。
Oh my God! This is absolutely amazing! You've never made this before?
天啊！这简直太好吃了！你以前从来没做过这道菜吗？
Oh, no. I don't know anything about cooking. I had to ask what it's called when the, when the water makes those little bubbles.
没有，我对烹饪一窍不通。我都不知道水冒泡之后是怎么回事。
Hats off to the chef.
向主厨致意。
I I I'm sorry, your your mouth was full, I didn't hear what you said.
你嘴里全是吃的，我没听清你说什么。
Hats off to who now? The chef!
跟谁致意？ 主厨！
That's right!
没错！
I think you'll find if I come to work here, that I don't micro manage. I don't shy away from delegating.
如有幸被录用，你会发现我不会事必躬亲。我不害怕把事情交给下属去做。
Um hmm, that's good to know. But let's stop focusing on what you don't do, and focusing on what you do do.
很高兴知道这点。我们不要只谈那些你不会去做的事，我们来谈谈你会去做的事。
What I do do...is manage to create an atmosphere of support for the people working with me.
我会……为我的下属们营造一种团队互助的氛围。
I see. Nice sidestep on the "do do" thing by the way.
了解，你很巧妙地避开了"会做"这个问题。
Hardest thing I've ever done in my life.
刚才是我人生中最漫长的三十秒。
Oh, you gotta go! Oh!
你得出发了！ 哦！
Ok, don't worry. You're ready. Really?
别担心，你准备好了。 真的吗？
Absolutely! Just fight all your natural instincts, and you'll be great.
当然，千万不要跟着你的直觉走，你会表现得很棒。
Monica, my star student.
莫妮卡，我的明星学生。
You know, you called me that before so I I took the liberty of fashioning a star out of aluminum foil. Now, no pressure, you like my cookies, you give me the star.
你之前那么称呼过我，所以我就擅作主张用铝箔纸做了一颗星星。别觉得压力太大。如果你喜欢我的饼干，就奖我一颗星星。
Wow, a star! I know you all hate me and and I'm sorry, but I don't care.
好耶，星星！我知道你们都恨我，对不起，但我不在乎。
Okay, Joey, you're up next. Yeah.
好吧，乔伊，下一个是你。 好的。
Oh, my God! This is amazing! You get an A.
天啊！这简直太好吃了！我给你评"优"。
I got an A? In school? Hey, I'm a dork!
我在学校里得到优？我也算是书呆子了！
Joey, I'm so proud of you.
乔伊，我非常以你为荣。
I think you should give him your star. Excuse me?
我想你该把你的星星给他。 你说什么？
He doesn't even know what he's doing!
他都不知道自己在做什么。
We're all beginners here. Nobody knows what they're doing.
大家都是初学者，没人知道自己在做什么。
I do. I'm a professional chef! Oh, relax. It's not a courtroom drama.
我知道。我是职业主厨！少来了，这又不是法律戏剧。
If you're a professional chef, what're you doing taking Introduction to Cooking?
如果你是专业主厨为什么要上初级烹调课？
Yeah!
就是嘛！
I'm I'm sorry, it's just that umm...Well I I cook at this restaurant, Alessandro's, and umm I just got a really bad review...
抱歉，我是亚利山多洛斯餐厅的主厨。我刚刚得到了差评。
Allessandro's?
亚利山多洛斯？
I love that place! You do?
我喜欢那个餐馆！ 是吗？
Oh yes! You're an excellent chef! As a person you're a little...
你是个很棒的主厨，但你的个性有点……
Oh, I'm totally crazy, but you liked the food?
我是很疯狂，但你喜欢那里的食物？
Very much.
非常喜欢。
Okay, then. I don't stink. I'm a good chef! Okay.
好吧，那我还不赖。我是个好主厨，好吧。
Whoa whoa whoa whoa! I don't want to go. I'm having fun.
我不想走，我玩得很开心。
Well actually, did either of you pay for this class?
你们俩付学费了吗？
Hey hey hey, if my friend says it's time to go, it's time to go.
如果我朋友说该走了，我们这就走。
Also, I was the point person on my company's transition from the KL5 to GR6 systems.
另外，我还负责公司里KL5系统转换到GR6系统的工作。
You must have had your hands full.
你一定忙得不可开交。
That I did. That I did.
没错，没错。
So let's talk a little bit about your duties.
我们来谈谈你的职责吧。
My duties? All right.
我的职责？好吧。
Now you'll be heading a whole division, so you'll have a lot of duties.
你将负责一整个部门，所以你要担负起很多职责。
I see.
我了解。
But there'll be perhaps 30 people under you so you can dump a certain amount on them.
你手下会有30个人，你可以把很多工作分配给他们。
Good to know.
那太好了。
We could go into detail... No, don't, I beg of you.
我们可以进一步详谈。 不用了，我求你。
All right then, we'll have a definite answer for you on Monday, but I think I can say with some confidence, you'll fit in well here.
好吧，我们会在星期一回复你。但我相信你能很好地融入公司环境。
Really? Absolutely.
真的吗？ 当然。
You can relax. You did great.
放轻松，你表现得很好。
Yeah, I gotta say thank you, I was really nervous. You know I've been told I come on too strong, make too many jokes, and then it was really hard to sidestep that duty thing.
谢谢，我刚才真的很紧张。大家都说我太喜欢讲笑话缓和气氛。要避开"职责"的问题真的很难。
Duties. Doodies. Poo.
责任。大粪。便便。
Poo?
便便？
Oh, my God. This doesn't count. Okay? The interview was over.
天啊。这不算数，好吗？面试已经结束了。
That was the real Chandler Bing in there. This is just some crazy guy out in the hall.
刚刚才是真正的钱德勒·宾。这只是个站在走廊里的疯子。
Call security! There's a crazy guy out in the hall!
叫警卫来，走廊上有个疯子！
Poo?
便便？
I'll look forward to your call.
我期待你的来电。
Hi! You're back from your date! How are you?
你约会回来了。 你还好吗？
I'm fine. But that's not important. What's important is how was she?
我很好，但那不重要。重要的是她还好吗？
Uhh, it was fun. We, we just had coffee.
玩得很高兴，我们一起去喝了咖啡。
Oh, uh huh, uh huh, coffee, a little rub rub rub under the table?
喝咖啡，在桌子底下有动手动脚吧？
What's uh, what's going on? Do you not, you not like Katie?
怎么了，你不喜欢凯蒂吗？
No! No, she's she was nice. I mean, she's just a little slutty, but who isn't?
不，她很好。就是有点淫荡，但谁不是呢？
Well, I liked her.
我喜欢她。
Of course you did Ross, you would date a gorilla if it called you Indiana Jones!
你当然喜欢她。哪怕是只猩猩叫你印第安纳·琼斯，你也会跟她约会。
Did you get like a fresh batch of pregnancy hormones today? !
你的孕激素今天又分泌过剩了吗？
No. It's just that...Katie bothered me.
没有，只是……凯蒂让我觉得心烦。
Why? What was wrong with her?
为什么？她有哪里不好？
There was nothing wrong with her, all right? She was perfectly lovely.
她没有哪里不好，她非常可爱。
Okay. Ok, so what's the matter?
好吧，那到底怎么了？
I don't want you to date her.
我不希望你跟她约会。
Why? What, what are you jealous?
为什么？你在吃醋吗？
Yes. And not because I want you to go out with me. Because I don't want you to go out with anybody.
对，但不是因为我想你跟我交住。而是因为我不希望你跟任何人交住。
Ok? I know it's a terrible thing to even think this, and it's completely inappropriate, but I want you to be at my constant beck and call 24 hours a day!
我知道不该去想这种事情，我也知道这样很不合适……但我希望你全天24小时都能随时听从我的差遣。
I'm very sorry, but that is just the way that I feel.
我非常抱歉，但这就是我的真实感觉。
Okay. What?
好吧。 什么？
I won't date. I'll...I'll be here with you all the time.
我不约会，我会……我会一直陪着你。
Really? But I'm being so unreasonable.
真的吗？但我的要求很无理。
True, but you're allowed to be unreasonable. You're having our baby.
没错，但你有资格无理取闹。你怀了我们的宝宝。
Oh, Ross, thank you. Thank you.
罗斯，谢谢你。
You feel better?
你感觉好点了吗？
No, not really. You're pressing the baby into my bladder and now I have to pee. Sorry.
没有，你把宝宝压在我的膀胱上，我得去尿尿。
Uh Rach? Yeah? Just, just one thing, umm...
瑞秋？ 什么事？ 只有一件事……
We live together. You're you're having our baby. I'm not gonna see anybody else. Are you sure you don't want something more?
我们住在一起，你怀了我们的孩子。我会不跟任何人约会。你确定你不想更进一步吗？
Wow. I don't know, maybe...
我不知道，或许吧……
Oh oh, Rach! I was just messing around! Like you did last night when I had to pee?
瑞秋，我只是在开你玩笑。就像昨晚我要尿尿你逗我那样。
I knew that. I knew that! I was just messing with you too!
我就知道。我就知道，我也是在开你玩笑。
Ok. Ok. Because for a minute you said you... Oh no no no no, no! ...that you actually...
好吧，因为你看起来似乎…… 不不不！ 但你像是真的……
That's just because I'm such a good messer!
那只是因为我很会开玩笑。
Rach? Yeah?
瑞秋？ 什么？
The bathroom? Right.
你不上厕所吗？ 对。
Well I had a great time! Learned how to bake, ate great food, that's the first A I've gotten since seventh grade, and, I didn't have to sleep with the teacher this time.
我非常开心。我学会了烤饼干，还吃了美食。这是我从七年级后第一次得到优等，我这次甚至都没有跟老师上床。
Oh, look! Acting for Beginners! Hey, wanna feel good about yourself?
你看，初级表演班。你想找点优越感吗？
What the hell!
来吧！
All right. Let's start with some basics. Can anybody tell me what the difference between upstage and downstage is?
我们从基础开始吧。谁能告诉我后台跟前台的差别？
Yeah, this was a stupid idea.
我们就不该进来。
