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All right, just a few more feet. And...
非常好，再前进几步。
here we are, gentlemen, the gates of Elzebob.
准备好，先生们，Elzebob大门到了（魔兽世界游戏）。
Good lord. Don't panic. This is what the last 97 hours have been about.
上帝啊！别慌，坚持97小时的战斗就为了这一刻。
Stay frosty. There's a horde of armed goblins on the other side of that gate guarding the sword of asaroth.
待着别动，一群装备武器的地精正在门的另一边守卫着艾辛诺斯之刃。
Warriors, unsheathe your weapons. Magic wielders, raise your wands up.
战士们拔出你们的武器，法师们举起你们的魔杖。
Lock and load.
准备好了
Raj, blow the gates.
Raj，推开大门。
Blowing the gates. Control, shift...b! oh, my god, so many goblins!
推开大门，Control Shift...b！天啊，那么多地精！
Don't just stand there, slash and move, slash and move!
别傻站在那里，向前开路！向前开路！
Stay in formation!
保持阵形！
Leonard, you got one on your tail.
Leonard有个敌人在你背后。
That's all right, my tail's prehensile— I'll swat him off.
没事，我脑后长眼着呢，我会干掉他的。
I got him, leonard. Tonight I spice my mead with goblin blood.
我打中他了Leonard，今晚我要用那地精的血来祭酒。
Raj, no, it's a trap! They're flanking us!
Raj不要，这是个陷阱！他们在夹击我们！
He's got me!
我被打中了！
Sheldon, he's got raj. Use your sleep spell! Sheldon...sheldon?
Sheldon，他打中Raj了，快用你的催眠咒！Sheldon！Sheldon？
I've got the sword of asaroth!
我拿到了艾辛诺斯之刃！
Forget the sword, sheldon, help raj!
别管剑了，Sheldon，快救Raj！
There is no more sheldon. I am the sword master!
我不再是Sheldon了，我是剑圣！
Leonard, look out!
Leonard当心！
Damn it, man, we're dying here!
该死，我们快不行了！
Good-bye, peasants!
再见了，土人们！
The bastard teleported!
那混蛋用意念传送走了！
He's selling the sword of asaroth on ebay.
他在ebay上出售那把艾辛诺斯之刃。
You betrayed us for money? Who are you?
你为了钱背叛我们？你怎么这样？
I'm a rogue night elf. Don't you people read character descriptions?
我是暗夜精灵盗贼，你们没有读过角色介绍吗？
Wait, wait, wait! Somebody just clicked " buy it now.
等等！有人点击了立即购买。
I am the sword master!
我是剑圣！
Ooh, i m all sweaty, anybody want to second life and go swimming? I just built a virtual pool.
哦，我身上都是汗，谁想再进入<第二人生>游个泳？我刚建了个虚拟游泳池。
No. I can't look at you or your avatar right now.
不，我现在不想看见你或是你的兽身。
Sounds like your neighbor's home. Excuse me.
好像是隔壁的声音。失陪。
Don't forget the mail you took accidentally on purpose so you'd have an excuse to talk to her. Oh, right, right, right, right.
别忘了带上你“无意”拿到的信件，这样你就有借口跟她说话了。噢，对，对。
Stealing snail mail, very old school, I like it.
偷窃信箱邮件，很老套的方法，我喜欢。
Penny, the mailman, did it again...he...oh, sorry.
Penny，邮差又……哦，抱歉。
Um, oh, hi, leonard. This is doug. Doug, this is my neighbor leonard.
嗨，Leonard这是Doug。Doug这是我邻居Leonard。
What's up, bro? Not much...bro.
有事吗老兄？没什么……老兄。
Is everything okay?
一切还好吧？
Yeah, no, I just...I got your mail again. Here.
是啊，我只是……我又错拿了你的信，给你。
Thank you. I've got to talk to that mailman.
谢谢，我得和邮差说说了。
Oh, no, that's probably not such a good idea.
不，这主意不怎么好。
Civil servants have a documented propensity to, you know, snap.
人民公仆总是非常容易……动粗。
Okay. Well, thank you again.
好吧，还是谢谢你。
No problem. Bye. Oh, and bye...bro.
没问题，再见。哦，再见……老兄。
Penny for your thoughts.
呆呆地在想什么呢？
What's the matter?
怎么回事？
I'm fine. Penny's fine. The guy she's kissing is really fine.
我很好，Penny也很好。和她接吻的家伙也很好
Kissing, what kind of kissing? Cheeks? lips? friends?
接吻，哪一种？脸颊？嘴唇？朋友？
What is wrong with you?
你什么毛病啊？
I'm a romantic.
我是一个浪漫主义者。
Please don't tell me that your hopeless infatuation is devolving into pointless jealousy.
别告诉我你不可救药的迷恋发展成了无意义的嫉妒。
I'm not jealous. I'm just a little concerned for her. I didn't like the look of the guy that she was with.
我不是嫉妒，只是有点担心她。并且我不怎么喜欢那家伙的长相。
Because he looks better than you?
因为他长得比你帅气？
Yeah. He was kind of dreamy.
是啊。可以说是梦幻般的外形
Well, at least now you can retrieve the black box from the twisted, smouldering wreckage that was once your fantasy of dating her
只是你现在还能从燃烧的废墟里找回装满对她美妙幻想的黑匣子，
and analyse the data so that you don't crash into geek mountain again.
好好分析下数据，你就不会再坠入呆子谷
I disagree. Love is not a sprint, it's a marathon.
我反对。爱情不是短跑而是马拉松，
a relentless pursuit that only ends when she falls into your arms...or hits you with the pepper spray.
永不放弃地追逐直到她最终投入你的怀抱，或是用防狼喷雾剂喷你。
No, I'm done with penny.
不，我和佩妮结束了。
I'm going to be more realistic and go after someone my own speed. Like who?
我要更现实些，去追求合我拍的人。比如谁？
I don't know...olivia geiger?
不知道…… 奥莉维亚·盖格？
The dietician at the cafeteria with the limp and the lazy eye? Yeah.
自助餐厅里那个有点跛还有弱视的营养学家？是的。
Oh, I don't think you have a shot there.
哦，我看你没戏。
I have noticed that leslie winkle recently started shaving her legs.
我注意到莱斯莉温蔻最近在刮她的腿毛。
Now given that winter is coming, one can only assume she's signalling sexual availability.
既然冬天都已经到了，只能说明她是在暗示她可以作为做爱对象。
I don't know. You guys work in the same lab. So?
我不清楚，你们在同一个实验室。所以呢？
There are pitfalls. Trust me, I know.
这有隐患，相信我，我清楚。
When it comes to sexual harassment law, I'm a bit of a self taught expert.
说到性骚扰的相关法律，我可是自学而成的专家。
Look, Howard, if I were to ask leslie winkle out, it would just be for dinner.
Howard，如果我要约莱斯莉温蔻出去，也只是吃顿饭。
I'm not going to walk into the lab, ask her to strip naked and dance for me.
我不会去实验室要她为我跳脱衣舞。
Oh, then you're probably okay.
哦，那你就没事了。
Hello, leslie. Hello. Leslie, I would like to propose an experiment... goggles, leonard. Right.
嗨，莱斯莉。嗨。莱斯莉我建议做个实验……戴上眼镜兰纳德。好吧。
Leslie, I would like to propose an experiment.
莱斯莉我建议做个实验。
Hang on. I'm trying to see how long it takes a 500 - kilowatt oxygen iodine laser to heat up my cup a' noodles.
等一下，我想试试一个500千瓦氧碘激光器得花多久把我的杯装泡面加热。
I've done it. About two seconds. 2.6 for minestrone.
我试过，大概2秒，蔬菜汤花2.6秒。
Anyway, I was thinking more of a biosocial exploration with a neurochemical overlay.
总之，我在考虑来个生物社会学的探索，结合神经化学方面的专家知识。
Wait, are you asking me out?
等等，你约我出去？
I was going to characterize it as the modification of our colleague- slash- friendship paradigm with the addition of a date like component,
我认为是改变我们同事/友谊关系的范例。外加个约会作为补充成分，
but we don't need to quibble over terminology.
但我们不需要一直说术语。
What sort of experiment would you propose?
你计划做怎样的实验？
There's a generally accepted pattern in this area. I would pick you up, take you to a restaurant.
这个领域有种普遍接受的模式，我去接你，带你去餐厅，
Then we would see a movie, probably a romantic comedy featuring the talents of Hugh Grant or Sandra Bullock.
接着我们可以看场电影，也许一部休·格兰特或桑德拉·布洛克天才演绎的浪漫轻喜剧。
Interesting. And would you agree that the primary way we would evaluate either the success or failure of the date would be based on the biochemical reaction during the good night kiss?
有意思。你是否同意我们评价约会成败的依据，是基于离别之吻时的化学反应？
Heart rate, pheromones, etc. Yes.
心跳率，生化信息素等等，的确。
Why don't we just stipulate that the date goes well and move to the key variable?
我们干嘛不假定约会很顺利，直接进行关键的有变数的部分？
You mean kiss you now? Yes.
你意思是现在就吻你？是的。
Can you define the parameters of the kiss? Close mouthed but romantic. Mint? Thank you.
你能定义吻的参数吗？嘴唇的亲密度还有浪漫度。要薄荷吗？谢谢。
Shall I count down from three?
我数三下？
No, I think it needs to be spontaneous.
不，我觉得应该自然点。
What do you think?
感觉怎么样？
You proposed the experiment. I think you should present your findings first.
你提出的实验方案，该由你先说说实验的发现。
Fair enough. On the plus side, it was a good kiss. Reasonable technique, no extraneous spittle.
很公平。从正面讲这个吻很不错，合理的技术，没有多余的唾沫。
On the other hand, no arousal. None? None.
另一方面讲，没什么感觉。没感觉？没有。
Well, thank you for your time. Thank you.
呃，很感谢你抽出时间。谢你。
None at all?
一点感觉都没？
Sheldon, if you were a robot, and I knew and you didn't...would you want me to tell you?
Sheldon，如果你是机器人，我知道但你自己不知道……你希望我告诉你吗？
That depends. When I learn that I'm a robot...will I be able to handle it?
那取决于，当我得知我是机器人……我有能力承受吗？
Maybe, although the history of science fiction is not on your side.
也许吧，虽然历来的科幻小说都不能苟同这点。
Okay, uh, let me ask you this, when I learn that I'm a robot, would I be bound by asimov's three laws of robotics?
好吧我来问你，当我得知我是机器人，我要受限于阿西莫夫的机器人三大定律吗？
You might be bound by them right now.
你可能现在就受限哦。
That's true. Have you ever harmed a human being or through inaction allowed a human being to come to harm? Of course not.
就是啊。你伤害过人类吗？或任人受伤而袖手旁观？当然没有。
Have you ever harmed yourself or allowed yourself to be harmed except in cases where a human being would have been endangered?
除非在他人危险的情况下，你会伤害自己，或容忍自己被伤害吗？
Well, no. I smell robot.
呃，没有。我闻到机器人的味道了。
Hey, what's going on? Internet has been down for half an hour.
嘿，过得怎么样？互联网瘫痪半个小时了。
Also, Sheldon may be a robot.
还有，Sheldon可能是机器人。
So how do it go with leslie?
和莱斯莉怎么样啦？
Oh, we tried kissing, but the Earth didn't move.
哦，我们试着接吻，但地球没转。
I mean, any more than the 383 miles that it was going to move anyway.
我是说比地球原来转的383英里要更多。
Oh, I've seen that look before.
哦，我以前看过他这表情。
This is just going to be two weeks of moping and tedious emo songs and calling me to come down to pet stores to look at cats.
未来两周他将百无聊赖，哼唱乏味的情绪摇滚歌曲，要我去宠物商店看猫。
I don't know if I can take it.
我不知道撑不撑得住。
You could power down.
你可以关掉自己的电源。
Well, as usual, Wolowitz has the solution.
一如既往，沃勒维茨会有解决办法的。
I happen to know a place where there are plenty of eligible women and leonard could have his pick.
我碰巧知道个好地方，有很多符合条件的女士，兰纳德可以任意选。
Remember the latin hips. Shoulders stay still, and...we sway. One, two, three...five, six, seven.
记住拉丁舞的技巧，肩膀挺直，然后摇摆。一 二 三 五 六 七。
I think Mrs. Tishman's got her eye on you.
Tishman女士一直盯着你呢。
I've been there. You're in for a treat.
我有过经验，你会喜欢的。
She said, you don't know me, you don't even care oh, yeah... Oh, good lord.
她说你不了解我，你甚至不在乎，哦耶。哦，上帝。
She said, "you don't know me you don't wear my chains oh, yeah.
她说你不了解我，你不戴我送你的项链，哦耶。
God, that's a good song. If you're compiling a mix cd for a double suicide.
天啊，这歌真棒。当然，如果这是你为双重自杀混合录制的CD。
Oh, I hope that scratching post is for you.
我希望那猫抓柱是你自己用的。
I know what you're thinking. I've taken your asthma into account.
我知道你在想什么，你的哮喘病我有考虑在内。
There's a feline geneticist in san diego who's developed the cutest little hypoallergenic calicos.
圣地亚哥有个研究猫科的遗传学家培育了一种超可爱的低变应原小猫。
Leonard, listen to me...
Leonard听我说……
I've been thinking about names. I'm kind of torn between einstein, newton and sergeant fuzzy boots.
我在想给它起什么名字在爱因斯坦牛顿和毛靴中士之间犹豫
Leonard, do you really think you can satisfy your need for a relationship with a genetically altered cat?
Leonard，你真认为养一只转基因猫可以满足你的感情需要吗？
Maybe. If it's a cute, little, cuddly cat.
也许。一只让人爱不释手的可爱小猫。
