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Joey: Hello.
喂。
Chandler: Hey, it's me. I know you can't stand to be in the same room as me, so I just thought I'd try and apologize over the phone. All...
嘿，是我。我知道你是不愿意和我一起住了但我还是想在电话里给你道歉。我......
Joey: Hello.
喂。
Chandler: Look I never should've kissed your girlfriend, and I'm...
我的确不应该去吻你的女朋友，但我......
Joey: Stop calling! !
别再打来了。
Voice: Hey! Hey! Hey! This is 92.3, WXRK, K-Rock calling for our $1,000 daily challenge.
这儿是92.3，WXRK来挑战我们每日的1000美元大奖吧。
Joey: All right!
好啊！
Voice: What is the name of your roommate who is very, very sorry and would do anything...
请问你那位非常抱歉，愿意为你做任何事的室友叫什么名字？
Joey: Damn it Chandler! Stop calling!
可恶！钱德，别再打来了。
Ross: Joey-Joey, it's Ross.
乔伊，我是罗斯。
Joey: Oh. Sorry man.
哦，对不起。
Ross: That's all right.
没关系。
Joey: What's up?
什么事？
Ross: Uh-not much. Uh I got, I got Chandler here and he's really really sorry-.
也没什么，钱德在我这边，他非常非常抱歉......
Chandler: Aww, turkey! Aww, giving thanks! Aww!
啊，火鸡！啊，感恩！啊！
Phoebe: Look everyone, it's the spirit of Thanksgiving!
看啊，这正是感恩节的真谛。
Rachel: So are things with you and Joey any better?
你跟乔伊好一点了吗？
Chandler: They couldn't be worse. I spent eight hours calling him last night, just trying to get him to talk to me.
糟糕透了，昨晚我给他拨了八个小时的电话想让他和我说话。
Rachel: Oh, wow, eight hours? So you could probably really use one of those plug-in telephone headsets huh?
八个小时？那你一定用的着那种配在电话上的小耳机？
Ross: Should we all expect Christmas gifts that can be stolen from your office?
你给我们的圣诞礼物就只能是你从办公室里偷来的小玩意么？
Rachel: You shouldn't.
没你的份。
Phoebe: Speaking of Christmas, umm since Monica and I are starting a new business and have like no money, umm, this year maybe we could do Secret Santa, and then we each only buy one gift.
说到圣诞节，莫妮卡和我刚开始新的生意没什么钱。今年可以来个秘密的圣诞，我们每人就买一个礼物。
And-and there's the added mystery of you know, who gets who.
这样还多了个神秘感看谁送给谁。
Ross: Who gets whom. I don't know why I do that. But it is correct.
谁送给谁，我不知道为什么这么做。但是也合理。
Monica: . Hey, what's this? What, it's all of your names. Let's pick!
这是什么？是你们的名字！来抽吧！
Joey: Hey what's going...
你们在......
Everybody: No Joey! ! Stay!
乔伊，不要走。
Monica: Joey come on! We're picking names for Secret Santa.
乔伊，快来，我们要抽签送礼物。
Joey: Ok. I invented Secret Santa. You know?
好啦，“秘密圣诞老人”是我发明的，你们知道吗？
Rachel: What are you laughing at? You're the one who said Die Hard was your idea.
你笑什么？你也说过《虎胆龙威》是你的构想。
Ross: It was! Don't make me show you the napkin!
本来就是，别逼我把纸巾拿出来。（意即这也是他的创意）
Rachel: Well, I'm gonna take a nap, turkey makes me sleepy.
我得睡一会火鸡让我感到困了。
Monica: We haven't eaten yet!
我们还没吃那。
Rachel: I know, but all that work you're doing to get it ready, And I just...
我知道，但你们一直在准备，那我就......
Chandler: Hey, by any chance did either of you pick uh Rachel for your secret Santa, 'cause I wanna trade for her.
你们谁打算送给瑞秋？因为我想送她个礼物。
Phoebe: I picked her! Oh thank God you want her! Ooh!
我选的她，谢天谢地你想要给她。
Chandler: Wow! Why do you wanna get rid of her so badly?
为什么你这么不想送她礼物？
Phoebe: Because she exchanges every gift she ever gets, it's like impossible to get her something she likes. Come on, let's trade!
因为她老是把她得的礼物拿去换了根本没法送给她她想要的东西来吧，咱俩换换！
Chandler: Oh that's not true! That's not true! I got her that backpack and she loved it!
不会的，不会的，她很喜欢我送她的那个背包的。
I remember how much she was crying the day that big dog ran off with it...
我还记得背包被那只大狗叼走的时候她哭的多伤心。
Oh, there was no big dog. All right this sucks 'cause I already got her this briefcase, and I had R.G. put on it...Her initials...
原来没有什么大狗不管这个了。我已经给她买了个皮包还在上面印上了R.G，她名字的首字母。
Phoebe: Ohh. Ok, I'm really bad at initials.
我很不会认缩写。
Monica: Wow! You got your shopping done early this year.
你今年礼物买得真早。
Chandler: Yeah well my Camel Cash was about to expire so...
我的骆驼香烟的兑奖卷快过期了，所以......
Monica: Maybe you can give it to somebody else. Ooh, like Ross Geller.
也许你可以送给别人，像罗斯盖勒。
Chandler: Aw, you know what though, it's kind of a girlie briefcase.
那是个女用公事包。
Monica: Who cares? He works in a museum!
那又怎样，他在博物馆上班。
Chandler: Hey, what time is it? The big game is about to start!
现在几点？球赛要开始了。
Phoebe: You don't have to do that, Ross and Joey aren't here, you can watch the parade if you want.
不必装了，罗斯乔伊不在，你可以看游行。
Chandler: Thanks.
谢了。
Monica: What is wrong with this freezer? ! Ow! Oowah! !
冷冻室出什么毛病了，嗷！嗷！
Phoebe: God, what happened? !
怎么了？
Monica: Oh my God, ice just got in my eye!
天啊，冰渣进我眼睛了！
Rachel: People are trying to sleep in here!
这里有人要睡觉。
Chandler: Monica got ice in her eye, and it hurts.
莫妮卡的眼睛被冰扎到很痛。
Phoebe: Open it up, let me see.
睁开，让我看看。
Monica: Oh, you know what, I can't, it really kills.
不行，太疼了。
Chandler: Well maybe you should put some ice on it.
那或许该放些冰块在上面。
Phoebe: Ooh, God, it looks bad.
看上去很严重。
Rachel: Honey, maybe we should take you to a doctor.
我们该带你去看医生。
Monica: No, my eye doctor is Richard! I can't go to him when I don't have a boyfriend!
我的眼科医生是瑞切德！我不能去找他，除非我有男朋友。
Chandler: He's really picky about his patients.
他对他的病人还真挑剔。
Phoebe: Ok, you've gotta go. What's his office number?
你必须得去，他办公室电话号码是多少？
Monica: Like I remember his office number! Speed dial 7.
好像我记得似的！快捷键7。
Phoebe: Hi! Yeah, I'm calling on behalf of Monica Geller's eye, and is um, is Richard Burke in today? He's out of town, but does she wanna see the on call doctor?
我在代表莫妮卡的眼睛说话，Richard Burke今天值班么？他出城了，那她愿意见其他医生么，随叫随到的？
Monica: Yes! !
好的！
Phoebe: Yes! She's very excited about that. Ok we'll be right in.
好，她听到这个非常兴奋，我们马上过去。
Chandler: Ok, so, uh, who's gonna-who's gonna take her in?
谁要带她去？
Rachel: I'll go. You can watch the parade.
我去，你去看游行。
Phoebe: So cool, 'til Monica gets back, it's like I'm head chef and I get to make all the decisions.
太酷了，莫妮卡回来之前我就是主管，所有决定都由我来做。
Ross: Hey-hey, I thought she told you to follow the recipe exactly!
嘿—嘿，我想她跟你说了让你按照食谱来。
Phoebe: Ok, get out of my kitchen!
滚出我的厨房！
Chandler: All right! Ok! I think I am making some progress with Joey, when I went into the apartment he went straight into his bedroom but he only slammed the door once!
我想我和乔伊之间取得进展了。我进房的时候，他径直回他的卧室但他只摔了一下门。
I mean yeah, he gave me the finger while doing it.
摔门的时候，对我比了中指。
Phoebe: All right I...I gotta call my mom and ask her a left-handed cooking question.
我得问我妈左手烹饪的问题，
I'm gonna be in there Awh, while I'm gone. Chandler, you're in charge!
我要进房里去，我不在的时候，钱德，你负责。
Ross: So listen, ah, I picked Monica for Secret Santa, but I'm already getting her something for Chanukah, I was wondering if you wanna switch.
我选了送莫妮卡东西，但我在光明节送过她了。你和我换换？
Chandler: Oh you know what, I was already trying to trade for ah, well, you.
知道么，我是想要送给你。
Ross: Really? ! Wow! That's-that's so nice, what-what're you gonna get me?
真的？真好，你要送我什么？
Chandler: I don't know R.G. , I was thinking something girlie for your office.
我不知道，R.G。本来想给你个办公室里用的女式用品。
Ross: Yeah, well maybe Phoebe will switch with me.
也许菲比会跟我换。
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, you don't wanna do that, then you're gonna get stuck with Rachel and she exchanges every gift she ever gets.
不，不，别去。不然你和瑞秋就麻烦了她总是把得到的礼物拿去换。
Ross: Oh, that's not true! I got her lots of stuff she never took back.
不可能，我送了她很多东西她都留着的。
Chandler: Like?
比如？
Ross: Like uh, that gold necklace I got her last year.
像我去年送她的金项链。
Chandler: When was the last time you saw her wear it?
比如，那个金项链，我去年送她的。
Ross: Well, she wore it all Christmas day, and then uh...
她圣诞节整天都戴着，然后......
Chandler: Big dog?
大狗？
Ross: Hey!
嘿！
Joey: Hey!
嘿！
Ross: What're you doing?
你在干什么？
Joey: I'm sending back all this stuff that Chandler bought out of guilt.
把钱德因内疚买的东西退回去。
Ross: Everything? Even the TV?
全部？包括电视？
Joey: No! I'm putting that in my room.
不！我把它放在我房间里了。
Ross: Listen, Joey, uh, I know what he did was wrong but don't you think you could at least hear the guy out?
听着乔伊，我知道他做的不对，但你不能听听他解释么？
Joey: Back when you and Rachel were together, if Chandler had kissed her, would you hear him out?
话说回来，当你和瑞秋在一起时要是钱德吻了她，你会听他解释吗？
Ross: It's a good point. So uh, how long are you gonna punish him?
有道理，你准备惩罚他多久？
Joey: Five years.
五年。
Ross: You've sentenced him? !
你还判了刑？
Joey: Hey! Don't do the crime if you can't do the time.
嘿，若要人不知，除非己莫为。
Ross: Joey, the guy's your best friend.
他是你最要好的朋友。
Joey: No, was, my best friend. Anyway, I don't know why you're pushing for him so hard.
不，曾经是而已。不知道你为啥要替他说话。
With him out of the way as my best friend, there's a spot open.
他不再是我最好的朋友了。那就有另外的人来当了。
Ross: Oh, who? Me?
谁？我？
Joey: Yeah!
当然！
Ross: Wow! I am honored! You know what I'm gonna do as my first act as your best friend?
我真荣幸，你知道我作为朋友首先要做什么？
Joey: What?
什么？
Ross: I'd get you to talk to Chandler.
拉你去跟钱德说话。
Joey: All right. But if you weren't my best friend.
好吧。你如果不是我最好的朋友的话。
Kathy: Oh my God, is it really that bad?
天哪，真的那么严重？
IChandler: I walk into a room and he won't even talk to me, he just mumbles something in Italian. And I know he only knows the bad words.
我回房间他都不和我说话，他只是用意大利语在嘟囔，也只有他才懂那些骂人的词儿。
Kathy: I am so so sorry. I feel responsible.
真对不起，都是我不好。
Chandler: It's not your fault.
不是你的错。
Joey: Hey Gunther, have you uh, have you seen Chandler?
甘瑟，你有看见钱德吗？
Gunther: I thought you were Chandler. But umm, one of you is over there.
我一直以为你是钱德，你们其中一个在那边。
Kathy: Oh.
噢。
Chandler: Hey Joe.
嗨，乔伊。
Joey: va' fa Napoli!
（意大利语）
Doctor: I'll be right with you. Ok? Thanks for coming in.
请稍等一下，好吗？谢谢你过来。
Monica: Oh my God! How cute is the on call doctor?
天哪，这个候诊医生真帅。
Rachel: Ooh, so cute, that I'm thinking about jamming this pen into my eye.
是够帅，我都想把钢笔扔进我眼睛里了。
Rachel: You have the best luck with eye doctors!
你的眼科医生缘真好。
Monica: I know!
我知道。
Nurse: Dr. Burke will see you know.
柏克医生可以见你了。
Monica: Oh no-no, no, not Dr. Burke. Dr. Burke is out of town. The the on call doctor will see me now.
不不，Burke医生出城去了，现在我要看的是另一个医生。
Nurse: Dr. Richard Burke is out of town. Dr. Timothy Burke, his son, will see you now.
Richard Burke医生是出城了，但要给你看病的是Timothy Burke，他的儿子。
Dr. Timothy Burke: Ready?
准备好了吗？
Chandler: Hey! I'm sorry! That- where are you going?
嘿！我很抱歉，那是......你要去哪里？
Joey: My folks.
我爸妈家。
Chandler: Oh, uh, when-when're you coming back?
什么时候回来？
Joey: I don't know. I might stay there for a few days while I look for an apartment.
不知道，在家待一段时间，去找个新房子住。
Chandler: What? !
什么？
Joey: Yeah, you know uh, at first I thought we could talk about this you know, work it out, but uh, seeing you two together I don't uh...
起初我还以为咱俩能就此事谈谈，然后和好，但一看到你俩在一起，我就......
Chandler: Hey, look, what do you want me to say? Do you want me to say that I'll stop seeing her?
那你想让我说什么？你想让我说我不会再去见她？
Joey: Look, it's not about her. Ok? But seeing you two together just reminds me what you did.
跟她无关，好吗？一看到你俩就让我想起你的所作所为。
And I don't wanna live with someone who doesn't know what it is to be a friend. So, I'll see you.
我不会和一个不知道怎么去做别人朋友的人住在一起，那我告辞了。
Chandler: Hey, look, I know, what it is to be a friend, I just-I screwed up!
我知道怎么去当一个朋友，我只是，只是没做到。
Joey: Yeah! You did! And that's why I'm leaving.
是没做到，所以我要搬走。
Chandler: All right look, if you're not gonna stay for me, then at least stay for them!
你不为我留下来至少为它们留下来。
Ok, they have had a very difficult year! What with the robbery and all! And that chick used to be very cute!
它们这1年很不顺，还被抢。小鸡本来很可爱的。
Joey: When that guy was robbing us, and I was locked in the entertainment unit for like six hours, you know what I was doing in there all that time? I was thinking about how I let you down!
那个家伙在抢我们东西的时候，我被锁在柜子里达6个小时。你知道我当时在干嘛吗？我是在想我多么的对不起你。
Chandler: Wow.
哇哦。
Joey: Yeah! But if I would've know what kind of friend you were gonna turn out to be, I wouldn't've worried about it so much! See you around!
但要是早知道你是这种所谓的朋友我才不会那样做，再见！
Chandler: All right, wait! Come on! Just wait one second! There has to be something that I can do! Something!
等等，就等一下。再给我个机会。
If we still had that entertainment unit I would get in it for six hours and think about how I let you down.
要是还有那个柜子，我宁愿在里面待上6个小时，在里面想我是怎样的对不起你。
Chandler: What?
什么？
Joey: We got a box.
我们有一个箱子。
