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老想着反驳而不是倾听
It’s ok to admit — most of us go into a fight knowing what points we want to make, how we want the other person to feel, and what we want for “winning”. This is a bad attitude to have, though, because any discussion should have at least two sides to be fair. But when you know exactly what you want to say, you often think about that instead of listening to what the other person is saying. Don’t just focus on the first few words your partner says — listen to their whole statement, take a moment to absorb it, and then think about what you want to say in a return.
承认这点没什么-我们多数人都会为了坚持己见、控制他人感受、“赢得”立场而挑起争吵。这种态度很恶劣，因为每场讨论至少应该有两方参加才算公平。可一旦你清楚知道自己想要表达什么的时候，通常你都会护着那个想法，而非去倾听对方。也不要逮着对方开头的只字片语不放-要倾听他们的全部诉说，再好好地吸收，最后思量着怎样回应。
