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No, it's not crazy. It's uh ... uh ... it's a paradox. Paradoxes are part of nature.
不，那不是疯狂，你只是……陷入一种矛盾，矛盾是我们天性的一部分。
Think about light. If you look at huygens, light is a wave, as confirmed by the double-slit experiments, but then along comes albert einstein and discovers that light behaves like particles, too.
你想想光，惠更斯认为光是一种波动，双缝实验证明了这一论点。但后来爱因斯坦出现了，他发现光也具有粒子的表现特征。
Well, I didn't make it worse.
呃，我没让情况变得更糟。
I'm so sorry. I'm such a mess. On top of everything else, I'm all gross from moving and my stupid shower doesn't even work.
很抱歉，我真是一团糟，除了那些烂事，我搬家弄得一身臭汗，该死的淋浴还坏掉了。
Our shower works.
我们的淋浴房能用。
Really? Would it be totally weird if I used it? Yes.
真的？我用你们的淋浴房会不会很奇怪？会！
No. No? No. No. It's right down the hall.
当然不会。不会？不会。不会。就在厅后面。
Thanks. You guys are really sweet.
谢谢。你们真是大好人。
Well, this is an interesting development. How so?
真是有趣的进展啊。为什么？
It has been some time since we've had a woman take her clothes off in our apartment.
已经有好长一段时间没有女人在我们的公寓里脱光了。
That's not true. Remember at thanksgiving my grandmother with alzheimer's had that episode?
不对吧，还记得感恩节我患有阿兹海默症的奶奶病发闹出的那一段吗？
Point taken. It has been some time since we've had a woman take her clothes off, after which we didn't want to rip our eyes out.
有道理。已经有好长一段时间没有女人在我们公寓里脱光，而且我们不会想抠出自己的眼睛！
The worst part was watching her carve that turkey.
看着她乱搞那只火鸡是最折磨人的。
So what exactly are you trying to accomplish here?
你到底希望达到什么目标呢？
Excuse me?
你说什么？
That woman in there is not going to have sex with you.
那个女孩不会跟你上床的。
Well, I'm not trying to have sex with her.
我不是想跟她上床。
Oh, good. Then you won't be disappointed.
很好，那你就不会失望了。
What makes you think she wouldn't have sex with me? I'm a male and she's a female.
你为什么认定她不会跟我上床？我是男人，她是女人。
Yes, but not of the same species.
对，但你们不是一个种族的。
I'm not going to engage in hypotheticals here. I'm just trying to be a good neighbor.
我不想跟你在这瞎猜，我只是想当个好邻居。
Oh, of course.
当然了。
That's not to say that if a carnal relationship were to develop that I wouldn't participate. However briefly.
但是如果真的要发展到肉体关系我也不会拒绝的，不管那有多短暂。
Do you think this possibility will be helped or hindered when she discovers your luke skywalker no-more-tears shampoo?
你觉得让她发现你的“天行者Luke”无泪洗发水是会帮助还是阻碍你们的发展呢？
It's darth vader shampoo. Luke skywalker's the conditioner.
那是Darth Vader洗发液。“天行者Luke”是护发素。
Wait till you see this. It's fantastic, unbelievable. See what?
你们得看看这个！超级赞，不可置信。看什么？
It's a Stephen Hawking lecture from mit in 1974.
沃勒维茨：是施蒂芬·霍金于1974年在麻省理工做的演讲。
This isn't a good time.
现在不方便。
It's before he became a creepy computer voice.
这是在他变成诡异的电脑合成声音之前的讲座。
That's great. You guys have to go. Why?
很好，你们得走了。为什么？
It's just not a good time.
现在不方便啊。
Leonard has a lady over. Yeah, right your grandmother back in town?
Leonard有女人拜访。这样啊，你奶奶又回城了？
No. And she's not a lady. She's just a new neighbor.
不是什么女人的艳遇啦，只是我们的新邻居。
Hang on, there really is a lady here?
你等等，这儿真有个女人？
Uh-huh.
没错。
And you want us out because you're anticipating coitus?
你要我们走是因为你准备跟她交媾？
I'm not anticipating coitus. So she's available for coitus?
我没准备跟她交媾。那她可以跟别人交媾？
Can we please just stop saying "coitus"? Technically, that would be "coitus interrupts."
能不能别用“交媾”这个词？用术语来说就是交媾中止。
Hey, is there a trick to getting it to switch from tub to shower ... ? Oh, hi. Sorry. Hello.
从泡浴换成淋浴是不是有个开关？噢，很抱歉，你们好。
Enchant? mademoiselle. Howard Wolowitz caltech department of applied physics. You may be familiar with some of my work. It's currently orbiting Jupiter's largest moon taking high-resolution digital photographs.
很高兴认识您，小姐。我是Howard Wolowitz加州理工大应用物理系，你可能对我的工作成果有所了解，它现在正绕着木星最大的卫星旋转，拍摄高清数码照片。
Penny. I work at the cheesecake factory.
我是佩妮，我在芝士蛋糕工厂做侍应。
Come on, I'll show you the trick with the shower. Okay!
来吧，我告诉你开淋浴器的诀窍。好的！
Bonne douche. I'M ... I'm sorry?
Bonne douche！你说什么？
It's french for "good shower". It's a sentiment I can express in six languages.
法语的“洗个痛快澡”我能用六国语言表达这一祝愿。
Save it for your blog, howard.
留着在你的Blog上写吧Howard。
Xi ge tong kuai zhao!
洗个痛快澡（中文）!
All right, there it goes. It sticks. I'm sorry.
这样就行，开关卡住了，抱歉。
Okay, thanks.
好的,谢谢。
You' welcome. Oh, you're just going to step right ... okay, I'll ...
不客气，你只要向右……好我撤了。
Hey, leonard ... the hair products are sheldon's. Okay.
Leonard，那些洗发产品是Sheldon的。好的。
Um, can I ask you a favor?
我能麻烦你帮个忙吗？
A favor? Sure, you can ask me a favor. I would do you a favor for you.
帮忙？你当然可以要我帮忙。我很乐意帮你。
It's okay if you say no.
你不答应也没事。
Oh, I'll probably say yes.
噢。我应该会答应的。
It's just not the kind of thing you ask a guy you just met.
这不是那种你会请刚认识的人帮的忙。
Wow.
哇。
I really think we should examine the chain of causality here. Must we?
我们得回顾下这起事件的前因后果。一定要吗？
Event a- a beautiful woman stands naked in our shower.
事件A：一个美女在我们的浴室裸体。
Event b- we drive halfway across town to retrieve a television set from the aforementioned woman's ex-boyfriend.
事件B：我们开车穿越整个小镇，就为了搬台电视机回来目的地就在刚刚提到的美女的前男友家。
Query- on what plane of existence is there even a semi-rational link between these events?
提问：这两件事之间存在任何甚至半理性的关联吗？
She asked me to do her a favor, sheldon.
因为Penny请我帮个忙，Sheldon。
Ah, yes. Well, that may be the proximal cause of our journey, but we both know it only exists in contradistinction to the higher level distal cause.
是啊，那也许是最近似可能的起因了，但我们都知道它和更高级的末端起因截然不同。
Which is? You think with your penis.
那是什么意思？你用你的老二思考。
That's a biological impossibility. And you didn't have to come.
这在生理上是不可能的，你也不一定要来啊。
Oh, right, yes, I could have stayed behind and watch Wolowitz try to hit on penny in Russian, Arabic and Farsi.
对，我可以留在家里看着Wolowitz试图用俄语阿拉伯语及波斯语搭讪Penny。
Why can't she get her own TV?
她为什么不能自己去拿她的电视？
Come on, you know how it is with break ups.
少来，你知道分手这种事啦。
No, I don't ... and neither do you.
不，我不知道，你也不知道。
I broke up with Joyce Kim.
什么啊，我跟Joyce Kim分过手。
You did not break up with Joyce Kim. She defected to north korea.
你才没有和Joyce Kim分手，是她跑到朝鲜去了。
To mend her broken heart.
为了修复她受伤的心灵。
This situation is much less complicated. There's some kind of dispute between penny and her ex-boyfriend as to who gets custody of the TV. She just wanted to avoid having a scene with him.
现在这情况更加复杂，Penny和她前男友不能达成一致，究竟电视机该归谁，她不想再和他当面争执。
So we get to have a scene with him?
所以我们去和他当面争执？
No, sheldon, there's not going to be a scene. There's two of us and one of him.
Sheldon根本不会有争执，我们两人，他一人。
Leonard, the two of us can't even carry a TV.
Leonard我们俩加起来都抗不动一台电视。
So, you guys work with leonard and sheldon at the university?
你们跟Leonard和Sheldon一起在学校做事？
Um, I'm sorry. Do you speak english?
不好意思，你会说英语吗？
Oh, he speaks english. He can't speak to women.
他会，只是不能跟女人说。
Really? Why? He's kind of a nerd. Juice box?
真的？为什么？因为他是个书呆子。盒装果汁？
I'll do the talking.
我来跟他理论。
Yeah?
谁？
Uh, hi, I'm leonard, this is sheldon. Hello.
嗨，我是Leonard，他是Sheldon。你好。
Uh, we're here to pick up Penny's TV. Get lost. Okay, thanks for you time.
我们来这儿拿Penny的电视。滚。好的，打搅你了。
We're not going to give up just like that.
我们不能就这么放弃。
But the TV is in the building. We have been denied access to the building- ergo, we are done.
但是电视在这楼里，他不放我们进去，我们没辙。
Excuse me. But if I were to give up on the first little hitch, I never would have been able to identify the fingerprints of string theory in the aftermath of the big bang.
不好意思，如果我第一次受挫就放弃，我就永远不可能在大爆炸理论提出后发现关于弦理论的蛛丝马迹。
My apologies. What's your plan?
我道歉。你打算怎么做？
It's just a privilege to watch your mind at work.
看到你如此专注工作真是种荣幸。
Come on, we have a combined iq of 360. we should be able to figure out how to get into a stupid building.
来吧，我们俩智商加起来有360，我们绝对能够想办法进入这蠢楼。
What do you think their combined iq is? Just grab the door! This is it.
你觉得她俩智商加起来多少？快去留住门！就是这。
I'll do the talking. Good thinking. I'll just be the muscle.
我来跟他理论。好主意，我用武力威慑。
Yeah?
什么事？
I'm leonard, this is sheldon. From the intercom.
我是Leonard他是Sheldon。刚刚在对讲机上的。
What the hell did you get in the building?
他妈的你们怎么进房来的？
Uh ... we're scientists. Tell him about our IQ.
我们是科学家。告诉他我们的智商。
Leonard ... what?
Leonard……什么？
My mom bought me those pants. I'm sorry.
那条裤子是我妈给我买的。真抱歉。
You're going to have to call her.
你得给她打电话。
Sheldon, I am so sorry I dragged you through this.
Sheldon 真对不起把你也扯进来了。
It's okay. It wasn't my first pantsing and it won't be my last.
没关系，这不是我第一次掉裤子了，也不会是最后一次。
And you were right about my motives. I was hoping to establish a relationship with penny that might have someday led to sex.
关于我的动机，你说得对。我是指望能跟Penny建立关系并最终发展成肉体关系。
Well, you got me out of my pants.
你倒是成功地脱下了我的裤子。
Anyway, I've learned my lesson. She's out of my league, I'm done with her.
无论如何我得到了教训，我配不上她，我放弃了。
Got my work, one day I'll win the nobel prize and then I'll die alone.
我有工作，有一天我会赢得诺贝尔奖，然后孤老死去。
Don't think like that. You're not going to die alone.
别那么想，你不会孤老而死。
Thank you, sheldon. You're a good friend.
谢谢你Sheldon，你真是个好朋友。
And you're certainly not going to win a Nobel Prize.
你当然也没可能赢诺贝尔奖。
This is one of my favorite places to kick back after a quest. They have a great house ale.
这里是我最喜欢的探险后休息的地方，他家的啤酒很好喝。
Wow, a cool tiger.
好酷的老虎。
Yeah, I've had him since level ten. His name is buttons.
是的，我从10级开始就养它了。它叫扣扣。
Anyway, if you had your own game character we could hang out, maybe go on a quest.
如果你也有自己的在线游戏人物，我们可以一起玩玩一起探险。
Sounds interesting.
听上去挺有趣。
So you'll think about it?
那么 你会想想这个提议啦？
Oh, I don't think I'll be able to stop thinking about it.
我想这个点子会让我思考许久的。
Smooth.
干得漂亮。
We're home.
我们回来了。
Oh, my god, what happened?
老天啊，发生了什么事？
Well, your ex-boyfriend sends his regards and I think the rest is fairly self-explanatory.
你前男友让我们跟你带声问候，其他的我想应该够一目了然了。
I'm so sorry. I really thought if you guys went instead of me he wouldn't be such an ass.
我真抱歉，我真的以为如果你们替我去他不会表现那么混蛋。
No, it was a valid hypothesis.
不，那是挺充分的假设。
That was a valid ... ? What is happening to you?
挺充分的假……？你怎么了？
Really ... thank you so much for going and trying. You're so terrific.
说真的，太谢谢你们帮我跑这一趟了，你们真是大好人。
Why don't you put some clothes on, I'll get my purse, and dinner is on me, okay?
你们穿上衣服，我去拿钱包，今晚我请客好吧？
Really? Great. Thank you.
真的吗？太好了！谢谢。
You're not done with her, are you?
你还没放弃是吧？
Our babies will be smart and beautiful. Not to mention imaginary.
我们的小孩肯定又聪敏又漂亮。更不用说想象力有多丰富了。
It's Thai food OK with you, Penny? Sure.
Penny，你能吃泰国菜吗？可以啊。
We can't have thai food- we had indian for lunch. So?
我们不能吃泰国菜 中午已经吃了印度菜。所以？
They're both curry-based cuisines. So?
它们都是以咖喱为主的菜系。所以？
It would be gastronomically redundant. I can see we're going to have to spell out everything for this girl.
那会造成"肠胃不能承受之腹泻"，我发现我们什么都得帮她解释清楚。
Any ideas, raj?
Raj 你有什么主意吗？
Uh, turn left on lake street and head up to colorado. I know a wonderful little sushi bar that has karaoke.
在Lake街左转朝Colorado开，那边有个带卡拉OK的寿司吧。
That sounds like fun.
好像很好玩。
Baby, baby, don't get hooked on me, oh, baby, baby, don't get hooked on me ...
宝贝宝贝不要被我迷上，宝贝宝贝不要被我迷上。
I don't know what your odds are in the world as a whole, but as far as the population of this car goes, you're a veritable mack daddy.
我不知道按整个世界算你追她成功的机率有多大，但就这辆车里的人来讲，你绝对是名副其实的万人迷。
