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Congratulations and welcome temporarily aboard. Here's your I.D. card, your key and your lapel pin. Which Leonard was too cool to wear. FYI, part of your responsibilities as roommate protem will be to drive me to and from work, the comic book store, the barbershop and the park for one hour every other Sunday for fresh air.
恭喜了 欢迎暂时入住 这是你的ID卡 钥匙和胸牌 莱纳德居然觉得这胸牌配不上他 还有 作为临时室友的部分职责是送我上下班 送我去漫画书店 理发店 隔周周日送我去公园呼吸新鲜空气
Bring a ball or a Frisbee, you know, something he can chase.
带上个球或飞盘 好让他去接
Also, you're tasked with bringing home all takeout dinners. Tonight is Thai food. You'll find the standard order in appendix B or downloadable from my FTP server. If you have any questions, here's the FAQ sheet, or if you prefer the human touch, I do a live web chat called "Apartment Talk" on Tuesday nights.
还有 所有的外卖都由你负责帮我带 今晚是泰国菜 标准点菜订单在附录B 或可从我的FTP下载 如有任何问题 这里列出了常见问题的答案 若你更喜欢人性化解答 每周四晚我提供公寓问题的在线聊天服务
No backsies.
不许反悔哦
Sheldon, dinner!
谢尔顿 吃晚餐了
What is this?
这是什么
This is the difference between eating and dining.
这就是单纯吃饭与用餐的区别
Remarkable. I'm just realizing how much Leonard's been skating by all these years.
太了不起了 我这才意识到莱纳德这么些年一直有多敷衍
It's not a big thing. Just think of me as a brown Martha Stewart.
没什么大不了的 就把我看成棕色版的玛莎·斯图尔特吧
Hey, Sheldon, did you change your WiFi password again?
嗨 谢尔顿 你是不是又改了无线上网密码
Yes, it's "Penny, get your own WiFi." No spaces.
对 现在是"佩妮自己去开无线上网" 没有空格
Thanks. What's with the fancy spread?
多谢 这一大桌好料是怎么回事
My new roommate is bending over backwards to ingratiate himself to me. Uh, nice touch, by the way.
这是我的新室友在不遗余力地迎合讨好我 顺便说 胸牌别的好
What do you mean "new roommate"? What happened to Leonard?
什么"新室友" 莱纳德怎么了
The same thing that happened to Homo erectus. He was replaced by a superior species.
跟直立人一样 被更高级物种取代了
I'm the new Homo in town. That came out wrong.
我是这家新新人 那是口误
All right, let me try this again. Where's Leonard?
好吧 这么问吧 莱纳德在哪
He's living at my place, so I'm living here.
他住在我公寓 所以我住这来了
You're living here provisionally. But I must say it's looking good.
你目前只是暂时住这 但我必须说 你干得不错
Leonard and Priya are living together? That's big.
莱纳德和普丽娅同居了 这可是大事啊
No. Origami napkin swans... that's the headline. It's a good thing.
不 手工折的餐巾天鹅 这才是大事 而且是好事
So do you know what kind of research you'll be doing at this pharmaceutical company?
你知道在这个制药厂 你将从事哪方面的研究吗
Well, there are a couple of opportunities available, but I volunteered for the premature ejaculation project.I mean, it's not like either one of us has heart disease. Oh, I almost forgot. I got you a little present.
有很多种选择 但我自愿参加了早泄问题研究 反正我们俩都没有心脏病 差点忘了 我给你买了个小礼物
Oh, Bernie, no. You didn't have to.
妮妮 你不用这样的
I wanted to. Come on, open it.
我想给你买嘛 来 打开看看
You bought me a Rolex? How much did this cost?
你给我买了块劳力士手表 这得多少钱啊
Oh, you let me worry about the money. I just want my baby to have pretty things.
让我来操心赚钱的事吧 我只想我的宝贝拥有漂亮东西
More wine?
再来点酒吗
Oh, no, no, no. I've had way too much already.
不不不 我已经高了
Here's an interesting fact about alcohol...
关于酒 有个很有趣的事...
Hit me.
再给我满上
Man is not the only species that ferments fruit in order to become intoxicated. Can you guess what the other is? Hint: sometimes they pack the alcohol in their trunks.
人类并不是唯一一个会发酵水果酿酒的物种 能猜到还有哪个物种也会吗 提示 有时他们会把酒装进旅行箱
Monkeys.
猴子
When does a monkey have a trunk?
猴子什么时候有旅行箱了
When a suitcase just won't do.
当手提箱太小装不下酒时
Mmm, all right. It would appear as if alcohol is playing keepaway with your intelligence.
好吧 很快就知道酒精是不是正在将你的智力一步步夺走
Good night. Please note, it is now past 10:00 p.m. Per our roommate agreement, kindly refrain from raucous laughter, clinking of glasses, and celebratory gunfire.
晚安 请记住 已经10点多了 根据我们的室友协议 请好心避免 刺耳的笑声 玻璃的叮当声和庆祝的炮火声
Okay... explain something to me. You watch Leonard put up with that guy for years and years.
好吧 请教一下 你眼睁睁看着莱纳德忍受他一年又一年
What has to break inside your brain for you to think, "Oh, Krishna, I've got to get me some of that"? "
你脑子里哪根筋搭错 让你觉得 "克利须那神 我也想被折磨一把"
Well, it's a lot better than having to wear noisecancelling headphones in my own apartment.
这比在自家公寓戴着消音耳机强多了
What? Oh, God, yeah. Yeah. Leonard's a noisy little dude in the sack.
什么 天啊 我懂我懂 莱纳德在床上是个吵死人的小混蛋
Every night. Really? Even during allergy season, when he has to alternate between kissing and breathing?
夜夜笙歌 真的吗 即使在接吻和喘气都得轮流干的 过敏季节也这样吗
It's my sister. Can we not talk about this anymore?
那是我妹妹 咱们就此打住行吗
Yeah. Sorry, sorry. Can I tell you a secret?
好 抱歉抱歉 我能告诉你个秘密吗
Yeah.
行
I screwed up. Leonard's a great guy. Never should have broken up with him.
是我搞砸了 莱纳德是个好人 我不应该跟他分手的
Well, uh, to paraphrase Shakespeare: "It's better to have loved and lost " "than to stay home every night and download increasingly shameful pornography."
我改编一下莎士比亚的话好了 爱过 失去过" "总好过每晚在家" "下载日益下流的黄色图片"
Ohh... you poor baby.
你个可怜的小家伙
What's wrong with me, Penny?
我这是什么毛病 佩妮
Nothing, nothing. You know, if we weren't friends, and you hadn't brought up that creepy pornography story, I'd be on you like the speed of light squared on matter to make energy.
没病 没病 如果我们不是朋友 如果你没提到那个恶心黄色图片小故事的话 我肯定会爬到你身上以光速平方进出身体 产生能量
Hey, you totally got that right! "E=mc2."
哇 你居然完全懂啊 能量等于质量乘以光速的平方
I listen. I have no idea what it means, but I listen.
我听着呢 虽然不知道什么意思 但我听着呢
To friendship.
致友谊
To friendship.
致友谊
Would you booze hounds please stop that infernal clinking?! And the answer was elephant!
你们俩酒鬼能别发出那种讨人厌的碰杯声吗 还有 答案是大象
Leonard, sweetheart, we're kissing, not eating hot soup.
莱纳德 亲爱的 我们是在接吻 不是在喝热汤
Sorry.
抱歉
That's my parents on video chat. Go hide in the bedroom.
我父母要跟我视频通话 快躲进卧室里
Oh, come on! Why don't we just tell them that we're dating?
拜托 为什么不直接告诉他们 我们在约会呢
Oh, we've been through this. It's not the time.
我们讨论过这个 现在还不是时候
When is the time?
那何时才是时候
I've got five brothers and sisters. One of them is bound to screw up real big, and then I'll tell my parents about you. Now, shoo. Fine.
我有5个兄弟姐妹 肯定会有其中一个闯大祸 到时候我就向我父母介绍你 现在快闪 好吧
Hello, Mummy. Hello, Daddy.
你好 妈咪 你好 爹地
We heard there was a tornado in Kansas City. Is that close to you?
我们听说堪萨斯城有龙卷风 那离你们近吗
No.
不近
Where is your brother?
你哥哥呢
Out with friends.
跟朋友出去玩了
I don't like it, a young girl alone in an apartment.
我不喜欢这样 一个年轻姑娘独自在家
I'll sleep so much better when you move back here next month.
等你下个月搬回来后 我的睡眠质量肯定上升不少
You're moving back to India?!
你要搬回印度
Who's that?
谁在那儿
Oh, my God! There's someone in your apartment. Call the police in America!
天啊 你屋子里有别人 快打电话给美国的警察
When were you going to tell me about this?
你打算什么时候告诉我这事
Oh, hello, Leonard. What a pleasant surprise! Mummy, Daddy, you remember Rajesh's friend Leonard.
你好啊 莱纳德 真是个意外的惊喜啊 妈咪爹地 你还记得拉杰的朋友莱纳德吧
I thought you said Rajesh was out with his friends.
我以为你说拉杰跟朋友出去玩了
He has many friends.
他有很多朋友
Rajesh has many friends?
拉杰居然有很多朋友
Why are you lying to us?
你为什么要对我们撒谎
She's lying because she doesn't want you to know we're dating.
她撒谎是因为她不想告诉你们 我们在约会
Leonard!
莱纳德
Well, what difference does it make? If you're moving back to India, we're obviously breaking up.
现在还有什么区别吗 如果你回印度 我们肯定是要分手的
You know what? I don't want to deal with this right now.
那啥 我现在不想讨论这个问题
So... Hot in India?
所以说 印度很热吧
Of course it is. It always is. It's India. Now, what do you have to say for yourself?
当然是 一直是 这可是印度 现在你有什么好说的
That is a beautiful tapestry.
你们家的挂毯真漂亮
Oh, God.
天啊
Oh, God! Okay, look. This never happened. Do you understand me? Really?! Still can't talk to me?
上帝啊 你给我听着 这事从没发生过 明白吗 搞毛啊 都这样了还不敢跟姐说话
What are you doing here? What?
你在这儿干嘛 什么
I said, what are you doing here?
我问 你在这儿干嘛
I live here.
我住这儿
I have paperwork that says differently.
我的文件可不是这么说的
Priya's going back to India.
普丽娅要回印度了
Irrelevant. Rajesh and I have a good thing going and you're not going to ruin it.
这是两码事 拉杰和我相处得很融洽 你不能就这么毁掉它
What are you doing here?
你来这儿干嘛
I've been up all night. I had a fight with Bernadette.
我一宿没睡 我跟贝纳黛特吵了一架
Why?
为什么
She gave me a beautiful watch.
她送了我一块漂亮的手表
Leonard, do you understand this?
莱纳德 你懂他在说啥吗
Yes. Talk to him.
我懂 跟他说去
Damn.
完了
What's going on?
这是怎么回事
It's...it's not what it looks like.
反正不是你们看上去的那样
What does it look like?
那到底看上去像怎么样
