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So two years later, there's a knock on the door.
两年之后，突然有人敲门了
Guy opens it, and there on his porch is the snail, who says, "What the heck was all that about?"
"这TM是怎么回事?"，那人打开门，看见门口立着只蜗牛，蜗牛说
I don't really get it.
我不知道笑点在哪儿
Well, see, it took two years for the snail to...
你看蜗牛花了两年的时间才...
Not important.
那不重要
Can I ask you a question?，Sure.
-我能问你个问题吗，当然
Where do you think this is going?
你认为我们会发展到什么程度
To be honest, I was hoping at least second base.
老实说，我本来希望至少上个二垒
You're so funny.
你真风趣
You're like a stand-up comedian.
你就像是个单口相声演员
A Jewish stand-up comedian, that'd be new.
一个犹太单口相声演员，这很新鲜
Actually, I think a lot of them are Jewish.
事实上，我觉得他们当中很多都是犹太人
No, I was just... Never mind.
不，我只是，算了
Look, Howard, this is our third date and we both know what that means.
霍华德，这是我们的第三次约会我们都知道这意味着什么
- We do?，- Sex.
-都知道吗，-性
You're kidding.
你开玩笑的吧
But I need to know whether you're looking for a relationship or a one-night stand.
但我需要知道你是要谈一场恋爱还是要一夜情
Okay, just to be clear: there's only one correct answer, right?
好的，只是搞清楚点这个问题只有一个正确答案吗
It's not like "chicken or fish" on an airplane?
而不是飞机选餐里的要"鸡肉还是鱼肉"
Maybe you need to think about it a little.
也许你需要认真思考一下这个问题了
You know, it's not unheard of for a one-night stand to turn into a relationship.
也不是没有过从一夜情发展为恋爱关系的事
Call me when you figure it out.
等你想明白了再给我打电话
Three dates means sex?
三次约会意味着性
Who knew?
谁知道啊
Greetings, homies.
向你致敬，宅男
Homette.
宅女
Why are you back from your date so early?
为什么这么早就结束约会回来了
In romance, as in show business, always leave them wanting more.
谈恋爱，就要跟在娱乐业一样总是要让观众欲求不满
What exactly does that mean?
这到底是什么意思
He struck out.
他被三振出局了
Hey, did either of you guys know that three dates with the same woman is the threshold for sex?
你们两个知道与同一个女人约会三次就可以上床的临界点?，
Actually, I've never had three dates with the same woman.
事实上，我从未与同一女人约会三次
With Penny and me, it took two years.
而我和佩妮花了两年
Now that I think about it, that was three dates.
现在认真回想一下，的确是三次约会
Okay, well, before you and Penny hooked up, did she ask for any kind of commitment?
好吧，那在你和佩妮搞上之前她有没有要求什么承诺
No, she was pretty clear about wanting to keep her options open.
没，她倒是非常清楚地表示要有保持随时换人的权力
I have something to announce, but out of respect for convention, I will wait for you to finish your current conversation.
我有东西要宣布一下但是出于惯例，我会等你们说完现在的话题
What are you talking about?
你们在聊什么呢
The cultural paradigm in which people have sex after three dates.
一种文化模式就是人们会在三次约会后做爱
I see.
原来如此
Now, are we talking "date," the social interaction, or "date," the dried fruit?
现在我们是说的"date"是指社交活动还是指干枣
Never mind, what's your announcement? Oh, good, my turn. Well, this is very exciting and I wanted you to be among the first to know...
算了，你要宣布什么很好，轮到我了，这令人非常兴奋并且我想让你们最先知道
Hey, Cooper. I hear you're going to be on the radio with Ira Flatow from Science Friday next week.
嗨，库珀我听说你下周要和《科学星期五》的艾拉·弗雷托上广播节目
Thank you, Kripke, for depriving me of the opportunity to share my news with my friends.
谢谢，克瑞普克，剥夺了我跟我的朋友分享这则新闻的机会
My pleasure.
很荣幸
My "thank you" was not sincere.
我的"谢谢"可不是诚恳的
But "my pleasure" is.
但我的"很荣幸"是的
Let me ask you a question:
让我问你个问题
At what point did National Public Radio have to start scraping the bottom of the barrel for its guests?
什么时候国家公共广播不得不邀请一些废材作为嘉宾呢
Don't answer. It's rhetorical.
别回答，这是个比喻
Why are you such a stupid head?
为什么你是个笨蛋
That is also rhetorical.
这也是个比喻
I'm sorry you had to hear that.
真抱歉你们不得不听到这些
Are you really going to be on NPR?
你真的要上国家公共广播吗
Yes, they're interviewing me by phone from my office, regarding the recent so-called "discovery" of magnetic monopoles in spin-ices.
没错，他们通过我办公室的电话采访我问一些最近所谓的"发现"关于自旋冰中的磁单极子
It's pledge week and they're trying to goose the ratings with a little controversy.
因为是誓言周，他们想通过一些辩论来提高收听率
Very cool, congratulations.
真酷，恭喜你
Thank you. My mother is very excited.
谢谢，我妈妈也非常兴奋
She's convening her Bible study group to listen in, and then pray for my soul.
她召集了她的圣经学习小组来收听然后为我的灵魂祈祷
I was on the radio once.
我曾经上过一次电台
I called in to Fever 104 FM New Delhi
我打进了新德里的狂热FM104的热线
and was the fourth person to say the phrase that pays:
成为了第四个说一句话就能拿钱的人
"Fever 104, aajke naye，acchha sangeetka ghar."
"狂热104， aajke naye，acchha sangeetka ghar."
That means: "Fever 104,
意思是"狂热104
home of the really good current music."
超棒流行音乐之家
It's much catchier in Hindi.
还是在印度语里说更拉风
All right. These are the talking points for my NPR interview tomorrow.
好的，这些是明天上国家公共广播访谈的讲点
I need to make sure that they're simple enough for the less educated in the audience to understand.
我必须确定它们对于那些教育程度较低的听众来说也足够简单易懂
Howard, look this over and tell me what's unclear to you.
霍华德，看一遍然后告诉我你哪里不懂
Excuse me, I have a master's degree in engineering from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.
劳驾，我有麻省理工大学的工程硕士学位证书
It required the completion of 144 units of grad work and an original thesis.
要求修完144个学分和一篇原创论文
Yes.
没错
Look this over and tell me what's unclear to you.
看完告诉我有哪些不清楚的
You know, when Sheldon gives you homework, you don't have to do it.
谢尔顿让你做事你可以拒绝
In fact, it's better if you don't, otherwise it makes the rest of us look bad.
其实你拒绝更好不然搞得我们几个很尴尬
- Hi, guys. - Hey. Hello.
-各位好，-你好
Yo, Raj, talk to me.
拉杰，跟我说话
I'm sorry, just screwing with you.
抱歉，耍你而已
Hey, Howard, why haven't you called Bernadette?
霍华德，你干嘛不打电话给伯纳黛特
Did she say something?
她说什么了吗
Yeah, she said she hasn't heard from you in a week. I thought you liked her?
她说你一个星期没跟她联系了我以为你喜欢她呢
I do, but she wants a commitment and I'm not sure she's my type.
是喜欢，但她要我给个承诺我又不确定她是不是我喜欢的类型
She agreed to go out with you for free. What more do you need?
她都愿意免费跟你约会你还想怎么样
Look, Bernadette is really nice. I just always thought when I finally settle down into a relationship, it would be with someone,，you know, different.
伯纳黛特是很好我只是一直觉得，当我想认真的对待感情时对方应该是一个你知道，一个特别的人
Different how?
怎么特别
Well, you know, more like Megan Fox from Transformers.
更像《变形金刚》里的梅根·福克斯啦
Or Katee Sackhoff from Battlestar Galactica.
或者《太空堡垒卡拉狄加》里的凯蒂·萨克霍夫啦
Are you high?
你嗑药啦
You'd have a better shot with the three-breasted Martian hooker from Total Recall.
你跟《宇宙威龙》里有三个咪咪的火星妓女在一起的可能性更大点
Okay, now you're just being unrealistic.
你说的太不实际了
Anyway, that movie was like 20 years ago. Imagine how saggy those thing would be.
那部电影都差不多20年了想想那些咪咪该下垂成什么样了
Howard, you're going to throw away a great girl like Bernadette because you're holding out for some ridiculous fantasy?
霍华德，你想守着你的荒诞幻想不放而放过像伯纳黛特这么好的女生吗
Hey, just because you settled doesn't mean I have to.
你的感情定下来了不代表我也要这样吧
Excuse me, I'm sitting here.
喂，我在这坐着呢
Hey, I did not settle for Leonard. I mean, obviously, he isn't the kind of guy I usually go out with...
我又没有和莱纳德定下来他显然不像我通常约会的类型
you know, physically.
体格上不像
Again, I'm right here.
再说一次，我在呢
My point is, I do not judge a book by its cover. I am interested in the person underneath.
我的意思是，我不会以封面断定书的好坏我更在意人的内心
I am here, right? You see me.
我在这吧，你看得见我
Hey, I'm interested in what's inside people, too,
我也在意人的内心啊
but why is it wrong to want those insides wrapped up in, say, the delicious caramel that is Halle Berry?
但是希望内心外面包装点像哈莉·贝瑞（肤色黑）的巧克力不对吗
Yes, you're delicious caramel, too.
对，你也是巧克力装
All right, you know what, I will tell you why it's wrong... Excuse me, may I interject?
行，我告诉为什么不对抱歉，我能插下话吗
What?
干嘛
Biologically speaking, Howard is perfectly justified in seeking out the optimum mate for the propagation of his genetic line.
从生物学角度上说霍华德想找最佳伴侣繁殖后代完全合情合理
Thank you, Sheldon.
-谢谢，谢尔顿
Now, whether that propagation is in the interest of humanity is, of course, an entirely different question.
不过，但这种繁殖如果站在人类进化的角度来看又是完全不同的问题
This is Ira Flatow and you're listening to NPR's Science Friday.
我是艾拉·弗莱托您正在收听的是公共广播电台的周五科学
Joining us today by phone from his office in Pasadena, California is Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
今晚跟我们电话连线的是在加州帕萨迪纳办公室里的谢尔顿·库珀博士
Oh, this is going to be a riot.
这个肯定很好玩
Thanks for being with us today, Dr. Cooper.
欢迎参加我们的节目，库珀博士
My pleasure, Ira.
我很荣幸，艾拉
Now, let's talk about magnetic monopoles.
我们讨论一下磁单极子吧
Can you explain to our audience just what a monopole is?
你能给听众解释一下什么是磁单极子吗
Of course.
当然可以
First, consider an ordinary magnet which has, as even the most uneducated in your audience must know, two poles.
首先，一块普通的磁铁即使教育程度再低的听众都应该知道，有两个磁极
A north and south pole.
南极和北极
If you cut that in half, you have two smaller magnets, each with its own north and south pole.
把磁铁切成两半，则变成较小的两块磁铁每块都有南北两极
Uh, Dr. Cooper, I think there might be something wrong with our connection.
库珀博士，我们的连线可能出了点问题
No, I hear you fine.
不，我听得很清楚
As I was saying, an ordinary magnet has two poles.
正如我刚刚说的，普通磁铁有两个磁极
The primary characteristic of a monopole is that it has only one pole, hence, monopole.
磁单极子的主要特征是它只有一个磁极，因此称为磁单极子
A requirement for string theory, or M-theory, if you will, is the existence of such monopoles.
弦理论，或者说M理论的一个必要条件是存在磁单极子
I, myself, led an expedition to the Arctic Circle in search of said particles.
我本人曾带领一个考察队前往北极圈探寻这种粒子
Kripke, I found the nozzle! I'm going to kill you!
克瑞普克，我看到喷嘴了，你死定了
So nice you could join me this evening.
真高兴你今晚能和我共浴
You're looking lovely as always.
你跟往常一样漂亮
Thanks, Howard.
过奖，霍华德
Always nice to be part of your masturbatory fantasies.
一向乐意加入你的手淫幻想
