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Look, Saturn 3 is on. I don't want to watch Saturn 3. Deep Space Nine is better.
看啊，正在放土星三号呢。我不想看土星三号，深空九号更好看。
How is Deep Space Nine better than Saturn 3?
深空九号哪有土星三号好看。
Simple subtraction will tell you it's six better.
简单的减法告诉你六更好。
Compromise. Watch Babylon 5.
折衷一下，看巴比伦五号好了。
In what sense is that a compromise?
这是哪门子折衷啊？
Well, five is partway between three... Never mind.
恩，五处在三和九之间...算了。
I'll tell you what. How about we go rock paper scissors? Ooh, I don't think so.
要不这样，我们来用石头剪子布决定。不行，我不干。
Anecdotal evidence suggests that in the game of rock paper scissors, players familiar with each other will tie 75 to 80% of the time due to the limited number of outcomes.
数据统计显示，在石头剪子布中，由于出法太少，相熟的玩家有75%到80%的可能性会打平。
I suggest rock paper scissors lizard Spock.
我建议采用石头剪刀布蜥蜴史波克。
What? It's very simple. Scissors cuts paper. Paper covers rock.
什么？很简单，剪子剪布，布包石头，
Rock crushes lizard. Lizard poisons Spock.
石头压蜥蜴，蜥蜴毒死史波克，
Spock smashes scissors. Scissors decapitates lizard.
史波克压碎剪子，剪子腰斩蜥蜴。
Lizard eats paper. Paper disproves Spock. Spock vaporizes rock. And as it always has, rock crushes scissors.
蜥蜴吃布，布否定史波克，史波克蒸发石头，再加上一如既往的规则，石头砸剪子。
Okay, I think I got it. Rock paper scissors lizard Spock!
行啊，我应该会玩了。石头剪刀布蜥蜴史波克。
Hello, boys. Ahoy, matey. Noticed the eye patch, did you?
嗨伙计们。啊嗬朋友。看见这个眼罩了对吧？
It's all part of a technique I've been studying for picking up women.
这是我泡妞宝典中的一种技巧。
You employ a visual display designed to make yourself distinctive and memorable.
给别人视觉上的冲击力让你显的与众不同。
Oh, yes, like the male peacock with brilliant plumage or the rutting baboon with engorged hindquarters.
就像雄孔雀有漂亮的羽毛，或者发情的狒狒有隆起的臀部一样。
Or in this case, the bar mitzvah boy with pinkeye.
或者可以这么说，像一个得红眼病的犹太男。
Mock me if you will, but it works. You show up at a club in something distinctive, scope out your target and toss out some negs.
尽管嘲笑我吧，不过这招确实有用。你穿成这样去泡吧，寻找你的目标，然后抛出几句反话。
What are negs? A neg is a negative compliment that throws a pretty woman off her game, like
啥叫反话？就是反向的恭维，让漂亮女性忘了她们的小缺陷。好比这样，
"Normally, I'm not turned on by big teeth, but on you, they work."
“通常情况牙有些大的女士不会让我动心，但你就不一样了”
I got a whole list of 'em. Who wants to be my wingman?
我有一大堆招数呢，谁想做我的泡妞搭档？
You're not gonna need a wingman. You're gonna need a paramedic.
你用不着找个泡妞搭档，你应该找个护理搭档。
Howard, your scooter is blocking my car. Aw, did you get pinkeye again?
霍华德你的摩托挡住我的车了。你又得红眼病了？
Step one, she notices the eye patch.
第一步，她注意到了我的眼罩。
May I say, Penny, not a lot of women could look as hot as you do with such greasy hair?
这么说吧佩妮，不是所有女人都和你一样头发油油的还这么性感。
Yeah, just move your stupid scooter before I pick it up and throw it in the dumpster.
赶紧把你那破摩托车开走，不然我马上扔进垃圾堆。
I'm sorry, but I'm not going to watch The Clone Wars TV series until I've seen The Clone Wars movie.
对不起，我现在不看克隆人战争的电视剧，我得先看电影版。
I prefer to let George Lucas disappoint me in the order he intended.
乔治卢卡斯肯定会让我失望，就顺着他的顺序来吧。
Well, I want to watch it now.
我现在就要看。
Then I believe we've arrived at another quint essential rock paper scissors lizard Spock moment.
那又到了石头剪子布蜥蜴史波克的经典一刻了。
Watch whatever you want.
你爱看什么看什么吧。
I saw what you did there. What'd I do?
我看到你的魄力了。我的魄力？
Hello. Hey, Howard. What's wrong? Okay. Okay, we'll be right there.
嗨霍华德，什么事？好好，我们这就过去。
What happened? Howard is at the Mars Rover lab. He says he's in trouble. Defcon 5. Defcon 5? Well, there's no need to rush.
发生什么事了？霍华德在火星探测器实验室，他说遇到麻烦了。五级战备状态。五级战备状态？这么说用不着急着赶过去。
What? Defcon 5 means "no danger." Defcon 1 is a cris.
什么？五级战备状态意味着没有危险。一级战备状态才是危机来临。
How can 5 not be worse than 1? Yeah, Star Trek V worse than I.
五级怎么会还不如一级？就是啊，星际迷航第五部比第一部难看。
Okay, first of all, that's a comparison of quality, not intensity. Secondly, Star Trek I is orders of magnitude worse than Star Trek V.
首先来说我们比较的是影片的品质，而不是激烈程度。再说，星战迷航第一部差第五部不止一个数量级。
Are you joking? Star Trek Vis the standard against which all badness is measured.
你开什么玩笑，星际迷航5简直就是“没有最烂只有更烂”的最好诠释。
No, no. Star Trek V has specific failures in writing and direction, while Star Trek If ails across the board: art direction, costuming, music, sound editing.
不对不对。星际迷航5只是剧本失败，导演很烂，但星际迷航1所有部分都很烂，艺术执导，服装，配乐，音效剪辑。
Can we just forget I said Defcon and go? Star Trek V.
不要再纠结战备状态了，赶快走吧。星际迷航5
All right, will you at least stipulate that Star Trek IV The Voyage Home is inarguably the best?
至少你得承认“星际迷航4重回地球”是最好看的，这毫无争议。
I have three words for you: Wrath of Khan.
送你五个字，凯恩的愤怒。
Oh, thank God, you're here. What's the emergency?
感谢上帝你们可来了。什么事这么急？
I got the Mars Rover stuck in a ditch.
我把火星探测器卡在一条裂沟里了。
Where? On a dusty highway just outside Bakers field. What do you think? On Mars!
在哪里？贝克斯菲尔德郊外一条脏兮兮的高速公路上。还能在哪儿啊？火星呗！
Howard, is everything okay? Yeah, baby, I'll be right in.
霍华德，没事吧？当然宝贝，我就来。
You brought a girl to the Mars Rover control room?
你还把姑娘带进了火星探测器控制室？
Yeah, I picked her up in the bar. She's a doctor. One free barium enema, and my mother won't care she's not Jewish.
是啊，我在酒吧搭上她的，她是个医生，送一次免费的钡餐灌肠，我妈肯定再不介意她不是犹太人了。
Wait a minute. So the eye patch and the insults worked? No, there were three other guys with eye patches. It was a fiasco.
等一下，这么说眼罩和反向恭维奏效了？没有，那里还有三个带眼罩的。简直一败涂地。
What did work was, "How'd you like to visit a secret government facility?"
奏效的是这招：“你想不想参观一处秘密政府设施？”
So what exactly do you want us to do?
那你到底要我们做些什么？
I need you and Raj to help me get the Rover out of the ditch and I need you to get Stephanie out before somebody notices she's here. She doesn't exactly have clearance.
我要你和Raj帮我把火星探测器从沟里拖出来。你呢，在别人发现之前把Stephanie从这带走。她进来都没开证明。
Really? They don't let strange women from honky tonks come in and play with $200 million government projects on distant planets?
真的吗？这儿不让下等酒馆的陌生女人进来拿遥远星球上价值2亿的政府装备当玩具吗？
Yes, I was bad. Maybe she'll spank me. Can we please move on?
好吧我错了。也许她会给我一巴掌。开始行动了好吧？
Hey, Howard, you know, it's getting late, so do I get to drive this thing or what?
嗨霍华德，时间不早了，我什么时候能开上这车？
Yeah. No. I'm sorry, but something is come up. Kind of a Mars Rover... Mars Rover can Howard come over...situation.
不好意思出了点状况。火星探测器...只有霍华德才能解决的火星探测器...的状况。
So my friend Leonard is gonna take you home.
所以我的朋友兰纳德会送你回家。
Oh, okay. Let's go, friend Leonard. Okay. I'll call you. Yeah. So are you a scientist like Howard?
哦好吧，咱们走兰纳德朋友。好吧。我会给你打电话的。好的。这么说你和霍华德一样是个科学家？
No one is a scientist like Howard. My mother is so gonna love her.
没有哪个科学家和霍华德一样。我老妈肯定会爱死她的。
How nice. Maybe they can carpool when they visit you in federal prison.
真甜蜜，也许她们会一起拼车来联邦监狱探视你。
I'm sorry. I totally interrupted you. What, what, what were you saying? Just said Howard is a terrific guy.
对不起我打断你了。你刚才说...说些什么？我就是说霍华德是个棒小伙。
He's got a great sense of humor. He loves his mother...a lot. People say "too much."
他很有幽默感的。也爱他老妈... 爱极了。大家都觉得太过了。
I really like that you're such a loyal friend. Yeah, I am loyal. You know, if you look at the big picture.
我就喜欢你这种仗义朋友型的。对，我很仗义的。当然要整体来看。
Out of curiosity, did he ever have a shot with you? Are you insane? The guy was wearing an eye patch.
我就好奇问一句，你对他有过感觉吗？你疯了吗，那家伙戴着独眼罩的呀。
Then why did you... He said that I could drive a car on Mars. Got it. So, can I see you again?
那为什么你...他说我可以在火星上开车玩。了解了。我们会再见面吗？
You're not gonna see me now. Cool.
现在你肯定看不见我了。爽。
Anything? Actually, I was just checking my email.
有反应了吗？其实我是在查我的电邮。
But, uh, no, the Rover is not responding.
但探测器还是没反应。
I believe the appropriate metaphor here involves a river of excrement and a Native American water vessel without any means of propulsion.
此刻最恰当的比喻应该是，一艘没有推动器的土著船驶进了臭水沟。
Hang on. There's got to be other options.
等等，总归有别的办法吧。
You could try calling Triple A. But based on NASA's latest timetable, they won't get there for 35 years.
也可以试试给美国汽车协会打电话。不过根据航空航天局最新时间表，他们35年后才能到那儿。
Plus I understand you have to be standing next to the vehicle with your card when they arrive.
而且就算到了，你也得带着你的卡到现场排号。
Oh, snap. Snap what? Okay, I guess we have to turn to Plan B. What's Plan B?
哦，利害。什么断了？好吧，那我们得改B计划了。B计划是啥？
Erase all the hard drives, scrap the surveillance tapes, wipe our fingerprints off every surface and run.
格式化硬盘，销毁监视录像带，擦干净我们的指纹，开溜。
Why wasn't that Plan A?
这咋不是A计划呢？
A NASA spokesman states that due to the loss of data, they will most likely be unable to determine the cause of the Mars Rover's malfunction.
航空航天局发言人称，由于数据丢失，很可能难以确定火星探测器的故障原因。
Thank God for Plan B. Howard, didn't you say you worked on the Mars Rover? No, you're mistaken.
还好我们有B计划。霍华德你不是说过你在做火星探测器的工作吗？没，你记错了。
Yeah, when we first met, you said that if I went out with you, I could drive a car on Mars.
没，我们第一次见面你就说，如果和你约会我就可以在火星上开车玩。
I don't know what you're talking about.
搞不懂你在说什么。
Will you all excuse me? Leonard is subtly signaling that he'd like to talk to me in private.
抱歉离开下。兰纳德微妙的暗示了他想和我单独谈谈。
No. Yeah, I remember specifically. You started by asking if I was from Mars because my ass was out of this world.
不，我很清楚地记得，你一张嘴就问我是否来自火星，因为我的翘臀地球罕见。
Well, that does sound like me, but no. Is there some problem?
很有我风格，但不是我啦。出什么状况了吗？
Yeah. Listen, I have to kinda sneak out for a while. All right, goodbye.
是的。我得溜出去一会儿。好的拜拜。
No, wait! If anyone asks you where I went, you don't know.
不等下！要是有人问我去哪儿了你就说不知道。
Where are you going? I can't tell you that.
你要去哪儿？不能告诉你。
Who would ask me? I can't tell you that, either.
谁会问我呢？也不能告诉你这个。
So you brought me in here to inform me that you can't tell me where you're going and you can't tell me who might ask?
你带我进来就是要告诉我，你不能告诉我你要去哪儿，也不能告诉我谁会问起？
Yeah, I really didn't think this through. Leonard, a moment. What?
对呀，是我欠考虑。兰纳德先别走。啥？
If someoneand of course, we don't know who this would bedoes ask where you've gone, what should I say?
要是有人...当然不知到底是谁了...问起你去哪儿，我该说什么呢？
I don't know. Just tell 'em I went to the office.
不知道，就说我去办公室了。
Are you going to the office? No. Then how can I say it convincingly?
你是去办公室吗？不是。那我怎么能说得自然啊？
Just say, "Leonard went to the office." All right. Leonard went to the office.
就说兰纳德去了办公室。好吧，兰纳德去了，这个办公室。
What is... No, not like that! Just, "Leonard went to the office."
这是... 不，不是那样的！就说兰纳德到办公室去了。
This would have worked out a lot better if you'd just told me you were going to the office.
如果你直接说你要去办公室就好办多了嘛。
I'm going to the office. See? Why don't I believe you?
我去办公室。看嘛，我干吗不相信你呢？
I'm going out for a while. Okay. Doesn't anyone want to know where he's going?
出去一会儿。好。没人想知道他去哪儿吗？
Okay, where is he going? Leonard is going to the office.
他去哪儿了？兰纳德去办公室了。
