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Oh, come on. Leonard...this is obviously about penny.
得了吧Leonard……，这都是因为Penny吧。
It doesn't matter. The woman is not interested in me. The woman rejected me.
没所谓。她对我不感兴趣，拒绝了我。
Okay, look, I think that you have as much of a chance of having a sexual relationship with penny
听着，我认为你能跟Penny做爱的几率
as the hubble telescope does of discovering at the center of every black hole is a little man with a flashlight searching for a circuit breaker.
跟哈勃太空望远镜发现在每个黑洞中央都有个小人在用闪光灯寻找断路器的几率一样大。
Nevertheless, I do feel obligated to point out to you that she did not reject you.
尽管如此，我还是有责任向你指出，她并没有拒绝你。
You did not ask her out.
你从没邀请她去约会。
You're right. I didn't ask her out. I should ask her out.
你说的对。我没请她约会过，我该去请她约会。
No, no, now that was not my point. My point was don't buy a cat.
不不不，重点不是这个，重点是不要养猫。
No, but you're right. I should march over there and ask her out.
不，你是对的，我该过去请她约会。
Oh, goody, we're getting a cat.
天，我们要养猫了。
Oh, hey, leonard. Good afternoon, penny. So, hi...hey. Uh...I was wondering if you had plans for dinner.
你好，Leonard。下午好Penny，嗨你好。呃……你约了人吃饭吗？
Uh, you mean dinner tonight?
嗯，你的意思是今晚？
There is an inherent ambiguity in the word dinner.
饭这个词本身就意思含糊。
Technically it refers to the largest meal of the day whenever it's consumed. So to clarify here, by dinner I mean supper.
严格说来它所指的是一日的主餐，可以是午餐或晚餐。为了说清楚，我指的是晚饭。
Supper? Or dinner. I was thinking 6:30 if you can go. Or a different time.
晚饭？就是吃饭啦。如果你有空，6点半行吗？或者其他你方便的时间？
Uh, 6.30 is great. Really? Great. Yeah, I like hanging out with you guys. Us guys?
6点半可以啊。真的？太好了。我喜欢跟你们一起玩。我们？
Yeah, you know, sheldon, howard, raj. Who all is coming?
对，Sheldon，Howard，Raj，他们都一起吧？
They...might all be there. Or a subset of them might be there. Algebraically speaking, there are too many unknowns.
他们……可能都会去吧，或者他们中的有些人可能去，从代数角度看太多未知数了，
For example, sheldon had quiznos for lunch. Sometimes he finds that filling, other times he doesn't.
比如Sheldon中午吃了Quizno三明治，有时他觉得吃那个饱，有时候不觉得，
It's no fault of quiznos—they have a varied menu.
这不是Quizno的错，他们的菜单很丰盛。
Okay, whatever. It sounds like fun.
好吧，无所谓啦，听起来挺有意思的。
Great. Did we say a time? 6.30.
很好，我们约时间了吗？6点半。
And that's still good for you? It's fine. because it's not carved in stone. No, 6:30's great.
你确定那时有空？对。不是刻在石板上非得那时去哦。6点半正好。
I'll get my chisel. Why?
我去拿凿子。为什么？
To...carve the...I'll see you at 6:30
去刻在……6点半见。
How do I look?
我看起来如何？
Could you be more specific?
你能说具体一点吗？
Can you tell I am perspiring a little?
能看出来我在冒汗吗？
No. The dark crescent shaped patterns under your arms conceal it nicely.
不能。你腋下深色的新月状图案将其隐藏的很好。
What time is your date? 6.30.
你几点约会？6点半。
Perfect. That gives you two hours and 15 minutes for that dense molecular cloud of aromas to dissipate.
太好了，那你还有2小时15分让那片稠密的人造纤维分子云的香气消散。
Is it too much?
那很多吗？
Not if you're a rugby team.
如果你是橄榄球队员就不算多。
By the way, if it should ever come up, you didn't join us because you stuffed yourself with a chicken carbonara sub at Quiznos.
如果以后提到今晚的事，你没来参加的原因是你在Quiznos吃意式鸡肉培根实心粉吃撑了。
Why would I join you?
我为什么要去参加？
No reason. Oh, you know what, maybe this isn't such a good idea.
不为什么。你知道吗，也许这样做不好。
Oh, no, well, now there's always the possibility that alcohol and poor judgment on her part might lead to a nice romantic evening.
不，酒精加上她一时糊涂，总有可能让今晚成为浪漫之夜。
You're right. Alcohol, poor judgment—it could go well.
你说的对，酒。糊涂。今晚有可能会顺利的
Of course there is the other possibility, that
当然还有另一种可能性，
this date kicks off a rather unpleasant six months of the two of you passing awkwardly in the hall,
之后的6个月都会很难捱，俩人在走廊里尴尬的擦身而过，
until one of you breaks down and moves to another zip code.
直到其中一人崩溃并搬到别的州去。
You could have stopped at " it could go well.
你说到“可能会顺利”就可以闭嘴了
If I could have, I would have.
如果我能，我会的。
I mean, I'm a perfectly nice guy.
我是绝种好男人。
There's no reason we couldn't go to the restaurant, and have a lovely dinner, maybe take a walk afterwards, talk about things we have in common.
没理由我们不能在餐厅好好吃顿晚餐，饭后散散步聊些共同话题。
You love pottery? I love pottery!
你喜欢陶艺吗？我超爱陶艺的！
You know, There's a pause, we both know what's happening.
然后暂停一下，我们都知道接下来要发生什么，
I lean in, we kiss. It's a little tentative at first, but then I realize she's kissing me back.
我倾身向前，我俩接吻，开始时还有点犹豫，然后我意识到她开始回吻我，
She's biting my lower lip! She wants me! This thing is going the distance! We're going to have sex! Oh, god, oh, my god!
她在咬我的下唇！她想要我！这事能成！我们会做爱！天上帝啊！
Is the sex starting now?
现在开始做爱了？
I'm having a panic attack.
我恐慌症发作了
Oh, okay. Uh, well then...calm down.
好吧，冷静点。
If I could calm down, I would be having a panic att...that's why they call it a panic attack.
如果我能冷静就不会恐慌了！不然这怎么叫做恐慌症发作！
All right, all right. Uh, s- s- sit down. Yeah, sit down. Now close your eyes. Why?
好好，你坐下，坐下闭上眼。为什么？
Just do it. Okay. Now try to increase your alpha wave activity.
照做吧！好。试着增加你α波的活性。
What? ! It's a biofeedback technique. It's relaxation through brain wave manipulation.
什么？！这是机能反馈疗法，通过控制脑电波来放松。
I read a paper about it in journal of american neuroscience. It was a little sparsely sourced,
我在美国神经科学月刊上看到一篇关于它的论文，它的理论来源不完备，
but I think the basic science is valid. I probably have it here somewhere.
但是我认为基本原理正确，我可能把它放在这了。
Who am I kidding? I can't go through with this. You need to call her and cancel.
我没法赴这个约会，你给她打电话取消吧。
Me? Yes. What should I tell her? I don't know. Tell her I'm sick. Okay.
我？对。我要跟她说什么？我不知道，跟她说我病了。好。
Not the kind of illness that will make her want to come over and take care of me,
别说那种会让她想来照顾我的病，
but nothing so critical that she'll feel uncomfortable going out with me in the future if I want to try this again. Got it.
也不要严重得让她以后不愿跟我约会的病，如果我以后还想尝试的话。了解。
So I'm assuming nothing venereal?
那不能说花柳病啦？
I'll just tell her that you had a routine conoloscopy and haven't quite bounced back.
就跟她说你做了例行肠镜检查还没恢复吧。
Give me the phone.
给我电话！
I thought you wanted to cancel.
你不是想取消约会吗？
I can't, because if I don't show up she'll still be expecting you.
不行，如果我不出现她还是会认为你会去的。
Why would she be expecting me?
为什么她认为我会去？
Stop asking me all these questions. I need to take another shower.
别问了，我要再去洗个澡。
So are the rest of the guys meeting us here?
其他的人直接来这找我们？
Oh, yeah...no. It turns out that raj and howard had to work, and sheldon...had a colonoscopy and he hasn't quite bounced back yet.
对……不对。Raj跟Howard要工作，Sheldon……做了肠镜还没恢复过来。
Oh, my uncle just had a colonoscopy.
我叔叔也做了肠镜。
You're kidding. Then that's something we have in common. How?
你可真会开玩笑，这就是我们俩的共同之处了。怎么说？
We both have people in our lives who...want to nip intestinal polyps in the bud.
我们都认识……想将肠道息肉扼杀于摇篮当中的人。
So what's new in the world of physics? Nothing. Really? Nothing?
物理界有啥新闻不？没有。真的？一点都没有？
Well, with the exception of string theory, not much has happened since the 1930s. And you can't prove string theory.
除了弦理论，自1930年后就没什么发现了。而弦理论也尚未证明，
At best you can say, "hey, look, my idea has an internal logical consistency."
最多就能说，嘿，我的理论内部逻辑很连贯。
Ah. Well, I'm sure things will pick up.
啊。我相信情况会好转的。
What's new at the cheesecake factory?
芝士蛋糕工厂那边有什么新消息？
Oh, uh, not much. We do have a chocolate key lime that's moving pretty well.
没有什么，有个巧克力柠檬派卖得很好。
Good. Good. What about your, uh...hallway friend?
好。好。那你那个……过道上的朋友怎样？
Doug? Oh, yeah, I don't know. I mean, you know, he's nice and funny, but...can I get you started with some drinks? No!
道格？我不知道，他人挺好也很风趣，但是……准备开始点饮品了吗？不！
You were saying? But...I'd like a drink. Just say the "but" thing about doug and then I'll get her back.
你刚刚说到？但是…… 我想喝点东西。先说完关于道格的，但是，我会把她叫回来。
Okay, well, I don't know, it's just me.
我不知道，是我的问题。
I'm still getting over this breakup with Kurt and this thing with Doug would still be rebound sex.
我还没从跟肯特的分手中完全恢复，跟道格在一起是为了复健性爱。
Oh, don't get me started on rebound sex.
噢，提起复健性爱啊……
It's just...it's my pattern. I break up, then I find some cute guy, and then it's just 36 meaningless hours of...you know.
我总是这样，分手后找个帅哥，然后就是36小时毫无意义的……你知道。
I'm not sure that I do. Is that one 36-hour experience, or is that 36 hours spread out over, say...one glorious summer?
我不确定我知道，是连续36个小时，还是一个辉煌夏季中……分散的36个小时？
No, it's usually over a weekend, and trust me, you do not feel good after it.
不，大概是一个周末吧，相信我，那之后感觉很不好。
Well, chafing, right? Emotionally.
呃，皮肤疼痛是吧？情绪上。
Of course, yeah, emotional chafing.
没错，心里疼痛。
Hey, do you want to see something cool?
你想看些有趣的玩意吗？
I can make this olive go into this glass without touching it. How? Physics.
我不用手碰就能把这颗橄榄弄进杯子里。怎么弄啊？物理原理。
Wow, centrifugal force. Actually, it's centripetal force, which is an inward force generated by the glass acting on the olive...
哇，离心力。实际上是向心力。玻璃对橄榄作用产生的内向力。
Excuse me. If you were riding on the olive, you'd be in a non - inertial reference frame and would...Are you okay?
抱歉，如果你坐在那颗橄榄上，你就是一个非惯性参照系并会……你没事吧？
Yeah, I'm okay. Did you spill ketchup? No. I'm not okay.
没事。你打翻番茄酱了吗？没有。那我就有事了！
Are you sure you don't want to go to the emergency room?
你确定不用去急诊室？
No, no, I'm okay. It stopped bleeding.
我没事，不流血了。
I know, but you did throw up. Isn't that a sign of a concussion?
我知道，但你吐了啊，那不是脑震荡的症状吗？
Yes. But I get car sick, too, so... Okay.
对，但我也晕车，所以……好吧。
Sorry about your car, by the way. Oh, no, it's fine. You got most of it out the window. The poor guy on the bike.
还有，抱歉弄脏你的车。没关系，大部分你都吐车外了。那个骑自行车的可怜人。
Well, I had a nice time. Yeah, me, too. Well, um, good night. Good night.
我今晚过得很愉快。我也是。那晚安啦。晚安。
Leonard? Ahye? Was this supposed to be a date? This?
兰纳德？啊？今晚这是约会吗？今晚？
No. No, of course not. This was just you and me hanging out with a bunch of guys who didn't show up 'cause of work and a colonoscopy.
不是，当然不是。只是你跟我还有一帮因工作和肠镜而没有出现的人的聚会。
Okay, I was just checking.
没事，我只是问问。
When I take a girl on a date— and I do. she knows she's been dated.
如果我跟女孩约会，我确实跟女孩约会，那个女孩会知道她是在约会的。
Capital D. boldface. Under lined. I think I might have a little concussion. I'm gonna go lie down. Good night.
大写D，黑体，下衬线。我可能脑震荡了，我去躺躺。晚安
So, how was your date? Awesome! Score one for liquor and poor judgment.
约会如何？赞！凭酒跟糊涂得一分。
