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Then one day as I was walking down to Mrs. Helms' house, Mrs. Loski drove by.
然后有一天当我去哈姆斯太太家的时候，洛世奇太太正好开车经过。
She waved and smiled, and I realized with a pang of guilt that I wasn't being very neighborly about my eggs.
她招手对我微笑，但我感到一阵内疚，因为在鸡蛋方面我没有表现得很友善。
She didn't know that Mrs. Helms and Mrs. Stueby were paying me for these eggs. She probably thought I was delivering them out of the kindness of my heart.
她不知道哈姆斯和史努比太太为鸡蛋付了钱的。她可能认为我送鸡蛋是因为我很好心。
And maybe I should've been giving the eggs away, but I'd never had a steady income before.
也许我不应该把鸡蛋送出去，但我从没有过固定的收入。
Allowance at our house is a hit-or-miss sort of thing. Usually a miss.
在我们家通常都不会有零用钱。
And earning money from my eggs gave me this secret happy feeling, which I was reluctant to have the kindness of my heart encroach upon.
而通过鸡蛋赚钱给了我一种神秘的快乐感，这似乎占据了我的好心。
But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that Mrs. Loski deserved some free eggs.
但是我越想越觉得，洛世奇太太应该得到一些免费鸡蛋。
She had been a good neighbor to us, lending us supplies when we ran out unexpectedly and being late to work herself when my mother needed a ride because our car wouldn't start.
她是个很好的邻居，经常帮助我们家，我家车坏了时，还让我妈妈搭顺风车。
A few eggs now and again... it was the least I could do.
我只有送些鸡蛋表示感谢。
There was also the decidedly blissful possibility of running into Bryce.
而且这还有极大的可能遇到布莱斯。
And in the chilly sparkle of a new day, Bryce's eyes seemed bluer than ever.
在这样寒冷的充满生气的新的一天，布莱斯的眼睛看起来湛蓝无比。
The way he looked at me -- the smile, the blush -- it was a Bryce I didn't get to see at school. The Bryce at school was way more protected.
他看着我的方式--他微笑脸红的样子--是我没在学校里见过的。在学校的布莱斯似乎更加防备。
By the third time I brought eggs over to the Loskis, I realized that Bryce was waiting for me. Waiting to pull the door open and say, "Thanks, Juli," and then, "See you at school."
当我第三次去洛世奇家送鸡蛋时，我发现布莱斯特意在等我。等着打开门说，“谢谢，朱莉，”然后，“学校见。”
It was worth it. Even after Mrs. Helms and Mrs. Stueby offered me more money per dozen, it was still worth it.
这很值得。就算在哈姆斯和史努比太太加价了之后，我还是觉得值得。
So, through the rest of sixth grade, through all of seventh grade and most of eighth, I delivered eggs to the Loskis.
所以，六年级剩下的时间，整个七年级和大部分的八年级，我送鸡蛋到洛世奇家。
The very best, shiniest eggs went straight to the Loskis, and in return I got a few moments alone with the world's most dazzling eyes.
最好的、闪亮的鸡蛋总是给洛世奇家，而我可以和那双世界上最闪亮的眼睛单独相处几分钟。
It was a bargain. Then they cut down the sycamore tree. And two weeks later Champ died.
一切都值了。然后他们就砍掉了梧桐树。两个星期后钱普死了。
He'd been spending a lot of time sleeping, and even though we didn't really know how old he was, no one was really surprised when one night Dad went out to feed him and discovered he was dead.
他当时有很长时间都在睡觉，虽然我不知道他究竟有几岁，但是有天晚上爸爸出去喂他时发现他死了，我们都没有很惊讶。
We buried him in the backyard, and my brothers put up a cross that reads: HERE LIES THE MYSTERY PISSER P.I.P.
我们把他葬在了后院，哥哥们立了一个十字架，上面写着：神秘尿人在此长眠。
I was upset and pretty dazed for a while.
整个星期我都很伤心，精神恍惚。
It was raining a lot and I was riding my bike to school to avoid having to take the bus, and each day when I'd get home, I'd retreat to my room, lose myself in a novel, and simply forget about collecting eggs.
虽然经常下雨，但我仍旧骑车上学，避免乘公车，当我每天我回到家，我会退回我房间，沉迷在一本小说里，直接忘记了收集鸡蛋。
Mrs. Stueby was the one who got me back on schedule.
史努比太太把我拉回了时间表。
She called to say she'd read about the tree in the paper and was sorry about everything that had happened, but it had been some time now and she missed her eggs and was worried that my hens might quit laying.
她打电话过来说她在报纸上读到了关于树的事，她感到很抱歉，但是已经过了一段时间，而她开始想念鸡蛋，并且担心那些母鸡们会不再下蛋。
"Distress can push a bird straight into a molting, and we wouldn't want that! Feathers everywhere and not an egg in sight.
“悲痛会让鸡脱毛，而我们不希望那样！羽毛到处飞却见不到一只鸡蛋。
I'm quite allergic to the feathers myself or I'd probably have a flock of my own, but never you mind. You just bring 'em over when you're up to it.
我对羽毛过敏，否则我就会自己养一群，但是别担心。当你想到的时候就带些过来。
All's I wanted was to check in and let you know how sorry I was about the tree. And your dog, too. Your mother mentioned he passed away."
我只是打个招呼并让你知道我为树感到抱歉。还有你的狗。你妈妈提到他过世了。”
So I got back to work. I cleared away the eggs I'd neglected and got back into my routine of collecting and cleaning.
所以我重新开始工作。我扔掉了坏掉的蛋，重新开始常规的收集和清洁。
And one morning when I had enough, I made the rounds. First Mrs. Stueby, then Mrs. Helms, and finally the Loskis.
当一天早上我有足够的鸡蛋时，我开始分头送。先是史努比太太，然后哈姆斯太太，最后是洛世奇家。
And as I stood at the Loskis' threshold, it occurred to me that I hadn't seen Bryce in the longest time.
当我站在洛世奇家门前时，我发现这是我最久一次没见到布莱斯。
Sure, we'd both been at school, but I'd been so preoccupied with other things that I hadn't really seen him.
当然，我们都在学校，但是我只对其他的事情专注，而有些忽略了他。
My heart started beating faster, and when the door whooshed open and his blue eyes looked right at me, it took everything I had just to say, "Here."
我的心跳开始加速，当门打开的时候，他的蓝眼睛直视着我，它让我只能说出一句话，“给你。”
He took the half-carton and said, "You know, you don't have to give us these..."
他接过那半盒然后说：“你知道，你不需要给我们这些……”
"I know," I said, and looked down.
“我知道。”我说着，低下了头。
We stood there for a record-breaking amount of time saying nothing. Finally he said, "So are you going to start riding the bus again?"
我们一言不发站在那儿的时间肯定又破了纪录。最后他说：“你什么时候开始乘公车？”
I looked up at him and shrugged. "I don't know. I haven't been up there since... you know."
我抬头看着他，耸了耸肩：“我不知道。从那以后我就不太想乘车。”
"It doesn't look so bad anymore. It's all cleared. They'll probably start on the foundation soon."
“它看起来没那么糟了。都清理得差不多了。他们大概很快会开始建地基。”
It sounded perfectly awful to me.
这听起来很糟糕。
"Well," he said, "I've got to get ready for school. See you there." Then he smiled and closed the door.
“嗯，”他说，“我要去准备上学。到时候见。”然后他微笑着关上了门。
For some reason I just stood there. I felt odd. Out of sorts. Disconnected from everything around me.
因为一些原因我只是站在那儿。我感觉很奇怪。不知为什么。
Was I ever going to go back up to Collier Street? I had to eventually, or so my mother said. Was I just making it harder?
有什么把我和一切都隔开了。我什么时候要再回科里尔街？这是迟早的事，妈妈也这样说。我让一切都更糟糕了吗？
Suddenly the door flew open and Bryce came hurrying out with an overfull kitchen trash can in his hands. "Juli!" he said. "What are you still doing here?"
突然间门打开了，布莱斯抱着一个满了的垃圾桶走出来。“朱莉！”他说，“你还在这儿呢？”
He startled me, too. I didn't know what I was still doing there.
他也吓了我一跳。我也不知道我为什么还在那儿。
And I was so flustered that I would probably just have run home if he hadn't started struggling with the trash, trying to shove the contents down.
我极其慌乱，如果他没有一直和垃圾作斗争，试着把东西塞下去的话，我可能会直接跑回家。
I reached over and said, "Do you need some help?" because it looked like he was about to spill the trash. Then I saw the corner of an egg carton.
我伸出手说：“你需要帮忙吗？”因为他看起来像要撒掉垃圾。然后我看到了角落里的鸡蛋盒。
This wasn't just any egg carton either. It was my egg carton. The one I'd just brought him. And through the little blue cardboard arcs I could see eggs.
而那不是其他的鸡蛋盒。那是我的蛋盒。我刚送给他的。透过蓝色的硬纸板我还能看见鸡蛋。
I looked from him to the eggs and said, "What happened? Did you drop them?"
我把视线从鸡蛋移到他身上：“发生了什么？你摔了它们吗？”
"Yeah," he said quickly. "Yeah, and I'm really sorry about that."
“是的，”他迅速地说，“是的，我感到很抱歉。”
He tried to stop me, but I took the carton from the trash, saying, "All of them?"
他试图阻止我，但我把盒子从垃圾里拿了出来，说，“所有的吗？”
I opened the carton and gasped. Six whole, perfect eggs. "Why'd you throw them away?"
我打开盒子，倒抽了口气。六个完整的鸡蛋。“你为什么把它们扔掉？”
He pushed past me and went around the house to the trash bin, and I followed him, waiting for an answer.
他绕过我走向垃圾桶，我跟着他，等待一个答案。
He shook the garbage out, then turned to face me. "Does the word salmonella mean anything to you?"
他扔掉垃圾，然后转过来看着我。“你知道沙门氏菌吗？”
"Salmonella? But..."
“沙门氏菌？但是...”
"My mom doesn't think it's worth the risk."
“我妈妈认为不该冒这个风险。”
I followed him back to the porch. "Are you saying she won't eat them because..."
我跟着他回到门廊。“你的意思是她不吃是因为...”
"Because she's afraid of being poisoned."
“因为她害怕中毒。”
"Poisoned! Why?"
“中毒！为什么？”
"Because your backyard is, like, covered in turds! I mean, look at your place, Juli!" He pointed at our house and said, "Just look at it. It's a complete dive!"
“因为你的院子，像，到处都是鸡粪！我的意思是，看看你们的地方，朱莉！”他指着我们的家说，“看看它，实在太糟了！”
"It is not!" I cried, but the truth was sitting right across the street, impossible to deny.
“它没有！”我哭喊道，但是真相就在街对面，无法否认。
My throat suddenly choked closed and I found it painful to speak. "Have you... always thrown them away?"
我的喉咙突然间开始颤抖，连说话都很疼痛：“你...一直都把它们扔掉吗？”
He shrugged and looked down. "Juli, look. We didn't want to hurt your feelings."
他耸了耸肩，低下了头，“朱莉。我们只是不想伤你感情。”
"My feelings? Do you realize Mrs. Stueby and Mrs. Helms pay me for my eggs?"
“我的感情？你难道没发现史努比和哈姆斯太太买我的鸡蛋吗？”
"You're kidding."
“开什么玩笑。”
"No! They pay me two dollars a dozen!"
“我没有！她们付我一打两块钱！”
"No way."
“不可能。”
"It's true! All those eggs I gave to you I could've sold to Mrs. Stueby or Mrs. Helms!"
“是真的。我给你的那些鸡蛋我都可以卖给她们！”
"Oh," he said, and looked away. Then he eyed me and said, "Well, why did you just give them to us?"
“哦。”他说，移开了视线。然后他注视着我说：“那你为什么只送给我们？”
I was fighting back tears, but it was hard. I choked out, "I was trying to be neighborly!"
我把眼泪憋回去，但是这很困难。我哽咽着说：“我只是想友好一点！”
He put down the trash can, then did something that made my brain freeze.
他把垃圾桶放下，然后做了一件让我大脑冻结的事。
He held me by the shoulders and looked me right in the eyes. "Mrs. Stueby's your neighbor, isn't she? So's Mrs. Helms, right? Why be neighborly to us and not them?"
他握住了我的肩，直直地看着我的眼睛。“史努比太太是你的邻居，对吗？哈姆斯太太也是，对吗？为什么对我们友好却不是她们？”
What was he trying to say? Was it still so obvious how I felt about him?
他想要表达什么呢？我对他的感情还是这么显而易见吗？
And if he knew, how could he have been so heartless, just throwing my eggs away like that, week after week, year after year?
如果他知道，他怎么能如此狠心地把我的鸡蛋扔掉，一周又一周，一年又一年？
I couldn't find any words. None at all. I just stared at him, at the clear, brilliant blue of his eyes.
我无话可说。我只是盯着他，看着他眼中清澈光辉的蓝色。
"I'm sorry, Juli," he whispered.
“我很抱歉，朱莉。”他轻声说。
I stumbled home, embarrassed and confused, my heart completely cracked open.
我跌跌撞撞地跑回家，既尴尬又困惑，我的心都碎了。
